The following is MY opinion and how my husband and I made our decision.

I can understand your fears. I was afraid that my babies would not be ok too. We read the statistics too. We also talked to many people that chose this and lost more than 1 or all of their babies. I understand that the point is to give a quality chance at life to 1 or 2 babies we just couldn't imagine losing the whole pregnancy if we made this choice.

This was never an option for us though. We've been together since we were 14 and 15 and they are everything we dreamed of. They are miracles from God. We've been through some very tough things in life and knew God would never give us anything we couldn't handle.

This is a tough decision, I hope you are able to make the right choice for your family.



PS...our babies were born at 34.5 wks with no med issues - they came home on day 6.

*Edited for grammatical errors only.

Congrats on your pregnancy!!

Every peri gives the SR talk. I got one from my peri and my RE. It is your personal choice and they must give you all the bad senarios so that you can make an informed decision. What they don't say is that having SR can greatly put you at risk of losing your entire pregnancy. A triplet pregnancy is not much more risky than a twin pregancy.

There is no way after seeing 3 heartbeats that I could go in for a reduction. I haven't even had my kids yet but I know I have 2 girls and a boy swimming around in my belly. No matter waht the outcome I will love them just the same. Drink lots of water, eat lots of protein, and rest, rest, rest! Read Dr Luke's book.

Kim

http://lilypie.com>

I don't know your personal health issues -- that maybe that may be a deciding factor ... but here's a sniplet of my story.

Age 40, 5'1", 100 lbs -- first pregnancy -- triplets. Selective reduction was advised because of my age/size; we said NO. My baby C would have been "reduced". I went 33.5 weeks -- all healthy and it was the hardest, most challenging thing I've ever done.

Now ... Baby C is my only daughter (I have 2 boys from my triplet pregnancy and a singleton boy). She is a dream. I had lunch with her in kindergarten today and she held my hand the whole time she was eating. She adores me and I adore her. We are sooooo close; ride horses, do photography -- she loves everything I love.

I think GOD slapped me side the head when the selective reduction discussion was happening and whispered into my ear -- NOT ON HER LIFE YOU DON'T. He has given me 4 gifts -- but my daughter is oh-so-special to me. I believe he gave me a special blessing to carry my children to a healthy birth, because I chose to choose life!

Peggi
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 5th Birthday Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80" /></a>

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 5th Birthday

lots of fears, sure. There are still days that I'm in awe that I have triplets. My peri said to us at our first appointment that unless we wanted to discuss SR, he saw no reason for it. I had a text book perfect prgancy, no PTL, no labor at all and had a scheduled c/s at 36w5d. No NICU time and my babies were ready to leave the hosptial before I was. They were each about 5 lbs.

they are now about 9 y/o, no handicaps (unless you consider constant fightng iwth eachother a handicap) and I can't imagine life with out them. are there riks, sure. There are risks in every pregnancy, right?

good luck!

RoseMarie
mom to the Hooligans 12/21/98

My re mentioned it and told me I should speak to a dr who performs reductions but I chose not to. My Maternal Fetal medicine dr mentioned it and when I said it was out of the question, she never mentioned it again. I felt very strongly not to reduce because I could not live with myself. I almost lost my babies several times and was told to terminate my pregnancy at 22 weeks because I was 1 cm dilated and having contractions. Through it all I knew that I would rather deal with God's will than with puposely losing one of my babies.

Stefanie

Mom to BGB
33 weeks 6 days
3/3/07

Hi, first of all congrats!!! I started off with quads, they all were pressuring my husband and I to reduce and we just couldn't even dream of doing it. We felt like God would do what he felt was best and sad to say we lost our D baby 3 months into the pregnancy. I think of the baby all the time but I knew the other 3 made it out strong and so big. You have to do what right for you and your family go with your instinct, where you know you will have no regrets. Good luck in you decision. We made it 31 weeks and 5 days and they stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks.

Holly

My trips are 4 1/2 yrs old. i can not amagin life without my sweet daugher... she was the one they wanted to "reduce".

