Because of comments like this....

"And I so wish I could be as perfect as you."
"What drugs are you taking?"
"I'm offended by this statement."
"I'm so glad that you are one of those perfect people."


I wrote a post about the blessing of triplets and enjoying your triplets. I feel sad that many moms are talking about how jealous they are of singleton moms.

Then I become the bad guy for saying such a thing. And I'm "perfect" b/c I'm trying to see everything about my triplets as positive. Thats just crazy. Of course I had it hard, I don't have a nanny, my dh doesn't help out much, so it's mostly me.

All I'm trying to say is, you need to try to be positive. Negative feeds off of negative. What helped me the most when the kids were little, were the positive post. Reading about the moms who were happy, the ones who had a good outlook, the positive ones.

Maybe more people would post if people here were more kind.

Cheryl
Mommy to 5
Kyle (16)
Casey (13)
Tripz (BBG Jan 2006)


http://lilypie.com>

It's great that you find the positive posts to be most helpful, but some people find the vents to be most helpful because it helps them to not feel alone when they are having a bad day(s). The point is really that everyone is different and we all come here for our own reasons with the hope that we won't be judged for what we say here. You were offended by the statements above just as others may have felt judged by your post. Could it be that some people found your words unkind in a way?

Really, any post that begins with what you think of other people's posts is going nowhere good, despite best intentions. I'm sorry that you were put off by people's response, but it honestly had no hope of turning out any other way.

Casey

Im Sorry but your post seemed like a huge slap in the face to OP and all the responders on the venting post. It was so full of judgement! I am one of those that tend to live on the sunnier side of the street but I also live in reality.Raising triplets is not full of sunshine and roses, trying to shove that perception down anyones throat is just a bit insensitive.

BBG 6/21/06

try not to cry foul after your original post...while your post of "blessings and enjoyment" of triplets tried to sound sincere, it really came off as chiding those that responded to the vent post.

We already know we need to be positive, we already know negative feeds off negative, I don't think any of us needed that pointed out, but you felt we did.

Everyone has different outlooks, somedays I want to vent, somedays I want to focus on the positive. Guess I'm saying if you post because it makes you sad that many moms are jealous of singleton moms, you are going to get comments like you got. If people want to vent, simply let them, maybe hold off a while before you post a life is good, be grateful for your many blessings post, rather than on the heels of a vent post.

I have 4 children, work and have a nanny. Yet I will complain when I feel like it for reasons that suit me, regardless of what others think...does not mean I don't have my positive, running thru the fields of flowers days. I just hope I'm smart enough not to post those when my internet friends are needing some vent time.

sorry you feel like people aren't kind because they are expressing their reality...sometimes reality isn't kind.

Jonib
Abby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!
Rhett turns 10 12/15!

no, I can't get the lily pie to work

Maybe more people would post if people kept it real and not always so perfect sounding in their lives and that if they don't do it a certain way then it's not right.

Seriously, you can't try to change people by making them feel bad for their very real feelings! People get negative. People get positive. People get sad and happy. People get jealous! We are all a bunch of women on this board - well mostly - and women are women and are jealous of other women! Haven't you figured that out by now?

I've been a singleton mom looking at how fun multiples would be. I've been a multiples mom looking at how nice it was to be able to go to the store real quick. I have enjoyed both lives. They both have their advantages and they both have their disadvantages. I wouldn't change either one for the world. I now enjoy having my mixed bag and love it every day! It's hard as hell, but who's life isn't at times!!

I'll be positive when I'm feeling like it and I'll be negative when I need to be. Thank you, but I'm keepin it real.

The first post sounded condescending.

This post appears to be filled with drama.

Are you a bit lonely?



Jamye

Love my GGG ~


19 months old.....and counting
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/

popcorn smiley.. where are you??????

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07




http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message

  

Michelle
(formerly known as bsebllmom9 )
Tyler 17!!
Steph 15!!
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 3 years!!

LOL woW some people!!

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80" /></a>

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker"

You're kidding, right?

Michelle
(formerly known as bsebllmom9 )
Tyler 17!!
Steph 15!!
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 3 years!!

I am not sure if that was directed twards me, but I was laughing at the popcorn guy and some people was directed twards the whole post!!

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80" /></a>

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker"

hooray!!

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07




http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message

  

Yes, we all know we need to be positive and try to have a positive outlook on life. But there are days when this is much easier said than done. Your post came directly on the heels of a therapeutic vent session and it came off sounding holier-than-thou.

I was the one who said I was offended by your statement that the "complaining" moms obviously didn't understand the "magnitude of the gift of triplets." I still take offense at it.

Just because people have a venting session or two on TC (where else do people understand better?) doesn't mean that they have a negative outlook on life in general. It also doesn't mean that they don't understand what great gifts their kids are.

I stand by my original post.

