Ok, here's the deal. My oldest daughter attends 1st grade at a Catholic school. It is her third year there. Never any problems. She attends school all the time, rarely misses a day, always has her homework and we attend any afterschool activity we can, i.e. PTO meetings etc. Basically my point is the school knows me and how much I value the importance of school.

At the end of August, I enrolled my triplets there in the three year old program. And things are going horribly. They allowed the girls to attend for free while I have been job hunting (single parent here). I have been called almost everyday with an update that someone is fussy or someone didn't nap or someone accidentily soiled their underwear. I have been asked to pick up a child because "she seemed out of sorts." One daughter has had diarrhea that we have had a hard time getting a handle on and the school has run nuts with it. I have been called because she has had diarrhea and would I come pick her up, oh and while I am at it would I take the other two home too in case they are sick. This has happened three times. Because one doesn't feel well they expect me to take the other two. Mind you they don't ask me to take the 1st grader home, just the triplets. I got a call yesterday because one would not go potty and cried on the toilet because they kept making her sit there and she wouldn't go. So the teacher told me to call the ped. and ask for antibiotics because obviously she had a UTI. I finally complained on Monday when they called again for me to pick up all three and then I got a letter handed to me yesterday that said if I didn't get help from the state to pay for tuition the children were being kicked out. I got fired from the first job I had because the school kept calling me and now I start a new one on Monday, a really good job, and if the state doesn't sign a childcare help contract with me at my appt. tomorrow I have no childcare to start my new job. The school was NEVER like this with my oldest and only with my triplets. Has anyone else had this problem with some sort of negative bias towards their triplets in school. They keep telling me to get the kids' dad to help only he is really out of the picture. I am so frustrated and worried. I am finally getting things together so that I am not struggling (per a previous post) and the school is giving me fits. Mind you this is a Catholic school in the parish that I belong to. I guess I am venting and wondering what you all think of the situation. Do you think it is fair of them to make me take all three when one is sick and not take the 1st grader too? Any input or suggestions would be great.

Kristina
MOM to Megan 6, Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 3

My trio aren't preschool age yet, but I would suggest that you go to the principal and the head priest, if there is one and tell them your feelings.

PaulaB
ggb @ 29 1/2 weeks

them asking you to take all three when one is sick is ridiculous. I was laughing to myself about this the other day wondering if I wouldn't just keep both of my boys home if one was sick...

I would speak with the principal directly - you could ask to have the priest there as well (make sure it's the priest that works closest with the school) but I'd start first with the principal.

I do know that at my boys preschool (also Catholic) children are not allowed to attend if they are not completly potty trained and it's my understanding that they will not receive help with the bathroom - wiping etc. I don't know what happens if there is a situation with diarrhea - my guess is they would help and I would be called immediately - I can't imagine them asking me to take both unless there was a reasonable fear of both having the "bug". You may know, for a fact, that her diarrhea is caused by something else and not going to affect her siblings.

Why did they put your dd on the toilet for so long yesterday? Why do they think she has a UTI? Whose name signed the letter you received yesterday? I would get your ducks lined up (so to speak) and as to meet with the principal as soon as possible. Make sure that he/she knows how much you appreciate them helping you but that you are confused by the communication and treatment you've received regarding your children (I would use their names and not refer to them as triplets in the conversation - that way you are forcing their individual identities). Ask what can be done to continue to accomodate your transition into this new job. I would also have a plan as to when you might be able to pay some tuition - you should also ask about their scholorship program.

I know that our archdioscese (sp) has tuition programs. When I was a child it was handled on a school by school basis. I think now it's more like a generic financial aid type form that is reivewed by a board separate from the school but I'd be stunned if there isn't such a program in place. This is the year of the Catholic School (in Colorado at least) and I know a big part of that is making a Catholic education available to anyone that wants in regardless of their financial position.

Good luck, I hope that you are able to make some headway into this so that you can start your job Monday knowing your kids are taken care of.

Marie

I don't have any specific advice, except to say that I don't think I'd want to keep my kids in a daycare where they FORCE them to sit on the potty. Maybe she didn't need to go!

Also, it is standard practice in a daycare/preschool facility to refuse to care for a child with diarrhea. I know that is harsh, but I think it is pretty standard practice. To ask you to pick up your OTHER two children "just in case" seems out of line to me.

I wish you all the luck in your childcare struggles. I know how hard it is with two parents at home to cover all the bases and when you are a single parent, that is even more difficult.

BBB born 7/26/04 at 35 weeks

I agree that you need to take your concerns to the principle. If you can recall, you should make up a list, day-by-day, of when you were called, why you were called, who called you, which child it involved, blah blah blah. When it's all there in black & white, it will be very evident if you are being harassed or not. I think you are well within your rights to demand an explanation why they forced your daughter to sit on the potty for so long, and I think you should insist they tell you why they think she has a UTI (are they doctors or something?). It also seems fair for you to question why they didn't treat your older DD this way. And personally, I would be upset that they're bringing up the girls' father as a means to help. That's your private life, and I'm sure that if that was a possibility it would already be happening.

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that are my children has made me Real.

First, congratulations on your new job. You go girl!! Second, not terribly Christian of them to be giving you such a hard time. My mom was a single mom of 5 and (decades ago) needed a bit of help from our Catholic school too. I guess they felt they were already doing us a huge favor letting us stay there, but we paid the price in other ways. I'm a single mom too now, and it is hard to convey that I need the school to recognize that I'm juggling a lot on my own.

I think it's good advice to talk to the principal, and if that is not fruitful, involve the pastor. Explain that you are trying hard to get things straightened out, thank them (ever so politely) for their advice about your husband, and continue to drop them off at school 'til it's all resolved.
Good luck!
Laura, mom of ggb's 7/99