We are working on potty training. The boys turned 3 in early March. We are just starting with one because that is all I can handle right now. It is going great. He runs to the bathroom on his own when he has to go, holds it down, and is very proud of himself, but this is only if we have him without any clothes on or a diaper. Once we put on a diaper, pull-up, underwear, you name it, he has accidents constantly and will not go to the bathroom. Has anyone else experienced this? How do we fix it? It would be great if we lived in a nudist colony, but we don't

Thanks,

Jennifer

Hi Jennifer. How many accidents does he have in a row in clothes before he goes again while naked? I ask this because my 3.5 year old sons only potty trained a month ago. Well, I can't say that I actually trained anyone. My daughter at 2.5 years just decided one day that she was going to wear underwear and use the potty and that was it. My boys, a full year later, showed no sign, motivation or desire to be potty trained. I just thought, when they're ready, they'll do it. At 2 years old and 3 years old they would, on and off be similar to how you described your son. For awhile, they would use our little training potty when naked and felt like getting some applause. Then I would feel like they were ready, put underwear on them, and watch them just go all over themselves. The problem was that since it wasn't uncomfortable for them to go in a diaper or pull-up, they had no reason to use the potty when dressed. And, when they were wearing underwear, they were dressed, which they still associated with the feeling of wearing a diaper or pull-up, so they would just go (then be sort of surprised at how uncomfortable they were).

Finally at 3 and a half, I just said, no more pull-ups, you are going to wear underwear from now on. I dressed them, packed a huge bag of extra clothes and we went out for the day. They pooped and peed on themselves all over the the place, everywhere we went. I didn't let them go naked at all at home during this period, nor was a pull-up ever an option. I think the first day one of them may have peed on the potty once. But, I just thought if every single time they go, it is so consistently uncomfortable, they will eventually use the potty. That first accident-filled day I took them to a toy store and let them pick out a small present for themselves. I then put it on a high shelf where they could not reach it. I told them if they could go an entire day without an accident, they could have their present. The present, however, was only a secondary motivator. Really, it was the level of discomfort all day long that did the trick. Every time they had an accident, I would just change their clothes calmly and say, "it's okay, we'll keep trying." I was prepared to give it 7 days before putting them back in pull-ups and shelfing the issue. However, after only 4 days, they earned their presents and before 1 week was up, they were totally accident free (I don't think they have had a single accident since).

I recommend never putting them back in a pull-up or diaper (except maybe at night). Let them associate being dressed with either choosing to use the potty or being very uncomfortable. If you cave and put him back in a pull-up, he'll go in it and won't associate any level of discomfort with it, which is a setback.

Let me know how it goes, whatever you choose to do.
Good luck!

--Melissa

Laila, Fineas, and Yitzhak
born 10/6/08 @ 36 wks

When I potty trained my girl, I put her in training undies but when I went to put her in big girl undies she would not pee on the potty. It took about 2 weeks or more to try get her to pee on the potty when I put her in big girl undies. I also trained mine one at a time. It was easier. Just keep trying to put him in undies and he will get it.

Thank you both very much! I guess I suspected this was the case and now you have confirmed it. I have been so stressed over this whole issue. I work full-time and so have limited time to work with the boys on potty training and have been struggling. My husband just switched to 4 10s during the week and so leaves long before the boys wake up in the morning. I am on my own to get all 5 of us ready and out the door and me to work on time and I have done all of this while trying to potty train. I started with the clothes off more for time sake--I simply don't have the time to take their clothes on and off that many times. He does so wonderfully and never has an accident when we don't put clothes on him--that is what is so frustrating. I know he can do it, but he won't even tell us he has to go with the underwear on. I have decided to try what you suggest and have clothes on him all weekend and simply make him wear them accient or not and keep changing them and hope that by Monday, he will 'get it'.

Thanks all,

Jennifer