Hello everyone! My girls just turned a year old this month and I have an opportunity to go back into the workforce. Financially this really is necessary and for me I think it is best. I LOVE my girls so very much, but I don't think I was meant to be a SAHM. I hope that doesn't sound selfish. My question is is it possible and will I just be adding more stress to an already stressful situation. I would have to leave my house at 6:15 am to be at work by 7:00, but I get off at 4:00. This is a five day a week job also. I have two women who will split the hours (so one won't get burned out working 5 days). My husband thinks it's an awful idea, but he doesn't stay at home 24/7. But we need the money and I need some kind of escape from the madness. If anyone can give me advice, PLEASE!!!!


Allison

Allison,

I went back to work when my boys were 4 months old. I did not have a choice and it sounds like your schedule will be like mine is. I work from 7-4 and I love it. I still get home in time to handle the nightly routine. It is very difficult to manage home and work but it can be done. I think once you get the routine down your DH will see it can be done.

Kristi Knecht
Charlie, Cameron, & Nicholas -- 9/19/02 29w 5d

Kristi Knecht
Charlie, Cameron, & Nicholas -- 9/19/02 29w 5d

Hi Allison. I did med school when the babies were 6w-15months and then internship after that, so I worked horrific hours and it has been a serious struggle. My husband stayed home for 2.5 years, but was doing grad school stuff and that was difficult. I think 7-4 sounds like a great schedule and you have weekends off to regroup, organize and do family things.

I think some people deal better with being home all day than others. While my DH did things differently than I would have and may have been less proactive in some ways, he handled it emotionally way better than I would have and I am grateful he could do it. We now have an au pair and that is wonderful. It is more difficult with both of us working, harder to keep up with laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping and cooking, but we have managed it. If you are committed to working and will be doing something you like, I think you should try it. You can always stop if it doesn't work out. Having reliable help you can trust is crucial to your peace of mind. I never had to worry with Dh home I really needed to trust our au pairs and that is difficult at first.

Good luck.

jill with Claire, Nicholas and Jack 1/22/01

Jill, with Claire, Jack and Nicholas, 1/22/01

Allison:

I commute 65 miles each way for work four days per week. I leave home at 6:00 a.m., begin work by 7:15, leave work by 4:00 and am home by 5:15. Although my commute is long the traffic isn't very heavy. I have enjoyed the "me" time to think during the drive. We have a nanny and a weekly housekeeper, both of whom really lighten the load.

Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)

Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)

Hi Allison,
The grass is definitely always greener somewhere else. I work FT and then some, pretty auful hours at times, and at those moments I LONG to be a SAHM. Then, if I have a few consecutive days off alone w/ the kids, I CAN'T WAIT to get back to the office!!! }> A happy medium shouldn't be too much to ask!!

I went back to work when my kiddos were almost 4 mos. I won't kid you. A stressful job and a stressful home life do a number on you, and did a real number on my marriage, but I had no choice financially. I think the perfect solution is pretty close to what you're looking at--a reasonable work schedule with predictable hours, but if I had my choice, I'd prefer working 4 days (who wouldn't?!).

I think it's really important that if you need to do this, and financially it will help your family (child care can be outrageously expensive. I also have an au pair and love the program.), you and your dh will have to discuss sharing the home front responsibilities. Lots of women on this board seem to handle a job and ALL of the childcare and home care responsibilities, which hardly seems reasonable, and is bound to lead to resentment and arguments. I think that's too much, and an up front discussion on fair work distribution would be a good idea...
Just my opinion, from someone who's been there and is doing that!! Good luck w/ your decision and the new job, if that's what you choose!
Laura, mom of ggb's 7/99

I have to brag and at eh same time give thanks for my career as an RN... I went back to work when the trio were 4mo and my family had to push me out the door but I am so glad I did...now mind you I have noone coming to help when I'm gone, my dh stays home for the 2 days a week that I work. And while he likes to think he does as much as I do...well, thats another topic.

I have the privledge of working every Wed and Sat 6-430...home a couple of days, then out to work. Home a couple more, then off to work. I have the best of both worlds. When I'm at work, everyone wants to talk about the babies which makes me miss being at home, then I come home and I'm a better mom for being gone.

So tell your dh that while being gone may not meet HIS expectations, it will be helping $$-wise and may make you both better parents in the long run (just remember that no one ever went to their death bed thinking they wished they had spent more time at work...) Good luck...JM

Allison,

If you are interested we have a group for Working Moms of Multiples, feel free to join us. There are currently 27 members and we are Moms from all different backgrounds w/children of varying ages. You should be able to get some good advice from Moms with working expereince.

Working Moms of Multiples - Join our On-Line Group:
http://www.msnusers.com/WorkingMomsofMultiples





~Dionne
Mommy to Jessica, Alexa & William 02/20/02 31w6d

Working Moms of Multiples - Join our On-Line Group:
http://www.msnusers.com/WorkingMomsofMultiples

~Dionne
Mommy to Jessica, Alexa & William 02/20/02 31w6d

Allison,

I'm a full time working mom of 5 kids including triplets. I have not checked this forum in a while, but by fate, I logged in this moring. At times I would love to be a SAHM, but I chose to continue to work, as financially I had to. I enjoy my job and that helps. At work I talk to adults which really helps me deal with the kids in the evenings and weekends. I rarely go out in the evenings since I want to spend every possible moments with the kids. We currently have an excellent nanny (live-out) and it works out great. At times it has not been easy, but all in all, the kids get quality care during the day, and I miss them so much, that I enjoy being with them in the evenings. If you have a job that you will enjoy, and good childcare arrangements, it can work out to be a great situation. For me being a SAHM would be rough as I love to socialize and get out. I give crdit to all the SAHM's since that is not an easy job. Working gives me that freedom, and I get paid for my time away from the house. Getting out gives me a clear mind to focus on the kids when I am home. The biggest struggle is getting all those personal things done. Many things in our lives and arond the house have slipped, but I know I will someday catch up on all that. The kids are only young once. Our trio are now 3 1/2 and they are starting to play on their own, so we have been able to start on some of those household projects that have been put off for a few years.

All in all, you can work full time with multiples. It can be hard at time but the rewards are also high. Best of luck, and feel free to e-mail me with any questions.

Joan
super mom of 5 including identical BB and G.