I have an embarrassing question related to abstaining from sex. My Peri said absolutely no sexual activity at all. By the way, I am 17 weeks. I went in for my O.B. appointment today, and he told me that he knows that my Peri told me about all the "Avoids", but that they are not based in science. He told me that abstaining from sex is hard on a marriage, and that if I felt that it was okay, he okayed it. He added that before ejaculation, withdrawal is important because of the postglandins(spelling?) in the seminal fluid. Everything looks good with my triplet girls so far in anatomy, etc. They are in three separate sacs with separate placentas, and my cervix is at 4.4cm. for 17 weeks, which I was told so far is following a normal singleton pregnancy but should expect this to change soon. Basically, I was just wondering what people have done related to sex, if you don't mind me asking? I mean do people expecting triplets have it or not and up to what week in the pregnancy? I realize that everyone and every circumstance is different, but I am feeling a little confused and worried as to what to do. My Peri says that orgasm contracts the uterus and to stay away from all sexual activity because of this, but my O.B. says that abstaining from sex does not determine how long one will carry babies. Any responses would be greatly appreciate

We abstained from intercourse immediately after our Peri advised. Trust me, being in the hospital for 11 weeks with pre term labor was a lot harder on our marriage than the lack of sex.

Jane, mother of...
Sarah- Of course I'm the princess 8/24/01
Joshua- Our little peanut
Matthew- Mama's boy
Paul- I'll just sit here and clap
3/3/03- 34w 6d

Jane, Proud Mother of...
The Princess 8/24/01
"Buzz", Animal Boy, and "Nemo", 3/3/03- 34w 6d

I think you will find that all of us were told different things. Managing a triplet pregnancy isn't something that has real rules, at least not a cohesive set of them. When I was pregnant with my girls I heard so many conflicting things about just about everything. I finally figured that if there was a safer route to go, that was the one for me. So while there are lots of different viewpoints on the sex issue, I would say that the safest way is to avoid it. I do believe that my doc told me no orgasm also. But then, there are lots of ways to skin a cat

One thing to consider is using condoms...maybe ask your doc about that. And avoid orgasm ?

(Wow, reading that it sounds awful! But then again...its only for a little while, right? Then you get to join the ranks of those of us that don't have TIME for sex!)

Jodi
Wife to Greg
Mama to Cameron(7) Alexis(4) Rylee(2)
Stepmama to Ashleigh(8) and Jeremy(2)
And mama to Victoria Rayne, Jenna Louise, and Brittany Lynn born 03-20-03 at 25 weeks 4 days
WOW MY GIRLS ARE A YEAR OLD!

If you go ahead & have sex and nothing happens, then everyone's a winner.

If you go ahead & have sex and experience a pregnancy complication, like bleeding, then you are scared and will worry the rest of your pregnancy. Neither you or your husband will have happy thoughts.

If you go ahead & have sex and something horrible happens, like you have pre-term labor, experience cervical changes/incompetent cervix, or Lord forbid, the worst happens (let's not name it, we know what I'm referring ti), then you will probably never forgive yourself, your OB, or your husband (if he's the one pushing for sex).

Trouble is, you don't know which category you're going to fall in to until the pregnancy is over.

Tulip & The Three Amigos
Born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!
Aimee, Let's bump heads!
Edward, Rollin' Rollin' Rollin', Got to keep on rollin'!
Hope, Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!
http://www.tripletconnection.org/dcforum/forum1/14349.html

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that are my children has made me Real.

I have to say I agree. My OB made a statement when I was first diagnosed that really hit home with me. He was telling me about his wife's triplet pregnancy and her bedrest (getting me mentally prepared for the possibility). He said, 'Why do anything extra that if something were to happen you would always wonder if you could have prevented it and blame yourself.' I tried to use that through my pregnancy. If it could cause a problem would I ever forgive myself for doing it? If not then I didn't do it. I hated missing brother in laws HS graduation, a family friend’s funeral, and DH friends wedding. But had I gone against Dr. order and gone into labor I never would have forgiven myself(I was on bedrest at the time). The same with sex (but I also had a cerclage at 14 weeks and put on pelvic rest then). Now that doesn't mean we were without intimacy the whole pregnancy. There are many other things you both can enjoy that don't involve penetration or female orgasm.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

Can I just piggy back on this topic with a question of clarification.