Michelle
ggg born March 15, 2005
35.2 wks

Darn Triplethefun4 stole my smiley. I guess I will actually have to respond then. More re say what I said in the other thread since I came so late to that party.

Most of us vent about one thing or another that can be difficult. But I don't think any of us believes the bad out weighs the good. So in reading your last thread I didn't see it as people attacking something for expressing positive views. But rather defending their feelings that were expressed so recently in the vent thread. Because of your timing your post probably made some feel somewhat insulted, as if their vent about a small part of parent meant they didn't appreciate their children or 'count their blessings' enough. We all have our days. It is quite funny to read this forum over the years. You are not the first to respond to a vent with a "just think positive" response. It never turns out different. And those people who posted those think positive count your blessing posts in the past now participating in some of the venting posts. Because we ALL have our days. Doesn't make anyone less of a parent or parent any less fun.

You find it better to read and think positive. Great, do that. Some others find it better to occasionally dump out their frustrations so they can focus on the positive later. The responses you got to your post were all about the timing. I bet if you waited a week or two to post your post, and a little wording change, most of the same people who vented would have been posted how amazingly blessed they feel. And how many of them feel sad for singleton moms for never being able to experience same age siblings playing, laughing, hugging. I have read that thread a few times over the years too.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

"It is quite funny to read this forum over the years. You are not the first to respond to a vent with a "just think positive" response. It never turns out different. And those people who posted those think positive count your blessing posts in the past now participating in some of the venting posts."

Too funny and so true about the same people posting to support opposing positions at different times. That is one of the things that makes this board so entertaining. "Triplet Mommy Brain" has us all forgetting our positions in an argument.

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

though i am pretty much clueless
as to what is really going on here

think some lurkers like could be like myself

we lurk because after years of being on TC
we have seen the drama come and go
and we have been burned at one time or another by either someone
or something they have said on this forum

it is hard to sometimes word things just exactly right
or to get the right feeling of what we are saying in the forum world
so many times things get taken wrong

i am one who has seen this happen hundreds of times over the years

or some might lurk simply because TC was a great source
of help and information in the beginning
but as time has gone by and the kids get older
we grow farther away from the needs that are on this forum

just a thought is all
and am sure will get my share of flames at me for not knowing
what is going on lol

No flame but to catch you up on the current drama. It started with a vent thread.

http://www.tripletconnection.org/triplet_forum/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=135&topic_id=337157&mesg_id=337157&page=2

While it was still in its height the OP of this thread responded with a thread

http://www.tripletconnection.org/triplet_forum/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=135&topic_id=337490&mesg_id=337490&page=

Which many took as saying their participation in the first thread meant they were wallowing in the negative and needed to be more positive. I will give her at least a little credit that she started a different thread and didn’t respond in the original thread. Seen that before, gets even more ugly.

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

Well, good for you! I read your post and I was astounded because my life was a wreck back when my kids were that age. I wish I had been as positive and happy as you sound back then.

But I am NOW, so I guess it all works out in the end. I read the vent posts and think, "Thank God I'm over that stage. Thank God I'm not there anymore."

So here's to many more happy years and stages, and when you hit the rough spots, just know it doesn't last. In my opinion, it just gets better and better.

I also laugh at the snarky responses, because I tend to be a little snarky myself and then I think, "Oh goodie, some entertainment for the day." I wouldn't take it personally. But it's best not to stoke the fires either. Unless you are bored, of course.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

I'm bored. jk

Tasha
Have children afraid of monsters or just looking for a fun kids app? http://www.goawaymonster.com/

LOL

Hi - It just depends on what kind of day you are having. Some days I feel just as you described in your previous "triplets are a blessing" post. I have days where I feel on top of the world. Then there are days like today. I can't wait for nap time. I'm so ready to get these kiddo's out of my hair for a couple of hours! It has been a complete meltdown, whinefest, fightfest, chaotic day.

It is very normal to feel blessed and over the moon some days and then completely overwhelmed other days.

Try to take all the comments with an open mind and not personally. I feel your original post was sweet and it made me stop and think about what a blessing my babies are. Others may be having one of those "bad days" and just need to post about how they are feeling at this moment.

Okay, didn't we do this yesterday. And where do you find that popcorn guy at, I like him.
Anyways, I thought that was the whole reason of TC, the freedom to express your emotions and concerns to other multiple moms. Have the choice to respond to a thread if so wanted to. If a thread is negative than why respond to it. If you are a positive person than stay away from the negativity of others. I like to think that I am and can be positive with the way my life as turned out. But there were bad days when my girls were small and I am sure that there will be plenty more. I hope that I can count on some of you to understand when I do have those bad days. I am sorry that this has turned ugly for you. But like the pps stated, timing is everything.



Nicole,
My little lady's
Brynn, Taylor, Shelby,
36w, March 22, 04
Formerly known as niknakx3

Hillyt mom to
Ian 9
Ella, Holly, Jilly 4
Hadley 1

I swear I am not choosing sides, but did want to say that it was a lot easier to be positive until the kids were about 2 1/2, and easier again once they were a bit over 4. There is a big point in the middle there where I felt like I was being eaten alive. Potty training, giving up naps, biting, and the like tend to push many of us to the edge now and then. I tend to be really pretty positive in real life, and use a board like this to comiserate and get support from other people who have been there.

I think there is room for both outlooks, but it should be said in a way that at least tries to not slam someone....

Your original post came off very condesending, especially since it was right after 3petes WONDERFULLY HUMAN post. I'm not negative all the time, but reading her post and everyone else's responses was a breath of fresh air. It was a huge weight off my heart to discover I'm not the only one who feels and thinks the things I do. It never occurred to me that other MOM's have to make special arrangements to go to the grocery, etc. That's the whole point of this forum.

Excuse me and the rest of us for having human emotions, and for having houses that are a mess and aren't filled with laughter and hugs 24/7.

"Maybe more people would post if people here were more kind."
Maybe you should take a dose of your own medicine before you start judging people for having normal emotions.

Jenny
single mom to spontaneous BBB 34w 2d

http://lilypie.com>

Ahh.. get over it. Go back, read your replies there are just as many posts agreeing with you as there are ones who are offended.

It's your right to have your own post about loving the experience etc, it's other's right to vent and rightfully so raising triplets is a roller coaster.

I personally would like to rent my nearly 3 yr olds out for a year, simply because they are making me bonkers right now and LOVED LOVED to read the vents because I felt human, normal and I was relived to know that all the negative thoughts swirling in my head weren't only because I was a mean Mommy.

Of course I love my kids, they are my greatest wish come true but it doesn't mean I can't be tired or frustrated.

Keep lurking or posting, but as someone who tries to see things "half full" you sure are dwelling on the negative.

Misty
Mom to Emma,Isabella and Sophia
05/06/05 33 weeks

I'm saying this with compelte kindness, just trying to give you insight into why your post offended some posters.

Right about the same time, there was a vent post and two positive posts. I posted to the vent post because I found it very helpful, real and honest. I can understand and anticipate some of those feelings and it helps to know that others have been there and made it through. I also responded to the other "non-vent" post because to me, it was also honest without attacking anyone who felt differently. I thought it was a beautiful thought without judgment. I did not repsond to your post because I knew that it would offend others who had just taken a vulnerable chance (myself included) at being accepted for real feelings.

Have you never had a day where you cried in your bathroom thinking you would never get a break?

Your general sentiment about your kids and the big picture is beautiful and wonderful. But, real life and real people are all different and everyone has bad days. Sometimes, it helps to vent and to be honest.

DS,18; DD, 12; DD, 9
B,G,G 8/21/08 32w 1d (24 NICU days for all 3)

I really think that you should choose your words a bit more carefully next time. I can understand wanting other to see the positive HOWEVER.... we do need to vent.. When I resonded to the other post it was the FIRST time I had ever let it out what has been bothering me because I just let it bottle up and I don't allow myself to ever complain or vent because I am always telling myself how lucky I am and the one time I decide to let it out, I read a post like yours. I don't even know you and I shouldn't even let your words and thought make me feel guilty but because of the person I am I did let it bother me ... so please don't make us feel bad because we are only human and need to vent. For some of us this is all we have.

I normally would have to agree that people in general tend to be negative but the way that I see what happened is that a real mother needed to post her feelings as a mother. I don't see what the point in explaining to someone to positive was. I think that everyone here is well aware in the day and age we are in that it is believed that positivity changes everything.

Personally, I have not experienced "bad days" with my babies yet. They are now 15 mo old and my DH and I have not had a single day of help with them and never needed it. They also came straight home from the hospital with no medical issues. I had no bedrest. I had an uneventful pregnancy.

Most of the women you are telling to be positive experienced a "journey" to get their triplets, went through hell in their pregnancy only to deliver their babies severely premature and their babies fought for their lives - give me a fricken break if you think these women don't realize that their triplets are a blessing.

Life is life. Bad days happen. Being positive to make life go well was on Oprah - we probably all saw it.

Wow I'm being a B***H...go figure


Momma C to 15 mo old BGB trips!
DOB 12*15*06
4 pound 34.5 weekers

My post was misunderstood as far as the whole venting thing. I don't have any problem with people venting. We all need to vent when we are having bad days.

What I was commenting on is the being "Jealous of singleton parents". Okay wrong timing, fine. But it bothered my heart and I wanted to share about triplets being a blessing. And being thankful for having triplets.

Jealously is not a good thing! By saying that your jealous of someone, it means that you are not happy with what you have. Yeah you can say, thats not true, but what else does jealously mean? To be jealous or envy of someone is to wish for what they have, right?

Well you don't have one child, you have three and always will. And you need to be thankful for them, through the good days and the bad. Jealously is not going to help any.

