Amy, my eldest son had the opposite problem -- he was born with an extra thumb on his left hand.

We were determined not to remove it -- and subject him to full anesthesia -- for cosmetic reasons. At age two, they determined that his thumb was not enervated (no nerves) so, even though it had a joint and nail, he couldn't move it. It wasn't in his way and he was developing normally, so we did absolutely nothing.

However, when he went to preschool, he began to ask if it could be removed. We made sure that he asked several times, before we discussed it seriously. He was only three, but very verbal and intelligent. We explained that once it was removed, it couldn't be sewn back on. At age 4, he made a very determined decision to have it removed.

The surgery was very quick and he recovered completely. (I was a complete basket case all day.) Now (age 16), he says that he regrets having it removed, because it was "cool," but I'm not so sure about that.

Just one more thought: My parents and in-laws pressured us to no end and were very angry that we didn't remove his thumb immediately, because it would make our son "different." But, our son is very different -- he's extremely gifted, very political, and quite a classic nerd. The thumb was the least of it. Everyone is different.

I'm sure that Caleb will do well either way. (Gorgeous name, btw!)

Best of luck,
~~ Jen

Auntie Jen
Mom to 3 teens <sigh>
Aunt to bbg triplets 10/30/03