I just wanted to say that there seems to be a strong division due to the breast feeding post. I think that it is there to help those who chose to bf but not offend those of us who did not have success or even try. I truly don't think the post was put up as way of making anyone feel inferior. I usually don't post a lot and stay out of the drama but I felt the need this time. The support offered here is invaluable and this is a subject that no one should fear posting their opinion/experience on, pro or con. It is too important. It appears to me that it has created more division in this group and that we cannot afford.

There have been so many controversies recently and people feeling as if they can not offer a view for fear of being slammed by a more "dominant" member or if the view offered does not reflect the "majority" then why risk it. I hate this! I hope that we are all treating each other with respect and sometimes offering a differnet perspective. No one should be judged for offering their .02 as long as it is done with respect and with good intentions.

Let's get back on track and help each other as this site intended. There are all kinds of new mom's or mom's to be that should not be scared off or afraid to ask (nor should any of the lurkers and vetrans)!!!

Kim, Mom to
Logan Kenneth "I wish I were an only child"
Erin Louise "I love my brothers!"
Connor Andrew "I've gotta keep moving"
12/12/02 33w5d

Kim, Mom to
Logan Kenneth - Our future bull rider
Erin Louise -Our future ballerina/cowgirl
Connor Andrew - Our future artist

Since I did my part in the drama, I would like to chime in and agree that it doesn't have to be a dividing issue. I have no problem AT ALL with pro-breastfeeding posts, and I think that the support is necessary. I will say again that I think a b/f board would be GREAT, since many want to b/f and need some help along the way, and there are many of us who have experienced the joys and challenges of b/f.

For my part, I'll try not to let people rub me the wrong way. I think I'll be better off if I go back to not checking in here anyway, and just sticking to my wonderfully awesome e-mail group that I recieve TONS of support from.

Paula

Paula P-F

I agree especially since the La Leche League has this on their website:

quote]Remember the big picture. The reason we help mothers who want to breastfeed is because it helps them to have a healthy, happy relationship with their baby. "Breastfeeding is not a guarantee of good mothering, and formula feeding does not rule it out." ( The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, p. 15)

At first glance some might be offended by the "helps them to have a healthy happy relationship comment" but you have to take it in context with the rest of the statement. The women they help are ASKING for help because thats the relationship they decided was best for them.

I envy women who can breastfeed for a variety of reasons. Its not that I think I am inferior as a mother, but I am jealous that their circumstances permit them to do what I could only do for my first child, but not the subsequent ones. I admire ALL mothers, especially HOM mom's, who manage to balance every aspect of their life against their desire to provide the best possible upbringing for their children, including choice of feeding, working, homeschooling, etc.

So to those that breastfeed.... I am envious! To those that don't I completely understand and think you made the right choice for you!

What I don't understand and do think is wrong is the discouragement that some get when they want to at least try! Every single mom should be encouraged to try it. If it doesn't work for them, at least they tried, but by discouraging them, it prevents many from trying! This is especially wrong if it comes from professionals that we trust for their advice! I didn't breastfeed my triplets, except some EBM, but you betcha I refer virtually every triplet mom that I come across on other boards to come here and talk to the moms that have done it successfully!

MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

Kim, very well said. I am very new to this board and gave my opinion on a recent post and well let's just say the response I received kind of shocked me. I never meant for it to cause such a huge discussion but I thought a lot about it and I for one should have been more explanatory with my reply. Of course, I overreacted and basically said that I was leaving the board and then slept on it. In a nutshell - everything was blown out of proportion by both ends because we did not read the replies thoroughly.

I have now made a decision to be very conscious when responding because words can often be misconstrued rather than speaking face to face. Expressions can offer a lot of explanation.

I regret what happened and I certainly do not want to feel that way again. So with that thought, I read carefully, I think carefully, and I react carefully for the sake of all of us. I know I need the support and controversy just brings in bad vibes which we do not need.

Beatrice, mother to:
Aidan James (7/28/03-8:41pm)
Connor Michael(7/28/03-8:43pm)
Fiona Rose(7/28/03-8:44pm)

Bea and Mike
Parents to BBG (3 years)

LOVE is a wonderful thing!

I used to post here often, but just don't have the time anymore. I think the issues stems far greater than who b/f and who didn't. If we need a separate board to post information about b/f so that we do not hurt non b/f mothers. Then we would need a board for just about every subject.

Should we have a board for milestones only so that parents of special needs children, don't have to be hurt when the read that a baby 1 year younger than theirs is doing more than their disabled child?

Should we have a potty training board, so another mother doesn't feel inferior when she reads that someone's 2 yr. old triplets are potty trained, and she's struggling to train her 4 yr olds.

Should people not be allowed to say how far their carried their babies in case they hurt someone's feelings who didn't make it as far as them?


If you were comfortable with your choice weather is be b/f or f/f then you shouldn't have an issue with someone posting helpful information that may help other parents.

Karyn

I think a b/f forum would be beneficial because it has been stated numerous times in the past week that women struggled with b/f but didn't feel like they could ask in this forum. I find that sad. I would find it sad if people felt like they couldn't ask about potty training too, but breastfeeding seems to be a topic that needs more attention than others, or at least that is how it appears to me. I don't think it would have to lead to a forum for every single topic.

Just my .02 and reasoning.

Paula

Paula P-F

I guess I am not sure where I fall in the breast/bottle discussion. My son never took to the breast, he had a terrible time learning to suck, and ate a lot more than I was able to supply. Needless to say, he was bottle-fed. I tried to bf him simply because I wanted to. I did not feel "obligated" to try, and I do not feel like a bad mother because it did not work. Period. I supplemented both of my daughters with formula, but one day one of my girls decided she only wanted the breast, so that's all she got. My other daughter would take anything, so she got bf'd or bottle-fed depending on what was easiest for me at that particular feeding. My fourth child was nursed exclusively simply because I wanted to do it and was able to do it. It was easier to stick him on my chest than to make a bottle. No guilt, no obligation, just simply that is what I wanted to do because that is what worked best for my family. None of these choices make me a better or worse mom. All of these choices made me a happy mom. Does that make sense?

I have to agree with Kim. If you have made a choice of your own free will and are happy with your decision (whatever it is), don't let the opinions of a bunch of strangers, or even family or friends, bother you. Also, I think we are all (meaning mothers in general) a little sensitive to anything that could be construed as criticism. Not every disagreement is a criticism or condemnation...it is simply a difference of opinion with a stranger and should be taken as such. Life is too short to worry about whether or not a complete stranger halfway across the country thinks we are doing the right thing in rearing our children.