The reason I wrote this post is b/c many triplet moms have told me that they have given up on posting here b/c they will get bashed for sharing their feelings. And it's true.

I wrote my feelings if a different post, I didn't respond to pete3 's post b/c I didn't what to start drama in there, but I did want to share about the jealously thing.

For those of you that understand where my heart is on this issue, thank you. If not then so be it.

Cheryl
Mommy to 5
Kyle (16)
Casey (13)
Tripz (BBG Jan 2006)


http://lilypie.com>

I find it hard to believe that you have never felt a sense of loss at not being able to dedicate more one-on-one time with your kids.

Sorry to keep this going but I'm sitting here in total bewilderment that you don't seem to get this. The only conclusion I can make is that one of three things is going on. Either you have so much help that your kids have never needed something that you couldn't provide (or maybe you don't feel guilty about not being able to immediately respond), or your lying to us about your feelings or you're lying to herself about your feelings. I have no idea which it is but these feelings I and other moms are having are perfectly normal (so long as they are not consuming you).

Don't get hung up on the terms "singleton experience" or "jealousy" and focus on the sentiment of the comments. We feel guilty that when we cannot always focus on each kid as much as we would like. I'll give you one more example to hopefully help you understand what I mean. I had a girlfriend over the other day who has a baby two weeks younger than my kids. My kids were hungry and tired so I was feeding them before I put them down for a nap. Two of them started getting really upset and so I was cleaning them up to put them to bed. It got fairly loud because I, of course, could only deal with one at a time. My girlfriend looked a little amazed and made the comment "wow, I'm not sure how you do it. My daughter started getting a little tired and cranky so I just picked her up and she's fine now." I said, "yep, unfortunately I can't cuddle all three of them like that so it gets a little loud until I can get to all of them." She didn't mean anything by it but I think it just hit her how difficult it must be to not be able to immediately comfort your baby.

I'm secure enough in myself to know these feelings are perfectly normal but I appreciate being about to commiserate with other MOMs. Helps give me energy to lay my feelings out on the table so I can go back in and play happily with my kids.

Sorry for the long post but your comments are bothering my heart and I felt the need to respond. You telling me to feel blessed feels very patronizing because it assumes I do not feel that way. I thank God every day for my kids, my husband, my life. If you were to ask anyone who knows me, they would say these are the words that most often come out of my mouth. But like I said, that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel guilty. I think that's just being a good mom. I'm done, I truly hope and pray you start to undertstand why this is being taken so offensively.

Tara
Born 7/18/07 at 35w5d
Girl A - 4 lb 10 oz (No NICU)
Boy B - 5 lb 12 oz (6 days)
Girl C - 5 lb 12 oz (11 days)

"Jealousy is the most sincere form of flattery."

Tiffani & Ray(NJ)

I don't think people were saying that they were jealous of the fact that singleton parents have just one kid - its the experiences that they are jealous of.

I had a singleton first go 'round and I could just jump up and go with her. We took her everywhere and it was a breeze for the most part. Now if we want to do something there is planning and prep work so to speak.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give up having trips for anything in the world but I do miss the freedom of just jumping in the car and taking off to WalMart or the mall. I can physically still do those things but it isn't much fun when you're chasing three 3yo monkies and doing the never ending head count.

I doubt any of us wish that we only had one kid.

You're exactly right, NC. What I was saying, that was so misconstrued, is that there is no such thing as running into the store for a freaking gallon of milk. I either have to wait until the girls are in bed, or DH gets it on his way home from work. Tell me a mom with a singleton would have to make every arrangement known to man, just to accomplish an easy task such as that.

Jamye

Love my GGG ~


19 months old.....and counting
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/

I read your original post. In my humble opinion, you said nothing offensive. I chat on about three different boards and I have found that many have a tendency to take something a certain way, then speak to the original poster as if that is what the poster must have meant.

It doesn't matter that your words never insulted or judged. If its taken that way, you will be grilled for it.

I have had a few here who have called me a jerk and insensitive even though what they pulled from my words had no meaning like the way they took it.

When someone says "you offended me", that is impossible. Nobody can offend someone. One has to choose to be offended. Being offended is a choice. We choose how we react.

And even if there were some words that may have been questionable, your intent was obvious in the whole post. You were simply trying to help.

Surviving husband to Tammie who passed in March of 2009.
Now married to Nina.
Father of Samantha Nicole, Kayla Shea , and Dominic Paul born on 10/14/02
Step-father to Kristina Nicole born on 09/24/85
Grandfather to Riley Faith born on 5/13/06
Come and see

Well said Nick!! You put it just the way I have been thinking. I was never "offended" by her post and why would I be.

