What I have found is the same as what Cathi learned as a child: If you include Hunter naturally as a part of your family, your children will also include him. As difficult as it was for me to address this issue, my children have absolutely no problem with it at all. When asked if they are twins, they routinely say, "No." Or, they say, "No, we're triplets." Then, when asked where the third one is, they just say, "She lives with God, and her name is Carina." It seems so simple, really, but it has been a long hard road for me.

When asked how many children I have, I always laugh and tell people that it depends upon how we count them. From there, I point out that I've had two litters, and usually just point to my two little ones and say, "These are the two living at home right now." It sidesteps the questions entirely.

Good luck to you. I know how very hard all of this is. Frankly, I came on today because I have been lower than a snake's belly, and feeling so very, very bad. It really helped me to see that I have kept walking through this horrible experience and that things do get better and pretty soon you are even able to address those questions that just seemed impossible before. I promise you that this will happen for you, too.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.