My pregnancy was high risk due to age, diabetic, fibroids the size of an island and triplets. I went 33 weeks 1 day! All are 100% perfectly sassy little pre-schoolers!

Enjoy the wonderful ride of triplets. You life has been sprinkled with these little blessings... enjoy it all!

Julie
Mom to g,b,b (ETM)
and SUPRISE baby girl (K)

"Even the worst day with my children is better than a good day at work."

Do you have a local triplets & more group? Twins group. There is always someone that you can meet and have locally too. TC is great... find all your support systems!

Best to you!
Julie
Mom to g,b,b (ETM)
and SUPRISE baby girl (K)

"Even the worst day with my children is better than a good day at work."

We were fortunate enough to live in Phoenix when our trio was conceived. We were under the care of Dr. Elliott (aka "The Multiple Guru") and he and his practice made us feel completely at ease from the first visit. He told us his triplet outcomes are nearly identical to his twin outcomes. We followed every instruction to the letter (16 weeks of bedrest was worth it - but NOT EASY) and brought home beautiful, healthy 35 weekers. We cannot imagine life without Libby, Tommy, or Will.

Believe me, I understand your fear and my heart breaks for those who do everything to the letter too and do not have the same outcome we did. The risks are very real, but the possibility of bringing home three healthy babies is very real too.

The best to you in your difficult decision,
Julie
dd, 8
bgb, 3.5

We just had our babies last night...no way in the world would we do anything different. Personally, if our doc would have mentioned selective reduction with just our triplets, I would have walked out the door.

Jake 2 lbs 15 oz
Ben 2 lbs 7.8 oz
Abby 2 lbs 12.2 oz

Every medical person we encountered also mentioned selective reduction to us as well. I would like to take my giant, healthy boys back to them and say "So, which one would have you selected for reduction?" Pretty harsh but I feel strongly about it. I simply adore my boys and wouldn't change a. sinlge. thing. Ever.

BBB - born March 19, 2007 33w6d
Isaiah - 4lb. 14oz.
Eli - 6lb. 12oz.
Luka - 5lb. 4oz.

Georgia - Dec 2002

Oh my, what a difficult time you are now facing. I remember being presented with the scary scenarios by residents at the peri office.

However, when I met the head of the peri department he said reducing from triplets to twins does not mean the same as starting out with twins only. As such, the benefits of reduction from triplets to twins were not statistically convincing. I believe there are a few studies that back up that theory. I remember poring through the medical library at the local hospital.

Have you called Triplet Connection or Mothers of Supertwins (MOST)? They can help you access great information.

Do take care,
Catherine

"

If you can, go see Dr. Wapner at Hannaman Hospital in Philadelphia. He is the best--no doubt. There is no doctor in the country that is better. We went to see him for a CVS and a possible selective reduction. We ended up keeping the triplets and now have 3 healthy, happy babies.

It is an individual decision. Go with your heart on this. There is no wrong answer. My main question was, if we did the selective reduction and something happened to the other two babies, could we forgive ourselves? If we didn't do the selective reduction, and something went wrong, would we be able to live with the decision. We figured we could live with the decision and we would not be able to forgive ourselves. Good luck.

I think that peris and REs feel obligated to give you all the facts and options including SR.

Personally, I just made up my mind that this is situation that I'm in and that I was going to go for it. If I had reduced, I know that I would have had doubts and regrets. I felt like, if the babies didn't make it, I would have to deal with that. If the were disabled, I would have to deal with that. I just wasn't going to make the decision to let one of them go. Not an option.

Stephanie

Mama to Beautiful Quads
30 weeks, 5 days

and ^Angel Baby^ 1/05

Congratulations on your babies!

I found out at 14 weeks and was never given selective reduction as an option.

Most of us here didn't reduce (obviously) so it would be very hard for any of us to encourage you to do so. I hope that you find peace in whatever decision you make, although it sounds like you are leaning toward keeping all three.

Here's hoping for a safe and healthy pregnancy for you and the babies!