As my girls grow I wish I could go back in time and embrace those crazy baby days. I miss them so much, crazy I know. We all live in the momment. I cannot say I have been ever jealous of a singleton mom. Having triplets is what it is. I can honestly say that I complained less about my kids, did more with my kids, and was way more organized then my singleton mom friends (they would admit it too!!). If that makes me a bad person, OK. This is just my opinion on my experience for the past 6 1/2 years.

Some of you that have been on the boards for years may remember me. I do keep a low profile and lurk more then post. The boards have changed over the years and I wish many of you (with younger little ones) could have seen what a wonderful board this used to be. It is still very helpful but the content and purpose has become disappointing. Everyone needs to remember why these boards were created... to unite multiple birth families and SUPPORT eachother in ways that many cannot understand.

With all that being said... going back to my lurking!!

Khrissys3girls

Mommy to Lindsey, Kaylee, & Carly born 8/30/01 at 31 weeks
AND John Thomas born 1/17/06 at 39w3d

http://lilypie.com>

http://lilypie.com>[/i

Amen to that Krissy. I write legitimate questions on here and hardly get more than 1 answer. What is this freaken board for? To fight over rediculous posts on how everyone disagrees with how someone else feels? It's stupid. Can someone recommend a forum I can go to get my questions answered. I have 6 mos old babies and I am a first time mom and I need real advice from time to time. Maybe we could set up a thread so you ladies can just fight and reserve the rest of the board for actual information.

Christy

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers" /></a>

Chris,

I just wrote you separately.

Tara
Born 7/18/07 at 35w5d
Girl A - 4 lb 10 oz (No NICU)
Boy B - 5 lb 12 oz (6 days)
Girl C - 5 lb 12 oz (11 days)

Tara,

I never had received a personal message, so I don't know how to check it. Where do I go? I tried going into user pref and selecting "Inbox", but there was nothing there. How do I look for your message.

Christy

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers" /></a>

Khrissy and Nick,

I am right with you! I would've actually enjoyed carebear's original thread had it not been ruined by people who were "offended" by her positive attitude on her life - lol! Sometimes I think that some people are just looking for a reason to get offended. If I got upset by someone simply reminding me to appreciate my kids, man, I'd probably be getting offended all the time. I have crappy days just like everyone else. I'm sure carebear does too, but if she chooses to look at it in a positive way (and positive is not a synonym for perfect), well good for her. I agree with that this board has changed so much. It has become less helpful to HOM's than it used to be. Oh well, back to my lurking too!

I agree, this board really has changed. A post like this gets 3000+ hits and 4 million answers and other legitimate posts get 2 answers. There were a lot of posters here who are not here any longer because they got ripped a new one because of their opinion. It will always be that way.

That said, I don't agree or disagree with the original poster. Everyone is different. Everyone looks at the world a different way. Plus, come on people, this is the internet. People loved to look great to make others feel bad. It is what it is. There is not one life on this earth that is PERFECT. I tend to be a more negative person. I'm trying to change that, but if someone tells me they've never had one bad day or tries to "tell" me not be jealous, yada yada yada, I try to just let it roll. Difficult sometimes I know. Just remember, this IS the internet where people love to make others feel bad. It is what it is.

Ann

BBG born 7/7/03
33 weeks 3 days

Since I'm the one who mentioned being "offended" I'm going to reply. I never said that "she offended me." I said I took offense at one of the statements that she made in her original post. And yes, it definitely was MY CHOICE to be offended. I felt like maybe there was a different way to say what she had to say and the timing was way off. As others have said, people blew off some steam and vented in a very real and honest way, which is refreshing in this society that expects us to love, love, love every second of parenting.

I think everyone acknowledges that positive thinking is a good way to go, but coming right on the heels of the 'vent' post was a post that I feel tapped right back into that mommy guilt thing. You know,like, wow I shouldn't complain about anything regarding parenting because if I do, I obviously don't appreciate the gifts that are my children. It just upset me (and yes, I chose to be upset) and again the timing was way off.

I mostly lurk on this board these days and don't post much. It seems as if there is a disagreement it will be pulled. Frankly, I'm surprised this one hasn't been pulled yet.

Michelle
ggg born March 15, 2005
35.2 wks

Peaches and creme here and one of my triplets is in a skilled nursing facility!!!.
He tried to set up the other day!!!! 2yrs I've been waiting for this. My children feed off of me so it's very important to be positive. Mostly for a enviroment.
I feel if our family didn't have such positive thoughts our son wouldn't be here. And sometimes you get down, because I've posted. The positive thoughts keep me going.
Jeannett

I am new at this......my kids are only 2 months old. I appreciate your POSITIVE post; I appreciate every positive comment that I hear. I heard sooooooo much negative when I was pregnant with the trips; I really got tired of the negative comments . Thanks for being POSITIVE.

I agree that we all need to vent sometimes but I also agree that NEGATIVE feeds off of NEGATIVE.
I am new here and learning. Please don't eat me alive

I would like to just say thank you to those for the supportive posts!

