Hillyt mom to
Ian 12
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 3

Maybe it is just my kids, but I don't get the big push for keeping kids together in school. Are my kids freakishly independent triplets to want to be separated for school? They love to participate in their own actiities, go to birthday parties without their siblings, and even on sleepovers to grandmas or the neighbors. I don't think I did anything that made them want to be away from each other, they play together at home, share a room, and have lots of together time. It seems like there are many triplet moms who indicate that their kids depend on each other, or have bonded more than mine seem to.
I guess what I am wondering, is what makes one set "need" each other, and another set completely oblivious, or even going out of their way to get "alone" time. I don't have kids that would disrupt a class together, and our school does whatever the parents ask for. I just separated them to give them a chance to have their own experiences, and a little time apart during the day.
After reading all the posts about placement, I asked them what they would choose to do, and they all three want their own teacher.

I am not saying that I think kids have to be separated, I have several triplet mom friends who have chosen for theirs to be together for various reasons. (mainly mom-driven, not kid driven) Anyone want to weigh-in on why they think their kids would choose to be in the same class?

Hillyt, I have had mine seperated since 1st grade. I responded to Camille's posts here and in the pre-teen forum about this issue. Your not alone with willingly deciding to keep them seperate. For us it was the best option and I have no regrets.

Shell~
B/B/G 1/7/2000

My girls truly like being together.
Now they do have different interests, participate in different sports, have some same friends and some different friends but I think they just "know" they belong together.

We have started separating them in 6th, 7th and next year, 8th grade. We chose to do this because their high school is big and odds are they will have many classes apart. So far each has enjoyed being in their own class but no one complains when they are back with a sibling.

Sometimes I think they liked being together so if one forgot homework, someone else would remember.

Actually, my son is very close to the girls too and even in their teens years, will hang out together. Maybe its a family trait. My sisters, brother and I hung out together in high school tho we were all different ages.


Judie and Victor
lucky parents to
Frankie 3/95
Maggie 7/96
Rose 7/96
Elizabeth 7/96

Hillyt mom to
Ian 12
Ella, Holly, Jilly 6
Hadley 3

Judie, that is funny about the homework. It is my biggest problem with 3 classes! I am the opposite about middle school. My son is very disorganized, and the girls are a little better, but my plan was to place them on the same "team" for middle school, so I only have to focus on one set of proceedures, projects, family nights, ect. I am going nuts trying to figure out how to help him with 5 teachers/classes. Might lose my mind if that was 15 teachers!

Mine do spend a lot of time playing together even when they don't have to, but they love having their own thing at school. I wonder how it will play out as they get older. Since we have 5 kids, we had to be somewhat creative with schedules, actiities, and playdates to fit it all in, maybe they just like to be on their own to avoid the chaos!?

Hi!

I always wanted mine separate and they have been since the age of 4. They like to be apart and have their own classes etc.
They way I see it, they never asked to be a triplet, they HAVE to share the same birthday, etc., so having something to call their own and not have to share seems good. They even all have their own bedrooms- which they are never in unless to sleep - because they are always together. Go figure! But for 2nd grade I have decided to put 2 together, but its for my benefit only. Having 3 different 1st grade homework assignments, after school stuff and a 2 year old demanding attention was rough!


Gina mom to BBG born 2-4-03 at 37 weeks
and surprise baby boy 11-21-07

I have no idea what makes them independent, other than personality.

My choice for keeping them together was mom-driven and because we are in a poor school district and my kids all speak English, so that was a plus. They would have been fine separated and do stuff alone just as yours. They were just born that way and I have always wondered a bit about the "triplet bond" thing, cuz I don't really see it.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Another major difference could be how the family operates. My husband and I like to be joined at the hip. The five of us are together ALL the time. Trips to the store, trips to grandmas, all sports or school classes, etc. Many families don't operate that way. Mine didn't when I was a child, both my parents worked full time (or even two jobs at a time) and we were kinda on our own often -running in different directions.

