Long ago, back when my kids were 2, we put Meredith in a separate classroom from the other 2. This was for maybe 6 weeks (we had just moved here, and were living in a 700 sq ft apt, and so they went to full-time daycare until the school year started). M was completely traumatized by this. To this day, she is constantly "taking roll" and gets nervous when one of her siblings isn't in eyesight.

This year, we put Camille (who depends on the other 2 to answer for her even when she knows the answer) in a separate AWANA classroom. This is just one evening a week, and they are together maybe 50% of the time and in their indiv classrooms 50% of the time. (Camille NEEDS to be separated - she CAN do a lot of things, but finds it much easier to get a sibling to do it all for her. We thought this would be a good chance for her to gain a little self-confidence.)

It has totally thrown M for a loop. They have been doing this since Sept, and I kept thinking she would get used to it. And it has just gotten worse and worse.

It has turned into real anxiety for M. She cries at the drop of a hat (not just on AWANA days - every day). She panics about going to school (even though she loves it and is always very happy coming home). She is constantly twisting her hair (her nervous twitch) and questioning me about the schedule. She is suddenly afraid of the dark and doesn't want to go to bed. She won't go upstairs if everyone else is downstairs and vice versa because "it's too scary". She won't dance because she is embarrassed. She won't attempt anything that she isn't 100% sure she can do. She has become very very dependent on the routine and changes rock her world. Altogether my happy-go-lucky kid has become extremely anxious.

I am trying to figure out how to help her deal with this. They will be in the same school classroom next year, with only 16 total kids in the class.

I am an idiot for blindly buying into the "always separate multiples" thing, and doing it WAAAY too early. I clearly underestimated the importance of the triplet bond and the emotional trauma of separating them so early.

This is my lives-to-please child - I don't think she is manipulating me. Also, she is my doesn't-like-affection and needs-personal-space kid, so the extra snuggling I was trying just irritates her!

I have tried talking it through with her, and we just aren't getting anywhere. Her communication skills are a little delayed, and I just don't think she is able to articulate what she needs to feel better.

Any thoughts on how to help her with this?

ETA - both her PT & her OT have commented on it, and the OT even suggested that it might be time for a psych eval.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06