Triplets are hard work and it's not easy, everyone has hard days. I guess some people like to read positive posts and some don't, oh well.

I think it's so sad also that when you need help and ask a question sometimes you only get 1-2 replies. But boy those drama post like this one stick around for days. Maybe b/c many of the helpful moms find other supportive boards to go to.

Cheryl
Mommy to 5
Kyle (16)
Casey (13)
Tripz (BBG Jan 2006)


http://lilypie.com>

THANKS SO MUCH for bumping this up again, Cheryl. I haven't been on in a few hours and thought it would go away, but there are just some who love drama. Particularly the ones that make two posts out of one issue. JOB WELL DONE on keeping the drama alive. (You know the drama you hate.)

I have seen your name in some other drama oriented posts, but that's okay because I personally, need a little drama in my life and am not afraid to admit that either, just like I have negative feelings sometimes. Mine have since disapated, but I reminded of it everytime I log into TC. Notice my original post is NOT the one still being bumped to the top. HMMMMMMMMMM......Thanks again for a holier than thou post. I enjoyed responding to it AGAIN. Gotta keep it going, right? Glad to do my part to help others.

Now on to real issues.

Jamye

Love my GGG ~


19 months old.....and counting
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/

I think what rubbed me the wrong way about your post was that you felt that anyone who was jealous of a singleton mom didn't appreciate the fact that they have triplets. ("The magnitude of the gift of triplets" - or something like that.) That simply isn't true. That's it.

Oh, and Lea? Bravo. You are incredibly articulate!

Jo

Liesel, Radek, & Courtney
Born 31 weeks, 1 day
August 28, 2007

nick g I usually agree with you...only because you are a male I guess! But I think you are off the mark on this one, first of all you failed to make me laugh which is something I've come to expect from your posts. Secondly, it was all about timing...so many of us just hit the vent post...and then we get a slap on the wrist about our blessings. give me a break on that one! I expect greater things from nick G!

I'm sorry, but I'm sarcastic and positive...sometimes the sarcasm is what gets me through...I can't stand having to preface a whine about how much I love my kids...
most people know a positive outlook is healthier both spiritually and physically, but for petes sake, a vent is just that, a vent. That is why I come here instead of calling my mother...I don't need to freakin hear how lucky I am...I just want to commiserate with people who understand.

Cheryl, if you don't understand...hold your posts until a vent post is AT LEAST off the first page...and please spare the pity party...I think you knew what you were posting and how it would come off.

I'm back to take care of my blessings with the flu AND double ear infections as of today's dr's visit...anybody want to tell me how blessed I am I just might have to find a punching bag smiley

Jonib
Abby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!
Rhett turns 10 12/15!

no, I can't get the lily pie to work

As a lurker, sometimes I lurk to get great advice. Sometimes I lurk to find out new ideas for toys. Sometimes I lurk for the drama. But mostly I lurk because after 3 years with triplets, I have an attention span of about 5 minutes. And this place offers me that five minutes several times a day, with people that I think understand how I'm feeling, especially when I want to vent.

Someone once posted that it should be a given that all of us LOVE LOVE LOVE our triplet children. That we can't imagine life without them. It would be great if every time we came onto the site, we could click "i agree" at the end of a long statement saying just that. And then we could feel free to complain (or B*#^h?) all we want.

Truly I lurk because I'm inspired by such an amazing group of mothers, and I can't get that great advice from anyone else.

Sude
mother of Milly, Sabine & Jack
5/12/05

>As a lurker, sometimes I lurk to get great advice. Sometimes
>I lurk to find out new ideas for toys. Sometimes I lurk for
>the drama. But mostly I lurk because after 3 years with
>triplets, I have an attention span of about 5 minutes. And
>this place offers me that five minutes several times a day,
>with people that I think understand how I'm feeling,
>especially when I want to vent.
>
>Someone once posted that it should be a given that all of us
>LOVE LOVE LOVE our triplet children. That we can't imagine
>life without them. It would be great if every time we came
>onto the site, we could click "i agree" at the end of a long
>statement saying just that. And then we could feel free to
>complain (or B*#^h?) all we want.
>
>Truly I lurk because I'm inspired by such an amazing group of
>mothers, and I can't get that great advice from anyone else.
>
>Sude
>mother of Milly, Sabine & Jack
>5/12/05

YOU lady, should stop lurking and start posting!!! you have some good ideas!

Jonib
Abby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!
Rhett turns 10 12/15!

no, I can't get the lily pie to work

I agree with you Cheryl. I think if someone made the choice to birth their children, then they have no right to be jealous of the singleton mother. Those who have many children, you made the choice to have them. You did not have to have them. Now, I am in now way advocating for abortion, since I am pro-life but the fact remains that there are options.