PS - Statistics can be helpful with large groups, but they won't tell you what will happen with your particular pregnancy!

Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks

Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I too felt exactly how you feel - that God gave us these little miracles for a purpose, and no matter how negative my doctor was, there was no way I would get rid of one of these babies. I look at my son now and I just can't imagine my life without him, and he would have been the one that would not be with us. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Jo

Liesel, Radek, & Courtney
Born 31 weeks, 1 day
August 28, 2007

Count me in as the statistic. I lost my triplets and subsequently adopted a set of surviving triplets.

When my doctors (RE, OB, Peri) mentioned SR, I shut them down -- didn't even listen. I read posts similar to what you wrote and asked, and I was impressed by the outpouring of positive responses. It didn't occur to me until we lost our babies that the primary reason I had read so many positive responses was that parents who lost their triplets don't frequent the board.

I am not advocating SR. I am not NOT advocating it. Were I to become pregnant with triplets again, would I do SR? I don't know. But I don't think you can make a thoroughly informed decision based solely on responses on this forum. Again, nothing negative about TC -- it has in many ways saved my life and sanity -- but by its nature it does not draw people who have lost triplet pregnancies because triplets (or multiples or babies in general) are too painful to hear about.

My thoughts and support are with you whatever you decide.

PS Healthwise, my surviving trips are incredibly healthy and brilliant -- and it's my subsequent singleton who is experiencing developmental delays (likely sensory integration issues) . Even carrying only one baby gives no guarantee you will escape problems.

Steff
Mom to:

^West Rogers^, ^Keaton Edward^, ^Rebecca Joy^ 1/6/04



Missing their sister ^Maria Jose^ 4/7/04-5/10/04

Up until around week 15, our doctors kept "reminding" us that SR was an option. We briefly thought about it just because we were feeling so overwhelmed, underprepared and scared - but now I can't imagine making any other decision than to carry all three.

It was definitely a long road and our babies are a month old now, so we're going on adrenalin and love at this point without much sleep - but we wouldn't have it any other way.

No problems, babies delivered via scheduled c-section at 35 weeks. They all came home with me and are doing great so far!

Don't let them get you down. Unless there is some specific reason or concern (other than the many general concerns and anxiety most of us went through... - whatever that reason might be - I encourage you to follow your heart....

Jess

Well We made our decision completley based on how we felt...we both don't believe in any Gods or religions...So we ventured into the most challenging pregnancy I have ever experienced...no medical complications at all but just really uncomfortable compared to a singleton pregnancy.

Babies arrived at almost 34 wks. great weight all healthy and doing amazing now at almost 8 months they are alot of work but we could not imagine life without any of them...Myself the decision selfish I simply did not want to deal with the Guilt that would come after a reduction.

whatever your decision is...should be one YOU can live with!

hugs.
Virginia

Hi! Welcome. I was in your position a few years ago. I actually didn't ask here (I don't think I'd found this forum yet). I did do a lot of research and I asked my peri. She basically said that she was required to discuss it with me but didn't recommend it. I asked why since I wasn't sure what to think. She showed me a lot of the research out there from the American Academy of Perinatologists (some of it almost 2 decades old) where they no longer recommend SR from triplets to twins because they simply don't see a significant increase in good outcomes. She said that your chances for a good outcome in the pregnancy aren't truly raised - so what is the point in taking the chance? I also made the mistake of asking how they did the procedure. I won't go into that in an open forum but it made up my mind for good.

My best suggestion is that instead of getting opinions from us, do some research into the medical opinions from respected medical authorities - American Academy of Perinatologists and the American Academy of Gynocologists. Many doctors are biased as well - there is one in NY that is known for bullying his patients into it and actually does more SR's than anyone in the country - in fact NYC does more SR's than anywhere else. But generally when you get published opinions from the academies they are less biased.

Susan
Alison, Anna & Morgan
g/g/g Triplets born 1/25/05
at 32 weeks, 2 days

It was presented as an option for us and we refused. We didn't care about the statistics but believed the babies were God-given (whether put there naturally or by science). We never would have considered it. Looking back we also see our daughter (the only one of 6 kids) who would have been the one taken, and can't imagine life without her.

