Tracy responded to me on my post about class pictures that she was divorced also. Are there any other divorced MOMs on here that have school age kids?

It will be 4 years in May since my ex and I separated. I have been doing this by myself thing for awhile now. Currently my ex does not have utilities so the girls are only having daytime visits with him every other weekend. He picks them up on Sat. morning and I pick them up Sat. at 8 p.m. He comes back on Sunday morning and I pick them up at 5:30 p.m. I gotta admit that I am tired. I had two sick girls home this week so that meant I missed THREE days of work without pay. (No my ex will not watch them when they are sick) I start a new job on Tuesday and am hoping that everyone stays healthy so I don't miss anymore work. Ugh. I don't have family in town to help out other than my brother who has 4 kids of his own too. I think the thing that is hardest for me is that I am lonely. I don't have time to go out with friends. On my days when the girls are with their Dad I run all my errands, groceries, etc. I catch up on all laundry and house cleaning. On the weekends when I have the girls I try to find activities for us to do as family. So there really isn't any me time. I was trying to figure out what to give up for Lent but I have given up so much that I couldn't find anything to give up!

I'm not complaining really. Just stating what my life is like. I would love to hear from other MOMs to see how you handle the day-to-day stuff.

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

Hi,

It looks like we are a rare breed! I'm sorry you get little help from your ex. With me, we separated a couple weeks after the kids turned 3. I was completely shocked and wasn't expecting it. But, I have to say, even though my ex wasn't a good husband, he is a good father. From the beginning he continued to help me, coming over almost every night to get me through dinner, baths and bed. It was tough being around him during that time. I was sooo angry with him, but I also was sooo overwhelmed that I needed the help. I also didn't want to let him off the hook by leaving me all the work. Sometimes I would go to the grocery or run errands while he took care of the kids at my house. Now, things are pretty good. He keeps them overnight a couple nights a week and comes over on Thursday nights to help finish homework, etc. We are able to be in the same room together without killing each other, so that's a blessing. I have no family in town, but he has tons. They ALL are angry at him and have supported me from the beginning. In fact, I get invited to the holiday celebrations and he doesn't. It's a little strange.

But, that all being said, it is still very tough. The nights that I am on my own are exhausting. There simply isn't enough time in the day to do all the things we need to do. Forget about playing together. It's just trying to do what we HAVE to to make it to tomorrow. I hate that I have to be in this situation and would just like to be a normal family. My exhaustion leads to me getting angry when I shouldn't and things like that. I want to be a fun happy mom, but when you are doing it on your own, it's hard to deal with it all and enjoy it too. Sometimes you are just trying to survive.

Anyway, glad we could connect. I hope to hear from a few more moms like us!

Tracy
Mommy to Lindsey, Patrick and Brooke
Born 1-14-03 at 32weeks, 3 days and ^i^ twins Dylan 1-12-02 and Cole 1-21-02

I'm divorced too.
I left my ex when my trio were 1.
I hate dealing with him for all the reasons I hated being married to him, but we share custody. He takes the kids every other weekend from Friday after work thru Monday morning. It's bitter sweet since I get a lot done but miss them!

I have a partner though. My boyfriend and I have been together since my ex and I split in '05. So for that and other things I am very lucky, but I still have to deal with the ex- and all the stuff that goes along with being divorced and having 4 kids!

Jami
mom to 7 year old BGG,
9 year old G, & 11 year old G

Do you kids enjoy spending time with their dad?

Tracy
Mommy to Lindsey, Patrick and Brooke
Born 1-14-03 at 32weeks, 3 days and ^i^ twins Dylan 1-12-02 and Cole 1-21-02

Hello, I have 6 yr. old triplet girls and I too am divorced. It's hard but for me it's better than being married to him. All I heard from him was "No one will have anything to do with you with triplets."
Sometimes I think it's true but listening to you gives me hope.

I am divorced as well - 7 yr old triplet boys, an adult daughter - and a grandaughter too.. yes I heard it all - you will never find anyone , blah, blah.. well I found someone who was an old friend .. he loves my boys, and he has helped me realize that I can love and trust someone again.. and the rest of the family is finally coming around to accepting the fact that life does indeed go on ..

My post-divorce life for the past 2 yrs has been full of ups and downs. The day to day struggles of working full-time , raising three boys and sharing custody is challenging - but so worth the peace of mind I have now..
My boys did have family therapy during the separation,divorce, and post-divorce to help them put the pieces together . The therapist said they seemed to have adjusted to the split family. They look forward to time with their father, and while I miss them when they are gone - I do get MORE sleep. LOL

I am happy to have connected with others in a similiar situation.

Lisa mom to Melanie(29)
Guillermo,Jonathan,William(10.9.01 @34 weeks)
Grandma to Brianna(5)

Your comment on the rest of the family has finally accepted things...all I heard was I was ruining the girls lives by wanting a divorce and I was just being selfish. I thought it was better to show them what was going on was not normal and hopefully one day I can show them what a real relationship should be. Didn't make sense to me to live in a situation I know wasn't right. They seem to be ok.

I didn't respond to this initially because I am not technically a "divorced mom." I am, however, single and I found that I would be very lonely without my kids on the weekends, but being able catch up on the laundry and putz around the house would be nice sometimes.

Of course, I'm also grateful that I don't have to deal with that whole "ex" thing and having to split up my kids' lives.

Anyway, it's good to know there are other single moms here.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It's been three years now and I still have NO desire to date. None. I am enjoying doing what I want, when I want to (as far as I can with kids...) I mean like watching what TV I want, making what I want for dinner, doing what I want to with the house, etc. Plus, who on earth has time to date???? I can barely make it through the day sometimes, I think dating would be more stress on my already stressed out life. Maybe next year...

Tracy
Mommy to Lindsey, Patrick and Brooke
Born 1-14-03 at 32weeks, 3 days and ^i^ twins Dylan 1-12-02 and Cole 1-21-02

I will soon be divorced..next week or so. have been separated for almost 1 year. It has been very hard for me...I have 10 yrs old triplets and a 4 yr old(adopted). It hit me in the face like a freight train. My soon ex to be is 56 and has a girlfriend 30 yrs old......our employee..had been going on for a while..asked her to marry him over a yr ago...do the math .....yep..while still sleeping in my bed and showed no signs of infedelity...i will be much better off

I will soon be divorced..next week or so. have been separated for almost 1 year. It has been very hard for me...I have 10 yrs old triplets and a 4 yr old(adopted). It hit me in the face like a freight train. My soon ex to be is 56 and has a girlfriend 30 yrs old......our employee..had been going on for a while..asked her to marry him over a yr ago...do the math .....yep..while still sleeping in my bed and showed no signs of infedelity...i will be much better off