I agree that positive is better than negative. I try every day to remember that my triplets are a blessing and that there are many moms of angels out there who wish they were dealing with my 3 boys who dont sleep through the night or someone elses triplets who are wreaking havoc on their parents' living room, etc. I can guarantee you those people would be grateful just to have their children alive.

I'm not saying that venting is not necessary. Sure, everyone has bad days. I personally try not to read the venting posts because I dont want to see what I could possibly (or not) have to look forward to. It is really all in how you perceive things.

So I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your thoughts.

Momma to BBB triplets born 04/11/08 @ 34w1d
Landon (My Charmer)
Kadyn (My Cuddler)
Reilly (My Cookey Crazy)

Wow. Let me start off by saying that I was raised by a father whose sense of humor was very dry and sarcastic and it rubbed off on me by literal truck loads, so try to take what I say with a grain of salt while also seeing the point in the maybe "snarky" wording. Your personal perspective on whether or not a certain emotion is "good" or "bad" for a person to feel is just that- your PERSONAL perspective. The fact that it "hurts" -your- heart to know that someone -else- felt an emotion is incredibly selfish. Its none of your business how or why anyone else cycles through their emotional wheel and just because you attribute negativity to a certain emotion on that wheel does not give you the right to label it for the rest of us. Every single person who has dealt with something as major as a multiple pregnancy has every right to handle it how they see fit.

Because someone -chooses- to do something does NOT mean they will find it easy, without strain, and without any fleeting moments of "what if". But, pretending that's the case, let's examine for a second what "options" we all would have had if we decided that having a single child was easier then having triplets. We did not -choose- to have three children. That is what we ended up with. I'm absolutely POSITIVE none of us regret it. Statements like being jealous of a singleton mom aren't meant as literal as you are taking them. That statement when lengthened looks more like this - Man, I wish that even though I had three children my duties and/or burdens could be as simply handled as they can be when they are so plentiful. Wow, big whoop, eh? Geez, that woman sounds like she'd drown two of her kids in the river out back if she had the chance, doesn't she? NO. You have to be kidding me. To even think for a moment that you have somehow betrayed your children or your love for them by having a simple emotional response like thinking while all three babies are crying until they turn themselves blue that if there was only one five-point harness the job might be easier, you'd have to be a pretty shallow being. How in the world do you not see you pressing your personal opinion of whether or not an emotion (that shockingly if you have studied psychology is absolutely normal and healthy in every way) is "good" or "bad". Emotions are not good or bad. Emotions are feelings that everyone has and learns how to deal with, and voicing them among people who have felt the same at one time or another is productive. Hence why there is such a thing as group therapy. Anyone claiming mothers of triplets don't need such an outlet needs to keep their thoughts to themselves.

Now, for you to think to yourself "Man, I am glad I don't harbor jealously and am so positive about my own kids", that rules. For you to dump your judgement on someone who quite obviously is already having a hard time of it dealing with their own burdens is akin to kicking someone while they're down. Not only that, but even remotely speaking for "people" by claiming that it may be why people don't speak up on the forums instead of taking a hard look in the mirror and thinking about the fact that you casting such a seriously negative blanket over anyone who had the guts to openly express an emotion that might be hard for them to even admit feeling? Really? I love when "positive" people are the ones that feel the need to point out what is wrong with everyone else when they're not positive. *ahem* -Telling people they are wrong (wrong is negative, btw) about something is the opposite of what you're claiming to be. No wonder people supposedly jumped on your other post.

I do not think having any human emotion such as wishing sometimes that your burdens didn't weigh, even if you wou;dn't actually trade them, is inappropriate. In fact, I find it empowering that we have a venue in which we can share some of the weight of those burdens with others just by expressing our own heartaches. This entire post of yours was quite frankly the most negative one I have seen since joining the forums, and I find it ironic that when you seem to have such a great handle on raising and caring for your children, you don't have the compassion to deal with the rest of society without a gavel.

