Does anyone have any good ideas for Christmas traditions for the baby that didn't survive? I feel like we should do something to honor/remember him each year, but I don't know what's appropriate. We had stockings made for each baby with their names embroidered on them, and I contemplated hanging his with the rest of the family's, but right now that's kind of sad. It makes me cry every time I look at it. Maybe we don't need to do anything, but I wondered if anyone has anything special to suggest.

Thanks.

We hang Eric's stocking with the rest of the family's, but we fill his all month long with newborn baby items, then on Christmas Eve we take it to the NICU where he was born and give it to them to give (anonymously) to a new born baby boy in there. (or closest to newborn)

Last year they gave it to a baby that was born to a single mom who they said could really use the help.

It makes me cry when I buy the things, but I do it a little at a time and it's good to give to someone.

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

Hi, it's so difficult this time of year. Last year and this year we have put a little christmas tree on Harry's grave. we normally go to church on christmas morning and then visit the cemetary. My eldest son brought a card home from school today he had everyone's name on it and the said, 'oh i forgot to put Harry on' so he added Harry's name on. I thought that was lovely that he thought of his brother.

Thinking of you all

Davina xx

Mum to two surving ID triplet boys, Charlie 2lb, Owen 2lb 2 and little Harry 1lb 12 who was only with us for 23 days

This is our first christmas without Hayden. Someone suggested at a support group i went to last month to maybe put him up his own christmas tree in our house. So that is what we are going to do. Then I can have people buy ornament that they like and that maybe reminded them of hayden. Which is the hard part since he was only with us 14 months. Every year my mom buys all the grandkids hallmark ornaments and she said now she can buy him whatever and i told her no that i still wanted to finish his train that they have through hallmark 1-5 just like we are doing for his brother and sister. His grave has some stuff on it now. I made him a wreath that is going out today. I also helped my dad make him a grave blanket, their are candy canes on it. Haydens grave is full size cause of the size of vault they used. It is a good thing cause I need all the room. My sister is taking him out a christmas tree that is real and then she is going to plant it in her yard in the spring. We are staying home christmas day instead of going everywhere. I don't think I want to be around alot of people that day the only place we will go is the cemetery.

Jaclyn

http://thesheridangang.blogspot.com/

We choose 3 children each year to buy gifts for from the tree at DH's office. We choose a boy the same age as my DS, a girl the same age as our girls, and an infant boy about 6 - 7 months old.

My hope is to help teach my living children about giving so they help choose some of the things that we give. I usually end up doing all the shopping for the infant, but may include the kids in the future. I usually choose toys that encourage learning/exploring and those that will "grow" with the child. I also provide at least a full set of new clothes. I tend to go overboard with these each year, but so enjoy doing it.

This year I included a note to the family of the baby and signed it "Daniel's Family". I have always wanted the people to know that the gifts were chosen out of love. I also want to feel that my baby has touched others and continues to do so.

Next year I may try to include a disposable camera and a small photo album for the parents, along with a WM gift card to pay for prints. We have a few photos of my angel with his beautiful smile. I would love to give that gift to the parents of these babies too.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

Mameerville mom,

I think this is such a beautiful idea and want to commend you for thinking of it.

We have ornaments for the first set of boys that go on our tree. Of course, at this point, the other three don't know about the first three. I don't think I could handle looking at personalized stockings right now. But since this is such a great idea....when my boys get older and we start "thinking of others"--like next year, I think we will do this.

Thank you for this post.

Melody
^bbb^ 11-03-03 at 22 weeks
BBB ^d^ 1-08-06 at 30.3 weeks I am an earthly mom at last!
keep up with us at www.lodyp.com

Hi Amanda,

Every year I buy my daughter an ornament for a tree that we put-up especially for her.

I have as stocking with her name on it.

I decorate her grave usually with a grave blanket and pretty trinkets.

I donate to a worthy cause on behalf of my daughter.

I have a close circle of angel moms that I send something "angelic" to on behalf of my daughter (usually an ornament or lapel pin).


Hugs,
7mozz

A tad late in my response, but I wanted to answer anyway...

We select an ornament each year for all of our children. We choose an angel of some sort, to represent Molly's life. Lately though, I have been thinking about butterflies. Possibly a combination of angels who have wings and flutter about like butterflies... Molly's ornaments mingle on our tree with everyone else's.

We also purchase gifts for children who would be her age. She was my only girl, it gives me a chance to buy those frilly pink things...

The first few years we released pink and white balloons...

Cynthia
Mom to:
Branden 15
Ryan 9 (surviving twin)
Joey, Ethan, and Colin 6
Born at 35 weeks!!


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