I think mine are totally into the triplet bond. Possibly not necessarily triplet wise, but sibling wise for sure. Maybe it is different for ggg or bbb triplets?

I asked mine about if they wanted to have their own class next year or stay together and all three said stay together and seemed to fully understand what I was asking.

ETA: When on play dates or at school, my trio does play separately as well as together. They will go find their own "new friends" or play by themselves. Definitely not dependant on one another, (they will stay at Nana's house one at a time some nights) but for school- they chose together.

Laura & Don
BBB 5/05
www.ourbighappy.blogspot.com

"

I've kept mine together and separate, depending on the school year. The first year in PreK my dds were together because there were only 2 classes and one of my dds suffered from separation anxiety. I don't think it was a "triplet bond" type of separate anxiety though. She would've been happy had her older sister been in her class instead of her triplet sisters; she just wanted somebody familiar in the room. At the end of PreK, I asked my dd if she wanted to be in her own Kinder class, and she said no. However, I thought she was ready for it, so I placed them in separate classes . . . she shed a few tears the first week but was fine after that. 1st grade I kept them together because I thought one teacher was better than the other; separation anxiety had completely disappeared by this time, so it didn't factor in my decision. The past two years they've been in separate classes, but the teachers team-teach so my kids rotate and see the same teachers at different times. Also, part of the school they've ended up in the same class. I've asked my dds whether they want to be in same or separate classes. At times they've said same and other times they say separate. Honesty, I don't think they care because they've been in both and had positive experiences. I plan on separating them in 4th grade, but I don't rule out ever placing them in the same class in the future. My decision will depend on what I believe will benefit them academically. -- Gloria

Good point on how the family operates. Greg and I obviously operate on our own planets and he's always got one or two and vice versa with me. Never thought about that.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

My kids were separated this year in 2nd Grade for the first time. They have done great. But they also did great together. They actually prefer the separate classes now. Next year 2 of them will be in the same class because of how our school divides the children based on academic level. This year they were all on different levels. Now I have two above grade level so they will be in the same class. I know they loved having their own teachers...but it's just the way it goes and they will be fine.

Anyway, my kids definitely have a special bond and get along really well. But they absolutely function fine when apart.


Terri~
12/21/01 at 33 weeks

"Anyone want to weigh-in on why they think their kids would choose to be in the same class?"

I think that if I would have given my kids the choice, when they were going into preschool or kindergarten, they would have definitely picked together because it is far less scary to walk into a classroom with their brothers than it would be to go by themselves. They were scared, just like 95% of the other kids starting school for the first time. I think a child would have to be unusually well adjusted and extremely confident to actually ask for their own class, in a new school, where they don't know anyone.

That's why I didn't ask my kids.

I always find this topic very interesting. I would like to see more people say how they feel keeping their kids together actually benefits their kids. It seems like so many of the reasons have to do with it being easier for the family, or it doesn't really matter, or parent volunteer time, or a reason that is specific that that family or school. I'm not saying these are not good reasons. Many of them are. But, what I am really interested in is what actual benefits people think their multiples (the actual triplets or quads)get by being in the same class as their siblings. I'm not questioning the choices that people make, but more wondering about the thinking that goes on behind the choice.

And, FWIW, I think a lot of the "triplet bond" that people talk about is imposed by the parents. Maybe it is different for identicals, but my kids act like brothers that happen to be the same age. They love eachother, care about eachother and enjoy eachother but, they are individuals first. My sister and I are 12 months apart. Obviously, we were not in the same class in school(Thank Gd, I don't think we would have survived), but we shared a lot of activities and friends...and at many points, that was really annoying. I can't believe so many people don't think that is a problem....especially if one of the siblings is quiet and another one has a big mouth. How would you like it if your big mouth sister was in your group of close friends...or your multiples' group? Mine is, and just in case she reads this, I'm not saying my sister has a big mouth. I love my sister and we are very, very close. I'm glad that we are sharing friends again, but it was like "bizarro world" for a while and I don't even live with her any more. Just something to think about...

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com