But we also did look into the statistics. As someone mentioned, reducing to twins does not make it like a natural twin pregnancy. Many peris these days won't even suggest reducing from triplets for that reason.

Since you mentioned God I'll tell you what our thoughts were on that. We believe God is the giver and taker of all life (yep, even the "assisted" ones). I would rather have lost the entire pregnancy than have made the decision to willfully kill one or more of them. I've lost 8 babies in the past so I do not say that at all lightly!

I don't know that it helps to get success stories from here as you don't usually hear the negative ones. There have been members here in the past who reduced TO triplets from more. I think that says a lot.

Either way you go you could end up regretting something. For me, personally, I could have no greater regret than wondering "What if I had let that child live?" Just my 2 cents.

Kari S.

Mom to BBB 21, 18, 14
BBG 9/25/01

Follow your heart, and remember that reduction is not without risks. It seems like you have decided against reduction, which I don't think you'll ever regret!

~Just for anyone else who may be reading this, facing a similar decision, know that in reducing, there is a possibility that you could actually get an infection, go into labor, and lose everything. Just a thought.~

Amy
Mom to:
G 00
B 01
BBB 02

Our doctor was so gloom and doom about a triplet pregnancy, he brought up reduction and of course we said no. A triplet pg is not considered a "win" in the fertility docs world. But it sure has turned out a win for us!

Best of luck to you...a personal decision for all....I will tell you for me personally, the miserable pregnancy, billions of lbs gained, nicu time and now delays in various areas requiring therapy are worth every minute. (except of course when I decided to take away the paci's last week and now I question everything!

Jonib
Abby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!
Rhett turns 10 12/15!

no, I can't get the lily pie to work

I just want to wish you luck with your decision. It is not an easy one. Your feelings are totally normal and justified. I went through the same exact thing (although my peri was not a fan of reductions). My MIL shared some comforting words at the time: Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one. I ended up having a CVS at 11 weeks to see how healthy all the babes were and that helped us decide not to reduce. Today, I am the proud mom of 7-month-old triplets and had no major complications during pregnancy or at birth. Go with your heart and, either way, you can't go wrong.

Jen
Mom to Chloe, Harry, and Mia, b. 2/28/07

We heard the SR talk and decided against...it wasn't even an issue for us. In the end, my triplet pregnancy turned out about as well as one could expect and I have three healthy, beautiful girls. My cousin, however, lost her triplets one at a time between 15 and 25 weeks...she now has two beautiful singleton children, but her triplet pregnancy was a nightmare--I was even afraid to tell her I was pregnant with triplets. Another family friend reduced to her quads to twins, and her twins were still born somewhat early (although no health probs today). She is now pregnant again with a singleton. I don't know that she ever talks about the reduction (I know about it because I was carrying triplets).

Personally, I wouldn't choose SR--ever. But I also had a great outcome. I don't know if you'll get much response from people who reduced, because I am guessing that they do not frequent TRIPLET connection much.

All docs must give the speech...our RE was really into SR, but our peris thought a triplet pregnancy was manageable, although high risk.

HTH

Alice

GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d

I was asked once, and once only if we were interested in SR. That was not an option for us and the topic was never brought up again.

It seems to me that if you are having even the slightest doubts you cannot consider the procedure. Also, as I've suggested to others with the same question go to the Photo Forum and imagine all those families minus one of their children.

There are risks, there are high risks, there are some here that have lost one or more of their triplets - luckily - that is not the norm. Get your head off of the negative stats you've read and focus on what is positive, you are healthy, you have three healthy babies growing in you. Get Dr. Luke's book and focus on the areas of this pregnancy in which you can take control - you can work to eat enough protein, drink enough water, get enough rest.

I suspect that if you make the decision to decline SR you will find that you feel relieved. It sounds as though you are already 90% there.

Good luck to you and contratulations on your babies. Seriously, check out the photo forum.

Marie

Congratulations on your pregnancy. The "talk" is one required of doctors (I think).

