I posted a while back about my 'in denial' SIL and my nephew who is 4 and has definite autistic spectrum tendencies. I was nervous having just come out and told all my inlaw side of the family about my son Charles and how she would react to it since she is VERY against the "A" word as she calls it. But, it has had a great outcome and I thought I'd share since so many of you gave me good advice.

My DH told her (its his sis) and she was very rude saying "thats not true, get a second opinion, just let him be a kid, don't let them label him with the A word," etc etc.

Well, a few days later she called (when she knew my dh would be at work) and we started to talk about charles. I was very up front about our situation and just stated things in a matter of fact way and that we were getting help for him now.
We kind of went back and forth about our two boys and how they have similar 'personalities'. we said that when we go visit with all the family next week our two boys will get along great because they won't talk to eachother or look at eachother!
Anyway, at the end of the conversation she said she was going to enroll her son in a preschool at a very well respected school for children with autism. i asked (acting dumb) "i thought you guys didn't think he had autism?" and she broke down crying and said "everything you describe about charles is Nathan to a T, except nathan is 4 1/2 already!"
She still doesn't like to say the "a" word... but she has accepted that her boy needs help immediately and he goes in for an eval next week.
I'm so glad that our honesty and acceptance of our situation was helpful to her and this cute little guy who can finally get some therapy and help!

Meg