Please help me. Yesterday the fertility clinic called to say that we owed them money for our stored embryos. When we did IVF they told us that we only had 3 viable embryos and we used all 3. End of story or so I thought. We finally talked to someone who wasn't in billing and they told us that we have one embryo stored. They said that an embryo that isn't viable on day 3 may become viable after. I am very upset that we didn't know about this. They said they sent a letter. Now they are trying to collect money from us. Well I am very upset. The thought that I could maybe have another child is running through my mind. I know that our insurance will no longer cover this since we moved from a state that required fertility to be covered to one that doesn't. My husband is adamant that we don't have anymore kids, he says anyone with more that 2 is stupid. (I hope not to offend anyone just trying to make you understand my position) I told him that we have 3 so we are stupid too. He said that was killing a baby but this isn't, if we donate or destroy the embryo. I am so confused, yesterday my life was fine and now the chance of having another child I can't say what I am feeling. I hope that I have made some kind of sense here. I feel like my thoughts are all over and I am being scatter-brained.
What would you do? Any feelings on the matter? Sorry this is so long.

Kristen

Olivia, Jarod, Ethan

I'm sorry that you have been taken by suprise with these circumstances. I'd still think that your original paperwork would indicate how many embryo's you actually had, mine did, and there was a daily progress sheet that listed each one, and its grade for the day.

However, if it is yours, you do need to make a decision as to what to do with it.

Is there anyway that you can talk your husband into an un-medicated cycle, where they just thaw it and transfer it? If the embryo were to implant under those circumstances it would really have to fall under the "meant to be" category. This might help with the moral dilemma that you are in, you get to know that you gave the embryo the chance rather than destroying it and the chances for implantation might be so low that it will appease your husband as well. But of course a pregnancy could, despite the odds, still occur. But you might be able to swing your husbands decision based on those odds.

MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

Kristen,

What a predicament! We had 14 embroyees to start with but by transfer only 4 were viable and one didn't look too hot so they only transferred the 3 good ones. The last one ended up not making it. It took the decision out of our hands, which was good because we were truly worried about how to make that decision.

I think the above post is a good alternative, if you can get your husband to go along with it. I thought another good alternative might be to find a family you know who is going through fertility problems and donate to them, embryo adoption was a topic on 60 minutes last Sunday I beleive.

I don't have any clear cut answers for you just wanted you to know you had some support. This is a tough choice that many families here have had to make. Good luck.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

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