I am not one of the terrific pregancy success stories. I found out that I was carryting triplets at 10 weeks. He "mentioned" SR but was not pushing it on us and gave us the negative aspects of it, too. There is always the chance that the one that you reduce would have been the strongest one in the end. You run the risk of losing the entire pregnancy.


I have heard of many people say that they had a horribly embryo and never expected anything out of it. They now have WONDERFUL and healthy kids. So that one must have been pretty good!

My baby C had his water break at 12 weeks. He was an identical twin. If I were to have had SR they would have reduced my fraternal baby. Although he does have some disabilities, you can visit my blog and see what an amazing boy he is.

I am rambling, but I guess my point is that the one that is reduced might have been the healthiest of them. I don't think there is any way of knowing. I am a pro choice person when it come to abortion. When it comes to SR, I think triplet pregnancies have come a long way and that the statistics are wonderful. If I had been pregnant with a much higher number, SR might have been a choice I made. I will never know.

Good luck with your decision. I, too, think that it would be better to read more studies and research done on triplet pregnancies vs. SR before making your decision.

Cathy


Come visit us at http://www.leighaandthetriplets.blogspot.com/

Cari,

From my own research and recent articles, selective abortion is really being pushed on the East Coast and in the larger cities. Where are you from?

I live in Las Vegas and it isn't pushed here at all. There are so many triplet moms here it's almost comical. We all know each other. We almost all have healthy kids. We all hang out together. You almost can't go to the store without running into another triplet mom.

Of course we are biased, but we have all our children and we are proud to be triplet mothers. I think selective abortion is a viable option for some people who couldn't handle three babies due to financial or emotional reasons. It sounds to me like you want all of your babies. From a medical standpoint, if you want all your babies there is no reason for you to reduce. Triplet pregnancies are VERY manageable these days. I've gone into a lot of detail about this on my blog. This includes some of the real statistics and the motivation to reduce in the larger cities and why some REs and peris push, along with the real statistics on miscarriages after selective abortion.

http://fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com/search/label/Selective%20Reduction

I will give you one statistic that no one can argue with. If you reduce your pregnancy, that one baby has a 100 percent chance of being dead.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your pregnancy. May it be long and uneventful!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

My peri was great. Once we told her we weren't comfortable with selective reduction, she said ok let me show you how the numbers can support your decision. She said that with triplets the numbers can really be spun either way and that there is no reason not to feel comfortable with having triplets. The risks of selective reduction are about equal to the risks of carrying triplets. She went on to tell me all the wonderful stories of triplets she delivered. What ever your decision, don't feel pressured by anyone.

Jennifer
GBG 2/20/2007
@29 weeks

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am 13wks3d and we too have had many discussions about reducing our pregnancy. My husband and I really thought hard had many discussions about this but something is always telling us not to do it. We were offered to have a CVS test to determine the chromosomal make-up of the babies and decided to have it done. We received our results earlier this week and all of the babies are chromosomally fine. We are so happy that we chose not to reduce the pregnancy and still have no plans to. It is a very hard decision for anyone to make. I think all Dr.'s go over the risks and complications because they want to make us aware. I hope this is helpful and good luck to you and your family.

Tanya
Mom-To-Be BBB

I can completely relate to you. I posted several weeks ago under similar circumstances. (see previous post: http://www.tripletconnection.org/triplet_forum/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=135&topic_id=292110&mesg_id=292110&listing_type=search)

And here is the update post: http://www.tripletconnection.org/triplet_forum/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=135&topic_id=292563&mesg_id=292563&listing_type=search

This is a very personal decision and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide.

Kathryn

My story:

My RE asked me to consider selective reduction every time I had an appointment. Can't say that DH and I discussed it because we both knew it wasn't for us. We spent a long time trying to get pregnant and couldn't imagine getting rid of one. I looked at this web site and saw all the families with healthy triplets. I also thought that I wouldn't have a problem carrying them - I was in good health, very tall and athletic. I'm not very religous but I knew that this what God or whatever you believe in, had in store for us.
I spent the next 8 months doing everything possible to make sure I delivered healthy babies. I stopped working at 20 weeks. I limited my activities. I saw a nutritionist and followed a high protein diet and drank lots of water. I saw the Dr. every week. We had scares, but I knew in my heart everything would be okay and it was. I delivered at 34 weeks and the babies spent 2 weeks in the NICU to learn how to eat. Now they are healthy 3 month olds. As I type this I'm looking at them napping and can't imagine my life without one of them.

http://lilypie.com>

If you choose to continue with the triplet pregnancy, yes there is a chance that things can go horribly wrong. One or more of your kids could have serious issues or one or more could die.

But if you do SR you could still have kids w/ severe medical issues and you are guaranteed that at least one of your kids will die, if not all.

Would you love your kids any less if they had issues? I doubt it. Is having triplets easy? Even w/ perfectly healthy kids - hell no. There are days that are easier than others but I wouldn't trade being a trip mom for anything! It is truly the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced.

In the early days of my pg I worried about all the what if's and was terrified that my kids might have problems but you have to remain faithful and do all you can to help these babies have a good gestation. Find the best medical care you can, take care of your self. It can be done.

I don't think you'll find one person on here that regrets not doing SR - but I'm not so sure you'd find the same on the other side of the fence.

You are obviously under tremendous strain. I was expecting this discussion and sat through my peri's 40 minute shpeel without comment. My answer went something like this. "I know you have to explain all of this, but I don't make decisions based solely on the risk. Reducing this pregnancy goes against my value system and it wouldn't be right. I can tell you right now the answer is no." He said, "OK, you'll never hear me mention it again," and to his credit, he never did.

Aloha,
Kelli
BBB 6/4/06 @ 29wks 4 days
GG 4/30/09

I totally understand what you are going thru.
Our fertility Dr told us at 6 weeks that we were expecting triplets!
Right away told us to see Dr Wapner (philadelphia) for a possilbe reduction. Scared me to death but right away my opinion was that I would and could not do it. My husband's first concern was me, I am 41 yrs old and he was afraid that so many things could go wrong.
I called the Dr and listened to all of their stats about triplet pregnancies. We did decide to do the CVS test at 11 weeks, mostly to make sure that they were all okay and also find out their sexes.
At 8 1/2 weeks I had bleeding so I saw my regular ob/gyn Dr, who did sonagrams on the three of them and we heard their heartbeats, from that moment on, my husband completely changed his mind about reduction. That is when it was real to him, he said that he could not choose which one to reduce. Mind you, I never considered it, I feel that we are blessed to have these little one and this is what is meant for us. He agrees 100% now.

It is such a personal choice between the two of you and only the two of you can make this choice.

Maria G

Maria G

BGG born 12-04-07
at 34 wks,4 days
Jack 4lbs,14 ozs
Brenna 4lbs,15 ozs
Sophia 3lbs,8ozs

"

Congratulations!

This is a very difficult topic that we've all faced. And the answer is an individual one. You absolutely need to do what is right for you.

From your post it sounds like your heart is against SR but your head is telling you it might be logical in order to reduce the risks. If that's the case my personal opinion is to follow your heart. PP have mentioned that reducing from 3 to 2 doesn't really improve your odds. I share your feeling that we've all been chosen for this amazing, special gift. Also I started with quads and lost one during the first trimester. I still think about and miss that baby every day and wonder what he or she would have been like. It seems like the older my BBG get (they're now 3+) the harder it has been that I lost the fourth one. I just don't think I could live with myself if that baby was gone due to SR rather than by God's choice.

However, this is all just my opinion! The most important thing is to do what's right for you, and we will all support your decision either way.

We spoke with a specialist and had CVS testing to make sure the babies were okay. We argreed to take into consideration what the doctors said about the risks. After crying for a few days my husband knew I couldn't do it. Anyways, that is how we made our decison.

Tara

Tara, DH Billy, Mother to Tyler (3 lbs 15 ozs), Justin (3 lbs 13 ozs) & Madison (3 lbs 13 ozs) born @ 32.4 weeks, August 25, 2006

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a

I've written extensively about SR on my website at http://raisingweg.typepad.com/

I'm sorry I don't have time to summarize now, because the bus is coming any second, but if you go to my site, look under "categories" and you'll see a link to Selective Reduction. I just wrote about it earlier this week and that post includes links to earlier posts that talk about statistics.

The biggest factor in your outcome is going to be finding a perinatalogist with extensive experience managing triplets. An aggressive practice with a good history will make a huge difference in the crucial weeks (16-24).

Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy.

Jody
g/b/g born Jan 2001
http://raisingweg.typepad.com/

My personal opinion based on a tragic experience:

I lost two triplets due to their prematurity. If I could go back and make the decision of selective reduction and possibly having two babies, instead of one because of the prematurity, I would not change a thing. I would continue with my triplet pregnancy. Nathalie (the surviving triplet) probably would be the one the drs. would have chosen to reduce because she measured 2 wks behind her brother and sister..

The loss of losing a child is so big, that I personally could not voluntarily end the life of any of them.

Follow your heart, remember, your dr wont have to live with the decision you make.

Good luck!

Monique
Mom to 26.5wk triplets, born 09/14/06
^Nicole^
^Daniel^
Nathalie

I was told of selective reduction too from our IVF specialist when he told us "unfortunately it's triplets". I think I knew before he told me. However, I carried to 33 weeks, a friend of mine to 34, another to 35 - from what I have read before and after my pregnancy, reduction is very risky - losing the entire pregnancy is your risk. Please read on it and get a 2nd and 3rd opinion before making such a decision. I can tell you that the right doctor will lead you by the hand through what is an extraordinary pregnancy no matter what decision YOU make and having 3 beautiful babies is the most amazing gift! Reduction is a choice that never goes away - it lasts a lifetime. The struggles of raising triplets is temporary and the joy of seeing them grow lasts forever. I will keep up with your story and be praying for you to feel good about whatever decision you make. In the end, you have to know what you did was right for you. Take care!

Hi, there!

I understand that this can be an extremely difficult situation for some people. I've read on this board that many peris and doctors strongly urge selective reduction when more than twins are involved. It is such a personal choice that, in the end, can only be made by yourself. However, I agree with you that God blesses people with things for a reason.

In my case, my RE quickly glossed over the whole SR thing because she said she was obligated to make sure I was told of all my options. She told me that her first patient that got pregnant with triplets was 4'11" and carried to 36 weeks with no problems. My OB never even hinted at it. She said most triplet pregnancies go well nowadays and she wasn't concerned at all because I had no health issues, history of miscarriages, etc.

I made it to 32 weeks 4 days with no problems to that point. My goal was 34 weeks, but that just wasn't meant to be. My babies are almost 5 months old now and are doing great. They all were breathing on their own from the beginning and had absolutely no issues. They stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks to master feeding skills and that's it. We were so blessed.

I would ask if there is anything specific that might make it especially difficult for you to carry triplets. Of course, we never know how things will turn out either way. I decided to just trust that God will take care of things and that whatever is meant to be will happen. I know it's not easy. Just make sure that whatever decision you make that you can be at peace with it for the rest of your life.

Best of luck, and I'll be thinking about you.
Suz

Hello,

We were given this talk by all the doctors I've seen. However, we started with quintuplets and I'm 41 yrs old. This was the most difficult decision we had ever made but decided (just for medical reasons), we would do SR down to triplets. We will never forget it...it was sooooo sad! They were identical twins so the complications with that alone was very high risk. We did not do the CVS. We only did the neck measurements. It was recommended to us to SR to twins...we just couldn't do it. The identicals were difficult enough. We felt trips are duable. We are still within the 7 weeks of the proceedure so something could still happen. We feel we made the right choice -sacrifice 2 risky to save the 3. I don't know if this helps with your decision. It's something that you need to feel right about in your heart. If you have any questions, I would be happy to help. Good luck!

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