Pixelpusher,

Having those thoughts is natural but be careful where they are focused. It is one thing to be upset at the stress of the situation you are in: overworked, poor studying environment, messy house, three new mouths to feed on the way, and in-laws that are making matters worse. It is not good to direct that stress at your DW and become upset that she can't manage the house. As stressed as you are, it is still likely less than her stress. Maybe not mentally just yet, but surely physically.

I suggest you spend a half day reorganizing your house to put it into hibernation mode. Take all of the things that are not going to be used for the next year - pregnancy and the first few months of parenting - and pack them up in labeled boxes. Act like you are moving into a temporary vacation home. With what is left, reorganize everything that you will still be using with an emphasis on maximum efficiency. Things like dishes and commonly used food items can be put where they are easiest to obtain and return. (example, for whatever reason we used to put the coffee with our spices on the top shelf of a cabinet far from the stove. Now we have a spot for the coffee just to the left of the stove since we use it several times a day, unlike spices which are used a few times a week.) Put cleaning materials close to where messes are made. Arrange furniture to create uncluttered open space.

Also, arrange DW's BR area to enable her to get everything she needs without moving much. Put a small fridge and microwave within six feet of her bed. Place a bookshelf and moveable table/cart close by. Make the entire setup just a few feet from the bathroom. If your DW is like mine, this could produce a strange effect. She will not have to move much to get everything she need and may want to move around the house to do non-essential things. My DW would have me bring the laundry to a couch and she would fold it all in our living room. When she really felt energized she would use a grabber and pick up things off the floor.

Lastly, don't forget that you are not the first one to do this. My DW's triplet pregnancy began when our daughter was almost six and our first son was just six months. It was very stressful to have her go on BR when we had a baby just starting to crawl, a daughter about to start 1st grade at a school thirty miles away, a move to a messy farm with several acres to take care of just months away, a high pressure job as a non-profit executive, and everyone we knew telling us they didn't know how we would handle it. Yet, here we are just a year later and doing just fine.

____
David

David