I have to let this go somewhere and unfortunately for you all this is it. I am miserable and exhausted. My ex is not taking the kids because he has no electricity and no full time job to pay his bills. What he pays me barely allows us to survive. The internet will be cut this week, I have no phone. I was in the middle of job hunting in order to help me get out of this financial mess and now no phone in case someone calls. I barely have enough food in the house to make it. I have to have the girls potty trained by Aug. 21 for 3 year old daycare and it is not working. It will cost me over $800 a month in childcare which takes up at least half my salary. I get no help for daycare from the ex because he will only work part-time at 41 years of age. It has been about a month straight with no break at all 24/7. I have put myself last for everything including going without eating for the day. I have cried all day over my situation. I can't get a job until school starts for the girls so I have someone to watch them. At the very bottom of the list I am incredibly lonely. I can't get out to visit friends because it takes gas money. My house is a disaster and today when I was trying to shower the girls got in the food cabinet and ate all the pretzels, crackers and left over birthday cake. No snacks for anyone now. I long for the days when I had someone to care about me and love me. Would I go back to the jerk? No way. I am at my wits end and don't no how long things will last this way. Not looking for sympathy, just release. It's hard to hide this from friends and family. I have very little family to begin with and the friends are dwindling. I imagine it's because I can't do anything for anyone or visit with anyone. I am stuck in my house day after day with no end in site. The fertility clinics should be held responsible for not giving us enough information about what multiples will do to a family. I love my children. But this is all taking such a toll on the whole family. My 6 year old is miserable because I can't even call her friends to have them over to visit.

Thanks for listening.


a worried, terrified mom on how this will work out
MOM to a 6 year old and 3 year old triplets-all girls

I'm so glad to hear you've gotten some relief from your church. Kudos to you for applying for food stamps. I know it's probably really hard to level your pride, but that kind of assistance is made for people like you, who end up in a crappy situation, but who aren't so lazy that they want to milk the system forever.

Also, about your daycare...look into the Department of Social Services website. In Louisiana, they will pay for ANY class-A child care of your choice so that you can either work or go to school. I come from a small upper-middle class family, but we are all really distant with the exception of my sister. I know when my boys are born, I am going to have to level my pride eventually and get some government assistance until I can earn a degree and get a high paying job. It's hard to stomach especially since I am a diehard conservative, but I keep telling myself "Pride isn't going to keep a roof over our heads or put food on the table."

God didn't bring you this far to drop you on your butt. He is there for you, your safety net.

Hope this helps.

Jenny
16 weeks 2 days
spontaneous triplet BOYS!!!