Has anyone else had an older child go through some major seperation anxiety? We are really struggling with my daughter. They are in Kindergarten this year. They are all in seperate classes. For about the first 2 months of school, she cried and cried. Luckily, it got better. I always walk them to their classes though.

However the last few months she has been getting worse here at home. About a month ago we were at church one evening and she and another little girl shut one of the accordian type doors to one of the classrooms. They couldn't find out how to open it and pretty much freaked out. Since that incident she has been obsessed with doors being locked. She's terrified she will be locked in somewhere. I reassure her that I will always get to her if something like that happens.

Let me say that she has ALWAYS been anxious. She fears so many things and has always been this way. She is not confident at all. I constantly encourage her and tell her she is smart, beautiful & can do anything she wants...even things that boys do

She does not want to be away from me. She wont talk to people who ask her questions. We went to a baby shower for my cousin last week and she was attached to me. My grandma would talk to her and she would just look at her. One of the other little girls (her 2nd cousin) kept asking Isabel to sit with her. Isabel would look at her and say, "No...I want to stay with my mama." The little girl kept asking me why Isabel didn't want to sit with her or talk to her.

Yesterday at church she bawled because she didn't want to leave me for Sunday school. The thing is, I was teaching right next to her class! She wont let them shut the doors while they are in class and becomes hysterical. It disrupts everything.

I'm at a loss on what to do. I'm exhausted and frustrated. They will be 6 at the beginning of July. I don't want to continue to give in to her but I don't want her to feel like I'm not here for her. We are on spring break this week and my dad wants to keep them tomorrow night. She has been crying today telling me she doesn't want to leave me. She's afraid of their dog and this and that. She's afraid of everything.

I've asked her why she is so afraid of everything and why she's afraid to leave me. She just says, "I want to stay with you always." What can I do? Thanks for any suggestions.

Check us out at:
http://thewrighttrips.blogspot.com/

Isabel, Jasper & Jonah were born on July 1, 2006

And my twin angels in heaven ~
Olivia Layne - 2/13/05
Elijah Cain - 2/13/05

Hi there,

I don't have much time (spring break) but I wanted to respond quickly to you. This sounds like a mix of what we've been going through with our two girls (identical). We had some sensory issues with one of girls, so I wouldn't rule out issues with loud noises in school etc.

But definitely read "The Highly Sensitive Child". My kids are almost 7 and we're still dealing with the same issues you are. One of our girls is in therapy, because her anxiety was causing her bigger problems. Being "highly sensitive" is a temperment (sp?). She has a workbook that she works on with her therapist and has good days, bad days.

I was exhausted and frustrated. I couldn't believe that my kids were getting older and they weren't growing out of those issues. It's still difficult but as the book describes, the more effort you put forward, the more helpful it is. Everything you say rings a bell with me. Let your dad keep them tomorrow - she will be OK. It will give her confidence to continue to grow out of it.

But also try to stay with her at Sunday School etc, realize that it's just taking a little more time. If you can, sit with her and let her start to feel more confident. I have done it the last year and I am finally able to sit downstairs with my husband instead of in the back of the Sunday school class. It's worth it.

Sude
Mother to Milly, Sabine, and Jack
05-12-05

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I've wondered if she has some sensory issues. Honestly, I think all my kiddos do to some extent.

I've thought about seeing what a therapist could do for her. I think my family thinks it's a joke when I say that she needs some therapy. I'm totally being serious. And you can relate that something just isn't right with this.

It makes me sad because I want her to have confidence and to know how much she is loved. But lord, there are days when I am beyond frustrated. Tonight the boys & my husband were outside and I put her in the tub because she likes to play forever. I was wiping down the kitchen counters and she kept yelling for me to make sure I was around. I'm always in the next room checking in on her.

Did you have problems with the other two wanting to be around you if your daughter did? I noticed on Sunday that I just let her come to my class for the last few minutes because she was disrupting everything with her crying. Well then my boys were saying, "We want to go with you too, mama!" I'm not sure how to deal with that.

Again, thanks so much! It's nice to know there are other older kids who are going through this.

Check us out at:
http://thewrighttrips.blogspot.com/

Isabel, Jasper & Jonah were born on July 1, 2006

And my twin angels in heaven ~
Olivia Layne - 2/13/05
Elijah Cain - 2/13/05