My dh and I delivered triplets. One of the identicals was stillborn. We have always been open and honest with the other two about their sister going to heaven. Ever since losing one of them of course I'm always terrified that something terrible is going to happen to the other ones, especially the identical. She has almost died many of times. A couple of days ago she got in trouble for pushing her sister off of her bike. When I was telling her that she was wrong for doing that and she needed to come inside until she was ready to apologize she picked up a knife sharpener and threatened to kill herself. Of course I was stunned, shocked and petrified. I explained to her that you don't say such things and sent her to her room to calm down. Well tonight she said it again after getting in trouble for sassing. I don't think she has any intentions of doing such a thing but I don't know how to stop her from saying it. I'm wondering if she has physcological problems or is doing it for attention.

Please someone help me? Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Jennifer
Kaitlyn 10 "Miss Independent"
Kiersten 7 "Flirty Baby"
^jenna^ our little angel
Hailey 7 "Escape Artist"

I haven't experienced this, but it would definitely freak me out. Children that young can experience depression. I would at the very least speak to your doctor about this and get his/her opinion.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

<a href="http://www.tickercentral.com"><img border="0" src=""></a>


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She only threatens suicide when you discipline her? Total attention seeking. I would be mad.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Could be attention seeking, but....

She could really be having issues understanding the death of her sibling. My DS began to be more emotional about the loss of his twin when he was about 5 - 6. Who knows. She may be thinking that the other baby was a "bad girl" and that's why she died. So since she "was bad", she should die too. Not saying that's what it is, but kids at this age make some pretty bizarre connections as they try to figure out their world. She has a lot more to figure out than most kids.

I would consider talking to a counselor (parenting advocate) to see what his/her thoughts might be. You could try counseling for a short time. If it helps, great. IF not, move on. The ped may be a place to start, but don't let them dismiss your concerns without a real discussion. Make them tell you what they would recommend if it IS more than attention getting behavior.

I would also mention that no matter how shocked you are at her words and actions, do your best not to over-react. This would really fuel the fire, especially if it IS attention-getting.

Maybe talking to her about her behavior when everyone is calm would be a good start. Try to help her understand that her body made a poor choice for <insert transgression her>. That it's your job to help her learn how to be a good friend and sister, and that even if she makes mistakes you'll always love her.

Make sure she understands that you want her here, not in heaven with her sister. That God has a purpose for her on earth.

I think I would really consider it more than a phase, until you know otherwise. Not understanding her needs now, could really be cause for trouble when she is a teen.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

I would get her assessed by a professional. Depressions symptoms for children are different than adults. While there is some chance she is manipulating you, I wouldn't want to make that call. Picking up the knife sharpener raises my concern even more.

Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)

Please, please take your daughter to a therapist. While she probably is not really suicidal, she probably is hurting. Even if she is only being manipulative, that level of manipulation is not really healthy.

One of my five-year-old triplets has threatened suicide several times, and wishes he could die even more frequently. He is under psychiatric care for a mental disorder that causes him a lot of distress. It is beyond painful for me to see the pain in his eyes, pain that makes him feel like the only way to feel better is to die. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 12 yr old big brother
and 2 yr old little brother

I sat down with her the other day and asked her about Jenna. She said that she misses her and wishes she could see her. I told her that we all miss her and we all will see her someday. I also explained to her that Jenna had a purpose and that was to watch over all of us. I also said that God gave her a purpose and even though we don't know what it is right now I'm sure it is going to be wonderful. Maybe she will be a famous chef. (That is her dream). She giggled. I told her that God gave her the gift of life and he would be very sad if she didn't want that gift anymore. She asked me what my purpose was and I told her to take care of the ones I love (and not go insane):-)

I'm hoping that this talk might have helped. If she says it again we are off to the doctor.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

Jennifer
Kaitlyn 10 "Miss Independent"
Kiersten 7 "Flirty Baby"
^jenna^ our little angel
Hailey 7 "Escape Artist"

Michelle,
I had to step away from the screen for a few minutes before replying to your statement. I am absolutely seeing red. When ANYONE (child or adult) threatens suicide it should be taken seriously even if it is obviously being done for attention!

My dd lost a classmate last year because her threats of suicide were not taken seriously by parents or friends. She was a good kid who hit a rough time and she didn't know how to deal with it. She WAS seeking attention with her threats of suicide. They were a cry for HELP!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson