Hitting it tough. Like biting or pinching. I think it's as much about a lack of empathy, as it is about impulsivity. Abbi wasn't terribly aggressive, per say. I didn't deal with too much of that. Kaeleb, 2.5 years old, has zero receptive language and has absolutely zero pain response. He is terribly aggressive. Know, before I continue, that I am not comparing your kiddo to Kaeleb. I know he is in a league of his own, but I will share how the behavorist tells us to manage him.

Like most toddlers, empathy is learned not innate. When you are dealing with a child falling within normal limits, you use the same words for that child's injuries, as you would for the injuries that child inflicts. When your monkey falls and hurts his knee, flood him with words that describe that pain and really demonstrate empathy for his pain.

"Oh Buddy look at your poor knee! You skinned it pretty badly. Does that hurt? It looks very sore. I am sorry that you got hurt, buddy. That is no fun! Lets see if mommy can make it better! Can I give kisses? Do you want an ice pack? We have to be careful not to hurt ourselves. I hope that you feel better soon" etc...

We were told to use a consistant method of boo-boo care. For example, get a boo-boo bunny or a fun ice pack (we have a princess gel one and a Cars one, from target). When anyone gets hurt, grab the ice pack. Uses kisses and hugs to heal wounds, for all the kids. Tell your hurt monkey how sorry you are that they were hurt. When someone hurts someone else, work on the same response: Offender gets the ice pack, offender gives kisses, offender offers an apology. They keep drilling into my head: Routine, routine, routine. Act as you want them to behave. Model the appropriate response.

After the boo-boo has been cared for, explain to offender how they hurt the victim. Tell the offender that it makes you sad to see someone hurt and that you are so glad that he apologized because you know what a kind heart your monkey has. I am continually told that positive reponses go so much further than negative ones.

I do this with Kaeleb, and it makes no difference. He doesn't feel pain, and he doesn't understand me. That makes for one very large hurdle to scale. But, I stick with it. Cause that's the only trick I've got. I know it takes times to make it stick, even for the brightest child. As you know, it takes consistance. This advice comes from a well respected behaviorist in our community, and I am believing that she knows her stuff. (Lord help me if she doesn't!!! LOL!)

I hope this helps. Parenting is a tough job and every child is different. Let me know how it works for you if you chose to use this method. I would love to hear a success story!!