*Ideally* no orgasm for the man or the woman, or both?
Do we think this means no orgasm for the woman outside of sex as well?

Just confused a bit...

Jami

mom to fairy-girl & spontaneous b/g/g triplets born at 36 weeks.

It was my understanding that ideal no ejaculation inside the female, also no orgasm for the female. This includes orgasm from manual stimulation or masturbation. Something about the contractions of the abdominal muscles and uterus has the possibility of bringing on preterm contractions. Now we had a thread not long ago about women who achieve orgasm in their sleep. Obviously that can't be avoided. But you shouldn't work to achieve orgasm and up the risks.

Now this was told to me because I had a cerclage and early funneling. I don't know if they feel the same with women who have no cervical changes or how early in the pregnancy you should stop if at all. Would be a good question for your next apt.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

I was told no orgasm for me. We have been put on the no sex thing since we concieved. I had a cerclage and he reminded us again that no sex especially now with the cerclage. Apparently, the chemicals in a WOMENS orgasm can cause preterm labor. I know that the same is true for sperm.(SO no sperm inside you) It sucks really bad, but we thought that it really wasn't worth the risk. YES, I AM DYING! Best of luck!
Meli

Meli
Elijah-4yrs. old
Spontaneous BBB triplets born at 34.3 weeks 6-8-04
Adam- 5lbs 11 oz. 18.5 inches
Ryan- 4lbs 6 oz. 17.75 inches
Joshua- 5lbs 17 inches

My opinion is that since your Peri is the one trained for high-risk pregnancies, his/her opinion is the one that matters. In my case at least, my Peri made all the calls, and my OB was there also monitoring the pregnancy since he was going to be the one delivering.

My two cents. The one and only time we had sex after I got pregnant (about 12 weeks) I had a major bleed. To be blunt, it is not worth risking a loss of the pregnancy. If I were you I would listen to the peri.
Debbie, Proud Mom to three miracles 34 weeks 1 day (we are 22 months)!

About two minutes after orgasam I began contracting. I lost my babies to preterm labor 17 hours later. Its not worth the risk.

Lynn. Mom to Annabel Grace, Abigail Lynn and Aaron Marc. Our three angels in heaven. Born 9/1/03 at 18 wks gestation.

My Peri said I probably would have no interest but if I did that it was not a problem. I also had no bedrest, and worked until I was 34 weeks. My boys were born at 36.3 wks. at 6.3,6.3 and 4.13 and came right home with me.

I did worry after sex and it made me think it wasnt worth it because of the worry, but we still did it every week or two. My Dr. told me that 15 years ago they told all triplet moms bedrest at 20 weeks, no sex, no work etc.. and the stats were the same as they were without the precautions. Now, they only advise against activity if you are experiencing problems.

Peggy

We stopped after I had some spotting & a cerclage around the 15th week. We figured it wasn't worth the risk. By stop I mean no penetration and no orgasm for me. I do want to add that although it was rough (probably more on dh than me) I think it added to our marriage, rather than taking away from it. You know that cheezy saying about loving your spouse more than you ever thought you could? Well after knowing the sacrifice (and let's not sugar coat it, it is a sacrifice to them) that he went through for 8 months (including after delivery) to keep me and our babies safe, I really do feel that way. The great part was that after we were able to get "back at it", it was like our honeymoon all over again.
I think Tulip put it well - when you look at what could happen it makes the choice easier. I had to give up seeing The Lion King musical which I had planned before I even got pregnant - boo hoo. But it was well worth it - now I'll get to see the movie 300 million times! And I would never have forgiven myself if I went and something happened.

luvmytrio
Gavin, Garret & Claire
born 8/7/03 at 36w4d

luvmytrio
Gavin, Garret & Claire
born 8/7/03 at 36w4d

At my first Peri appt at 12.5w everything checked out fine and we were told we could continue having sex, with the use of a condom, up to 20w, after that absolutely not. He didn't say anything about me having orgasms up to that point, but I've decided it just isn't worth the risk. Even with sex I make sure it's only shallow penetration...no drilling for oil, if you know what I mean! After 20w I guess we'll just have to figure something else out!

Triplets via DFET
EDD 7/11/04 less 7 wks