Boy it has been an emotional day! After dealing with all the repercussions of my mom's attempt at night-training my kids, I had a huge confrontation at Sam's Club. To be honest, I am a little worried that CPS will be called with my license plate number.

Tell me this - at what age would you leave your kids for just a minute at a store? Tell me honestly if you think I was reckless.

We ran to Sam's after The Little Gym tonight. When we were done, it was raining absolute buckets. Our Sam's has a covered entrance/pull-through, and a wide (like 20 feet) sidewalk between the pull-through and the building. I pulled the grocery cart up next to the building (like 5 feet from the entrance - out of the way, but right next to the entrance). I instructed my kids clearly not to let go of the cart for any reason whatsoever, not to let the cart move, and not to talk to anyone. Two cart boys were standing right there watching this, along with a number of other patrons. They were like 15 feet from the pull-through where cars drive, but cars have to pull in between curbs (sort of like a bank drive-thru), so they aren't going to be driving fast. And my kids WILL NOT go out in the street.

I raced out and got the car and pulled back up. Gone for maybe 1 minute tops as I was in the row of parking spaces right in front of the door. Technically I guess they weren't in my sight as I was running away from them.

When I got back, this 50ish-year-old woman was talking to the kids and appeared angry. I immediately opened the back van door and ushered the children in and shut the door. She apparently had tried to take them in to customer service to report them abandoned, and they had told her that they weren't allowed to talk to her without Mommy and they weren't moving. And they flat refused to go, to the point of threatening to kick her. "They could have run out in the road, they could have been kidnapped, etc. etc."

I would never leave ONE of them like that at this age, but 4 kids? Tell me the truth - am I totally reckless? Or am I doing the right thing to give them 60 seconds of freedom in a semi-controlled environment, knowing that in another year it may be a few more minutes, and assuming this teaches them something so they will be prepared when they are at the age that they want to be dropped off at the mall?

I should add that there were a LOT of other people waiting right there, including several Sam's employees and several moms with kids, waiting for the rain to slow down a little. They ALL heard my instructions to the kids. That was part of why I felt OK about it as well. I was 99.9% sure that my kids would obey. I really am that confident. The bigger risk, of course, would be someone trying to snatch them, but who would do that with 20 witnesses at rush hour in a good neighborhood?

We as Americans are prone to trying to raise our kids in this bubble instead of teaching them and allowing them some small freedoms to prove themselves. The risk, I feel, was SO minimal, but the lesson (especially as they had the chance to practice what to do if someone tried to get them to go) was important!

What do you think? Surely I'm not about to get stuck in the "free-range parenting" category!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

I'm sorry but your pick THIS TIME to give them some freedom???

To be honest if you were parked in the front row like you said, why not just walk them with the cart to your car? They won't melt, it's raining, so what, all 3 or 4 hold on to the cart and walk to the car. I would NEVER in a million years think that it would be a good idea to leave my kids standing alone with the cart and my kids are GREAT listeners and would do as their told. But it takes one second for a kid to wiggle enough, fall in to the cart and the cart start rolling, with children attached and you have an accident...

I'm sorry Megan, but I think you need to rethink your time to let them have more freedom, this wasn't one of them!


Michelle

Tyler - 19-college bound-Oh My!
Steph - 17
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan - 5 ~33wk2d~

I am going to be honest and say that I thought the same thing. This is when you decide to let go a bit?

I know at our Sams people are always pulling up to the front to load up big stuff, usually halfway on the sidewalk, and when it is raining, they seem to do it even more. Also, our Sams tends to have a lot of nitwit drivers. At 5 years old, I wouldn't have left them to go get the car. I think I give my kids lots of freedom and they are very independent. However, I am still very careful around cars and in parking lots.

Having said that, it would have been nice if the lady could have been a nice older worman that remembered the struggles of being a Mom with young kids and just stood there with them until you returned and dropped the angry lecture.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

Megan, my girls are a month older than yours and there is NO WAY I would pick a time like that to let them have a taste of freedom. We are just barely doing 10 minutes in the backyard by themselves for them to have some independence.

As Michelle said, what's wrong with a little rain? My kids love being in the rain. There were just way too many things to go wrong in the situation you described. I'm glad nothing happened, but I would have been concerned just like the lady was.

Wow.

Michelle
ggg born March 15, 2005
35.2 wks

I wouldn't have done it. The lady should not have talked with your kids or tried to move them. But I never in a million years would have left my kids like that.

You said the risk was minimal. Why put your kids at risk at all?

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

The other day, at Wal*mart, I picked a really good spot across from the cart rack and I walked the kids over, all holding hands. It was near the front and the stop sign was right there. The cart was behind it. I moved the cart after I got two of my girls in and as I got the third one in a dump truck backed up into the stop sign and it crashed to the ground. (They were putting in new sidewalks). It happened literally where I had just had the cart and moved it to get my third baby in...

My point, you just never know and I was there the whole time. If I hadn't been there and something awful had happened, I would never forgive myself.

Sometimes, common sense has to dictate situations and this was not the time I would have picked to provide my girls an opportunity to invite trouble. Parking lots, roads, and public areas, in general are totally my clamp down places. I just wouldn't have done it...




Jamye

No. I wouldn't have ever done that, but I would not have called CPS on you. I wouldn't have done it because my kids would never in their lives stand there obediently and wait for me. The thought of my wild monkeys just standing there makes laugh. They would have piled in the basket and Gregory would have taken them sailing across the parking lot.

Good for your kids for standing up to the strangers, but I think it was a bad idea.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Michele,

I think we have the same kids!

Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 13 yr old big brother
and 3 yr old little brother

I think maybe this was just a momentary lapse in judgement. This probably wasn't the best time to start feeding your little ones their first tastes of freedom. But we've all made mistakes!



Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 13 yr old big brother
and 3 yr old little brother

My girls are 3 months older and also very well-behaved in public. I personally wouldn't have done that, but not because I don't trust my children. It's OTHER people I don't trust.

I was just at Target last week, walking with 4 kids hand-in-hand IN THE CROSSWALK when an elderly lady zoomed around the corner and ignored two stop signs to come plowing past me and into a handicapped spot. She was about five feet from me when I pushed the kids backward.

(I told her "Feel free to ignore those stop signs... they're just for looks anyway" as she got out of her truck, LOL.)

Just an FYI, my husband used to work security detail for Target and heard all about country-wide incidents where children were molested/stolen one aisle away from a parent. It's more common than you think. It only takes about ten seconds for someone to move in and walk away with a child. What if that "concerned Grandma" was a sick pedophile who just grabbed a kid and ran?

There's just too much that can go wrong. In the bigger picture, I'd rather let my kids have fun in the rain for 30 seconds and get a little wet than regret leaving them on their own like that.

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

Hell to the NO!!! This should be entitled "a little freedom IN THE PARKING LOT?!?"

Really, you are UBER strict with your children and cautious and all and you choose the parking lot at a store to give them independence?

I'm with one of the previous posters - why couldn't you just run them to the car if it was parked so closely?

Not the smartest thing ever done, but then again, nothing that I would call CPS for.

Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005