I still can't believe it actually happened. Last Thursday, 1/27, I went for a routine ultrasound at 20 weeks; all three boys looked fine and were growing well, even baby c who had an enlarged heart which didn't look 'as striking' as in previous u/s. This Monday, 1/31, I went to my appt with a fetal cardiologist, who was to do a fetal echo on baby c to diagnose the condition. Dr did a quick scan of all 3 babies and said ' I'm going to make a quick call; I'll be right back'. Since he had casually mentioned that one of the babies was already engaged, I was thinking he was calling my peri to recommend hospital bedrest. When he returned, he mentioned that my peri was in the office and that we should go to his office for an additional scan. Sure, why not, right? I get to the other office, both drs come in, peri sits down and scans, no talking - I'm getting concerned, but I wasn't the slightest bit prepared for the look on his face when he turned to me. 'Julie, I'm so sorry', and I lost it. I couldn't process what I was hearing. No heartbeats. All three babies. I'm sorry. I just remember repeating 'WHAT? WHAT?' I remember the rest of the morning as a blur, going home, packing a few things, and heading to the hospital with my husband for an induction. We arrived at noon, and by 3pm I was started on continuous fluids and cytotec every 4 hours. Our beautiful boys were born on February 1 at 717am, 719am, and 722am. We held and cuddled them as long as we could; they were so perfect - tiny little hands and feet, daddy's nose, and they all resembled their big sister. Please share with me how to cope with this; I feel like I'm losing my mind.


Julie

Gabriella 6/4/04
Matteo Alessandro Santino - our angels - 2/1/11

Julie,

first of all I want to say how very very sorry I am about the loss of your three sons. Please post here any time, there is a wonderful group of women who have lost one of more of their multiples who are very supportive and great listeners. We also have a private group on facebook. Please PM me with your last name and I will send you a friend request. also, please feel free to email me any time.

what was helpful to me was leaning on those close to me for support and also talking with the women in this "group." My heart breaks for you, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Dana

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

Dana

Thank you so much. Sorry, I can't figure out how to PM, but you'll find me under Julie Bertoncin Kano.

Julie


Gabriella 6/4/04
Matteo Alessandro Santino - our angels - born 2/1/11

Julie,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Matteo, Alessandro, and Santino. My heart goes out to you and your family. The thing that has helped the most is being able to reach out to other moms like me. Family has been supportive, but for me it just isn't the same as talking to others who truly "get it".

Allison

Mom to:
Madeline 09/2001
Jack, Evan & ^Alex^ 03/02/2008 @ 26 weeks

Julie,

I am so sorry for the loss of your boys.

What helped me was taking it one whatever at a time - one day, one afternoon, one hour, one minute if that's what you could manage. I did not want to fall apart in front of my girls - not that they would have understood, but because if I was a mess I wouldn't be able to take care of them. So I would designate times when I could break down, if necessary - the shower, when they went to bed. I still broke down at other times, but sometimes knowing that in 45 minutes I'd get to take a shower was enough to get me through, and then I could let it go.

Also posting here where people understand helped. The majority of family and friends who acknowledged our loss (there were some who didn't, and still haven't) no longer say anything to us - and sadly I think it is worse since my daughter, like your boys, was stillborn. But the women here get it, always.

Again, I am so, so sorry.

Amy

Mom to Julia, ^Caitlin^ & Gabrielle



http://onealaskanmom.wordpress.com

What a devastating loss. I'm so sorry. Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I hope you find much support through this board and through Facebook. *hugs*

I'm SO SORRY! My heart breaks for you! I will send many prayers your way.

Hopeful7
Thankfully, Families are Forever!


Girl Boy Girl
Hospital Bedrest for 74 days!! Babies born at 30w 4day!
Baby A 2lb 14oz, Baby B 3lb 5oz, Baby C 3lb 1oz... and perfectly healthy!!!
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.co

I am so sorry. I wanted recommend another group as great as this one called elimbo. I am so sorry for your loss did they tell you what happened?

Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob

"
Big brother Justin 8

Julie,

I did not see your post last month, I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your precious sons. I've always referred to the emotion I felt after our son died as "the emotion that has no name". There isn't a word to adequately describe the sorrow and heartache.

I am glad you posted her and I hope you've been getting support. There are too many that have travelled in your shoes before you and I'm sure they have been, or will, reach out.

There is another support group called LAMBS (Loss of All in Multiple Birth Support): http://www.public.iastate.edu/~cjenks/lambs.html

Here is another website that I found helpful early on:
http://www.climb-support.org/

Again, I am so sorry.

Marie

Hi all
Sorry for my delay in responding; I've not checked back here for a while. It turns out that two of the babies' cords inserted on the edge of the placenta, so they were only getting about 10% of the nutrients. While that doesn't make it any easier to accept, at least I can wrap my head around the facts.

Julie


Gabriella 6/4/04
Matteo Alessandro Santino - our angels - born 2/1/11