>Wow. Let me start off by saying that I was raised by a father
>whose sense of humor was very dry and sarcastic and it rubbed
>off on me by literal truck loads, so try to take what I say
>with a grain of salt while also seeing the point in the maybe
>"snarky" wording. Your personal perspective on whether or not
>a certain emotion is "good" or "bad" for a person to feel is
>just that- your PERSONAL perspective. The fact that it "hurts"
>-your- heart to know that someone -else- felt an emotion is
>incredibly selfish. Its none of your business how or why
>anyone else cycles through their emotional wheel and just
>because you attribute negativity to a certain emotion on that
>wheel does not give you the right to label it for the rest of
>us. Every single person who has dealt with something as major
>as a multiple pregnancy has every right to handle it how they
>see fit.
>
>Because someone -chooses- to do something does NOT mean they
>will find it easy, without strain, and without any fleeting
>moments of "what if". But, pretending that's the case, let's
>examine for a second what "options" we all would have had if
>we decided that having a single child was easier then having
>triplets. We did not -choose- to have three children. That is
>what we ended up with. I'm absolutely POSITIVE none of us
>regret it. Statements like being jealous of a singleton mom
>aren't meant as literal as you are taking them. That statement
>when lengthened looks more like this - Man, I wish that even
>though I had three children my duties and/or burdens could be
>as simply handled as they can be when they are so plentiful.
>Wow, big whoop, eh? Geez, that woman sounds like she'd drown
>two of her kids in the river out back if she had the chance,
>doesn't she? NO. You have to be kidding me. To even think for
>a moment that you have somehow betrayed your children or your
>love for them by having a simple emotional response like
>thinking while all three babies are crying until they turn
>themselves blue that if there was only one five-point harness
>the job might be easier, you'd have to be a pretty shallow
>being. How in the world do you not see you pressing your
>personal opinion of whether or not an emotion (that shockingly
>if you have studied psychology is absolutely normal and
>healthy in every way) is "good" or "bad". Emotions are not
>good or bad. Emotions are feelings that everyone has and
>learns how to deal with, and voicing them among people who
>have felt the same at one time or another is productive. Hence
>why there is such a thing as group therapy. Anyone claiming
>mothers of triplets don't need such an outlet needs to keep
>their thoughts to themselves.
>
>Now, for you to think to yourself "Man, I am glad I don't
>harbor jealously and am so positive about my own kids", that
>rules. For you to dump your judgement on someone who quite
>obviously is already having a hard time of it dealing with
>their own burdens is akin to kicking someone while they're
>down. Not only that, but even remotely speaking for "people"
>by claiming that it may be why people don't speak up on the
>forums instead of taking a hard look in the mirror and
>thinking about the fact that you casting such a seriously
>negative blanket over anyone who had the guts to openly
>express an emotion that might be hard for them to even admit
>feeling? Really? I love when "positive" people are the ones
>that feel the need to point out what is wrong with everyone
>else when they're not positive. *ahem* -Telling people they
>are wrong (wrong is negative, btw) about something is the
>opposite of what you're claiming to be. No wonder people
>supposedly jumped on your other post.
>
>I do not think having any human emotion such as wishing
>sometimes that your burdens didn't weigh, even if you wou;dn't
>actually trade them, is inappropriate. In fact, I find it
>empowering that we have a venue in which we can share some of
>the weight of those burdens with others just by expressing our
>own heartaches. This entire post of yours was quite frankly
>the most negative one I have seen since joining the forums,
>and I find it ironic that when you seem to have such a great
>handle on raising and caring for your children, you don't have
>the compassion to deal with the rest of society without a
>gavel.

How did you stay mad long enough to type all of that?

rofl. That post just made my day. The only reason I can write such a long post about something so miniscle is because I've been stuck on bedrest since thirteen weeks and its now only seventeen and I am already going crazy. It fueled my fire. lol.

I'm offended that you have cheesless thighs after only 10 months. I've seen the picture and I don't like it one bit!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

>He's just miffed cause I wouldn't
>send him a picture of my now cheeseless thighs.

Awww you're just mad because I have a better rack than you.

WOW - All of this drama and I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!! WOOT WOOT!

Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005

>WOW - All of this drama and I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!
>WOOT WOOT!
>
>
ME TOO!! I think...

I'm a little lost as to why this is even at the top again...

Michelle

Tyler 17 1/2 years
Steph 16 years
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 4 years ~33wk2d~
http://triplethefunplus2.blogspot.com/

On a serious note, I get jealous of parents of singletons too. I feel bad asking people to watch all three of ours and thus my wife and I stay home a lot more than in the past. I miss having the freedom to do the things we did before and envy those that still can.

That being said, I do not resent my kids for that loss of freedom. It is possible to be jealous of others but still be satisfied with what you have.

Now, back to the previously scheduled drama and insanity.

Can I have the key to the drama vault? I promise to only us my power for good and not evil. Swear to God.

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

huh???

I missed something.

Having both singletons and triplets...I DO miss having the intimacy of one baby. It's just the TRUTH. I love my trio, but there are things you miss out on.

oh well.

Christa
Mommy of:
Reagan, "Queen Bee"
Ethan, "Mr. Cuddles"
Delaney, "Da Boss"
Addison, "Sweet Pea"
Joel, "Super Sillies"

Is there a reason this post was bumped after almost 10 months?

Tiffani & Ray(NJ)

It was at the top when I replied to it. I hardly ever look at the dates!

Christa
Mommy of:
Reagan, "Queen Bee"
Ethan, "Mr. Cuddles"
Delaney, "Da Boss"
Addison, "Sweet Pea"
Joel, "Super Sillies"

I thought it was archived after some time and you couldn't bump it. Obviously I am wrong....OOH! that's a first. Don't tell my husband or I'll have to write it on the calendar and he'll do a "happy" dance!

How in the world did this start over again? silly...
Karen
p.s. I am jealous of Jessica Simpson's boobs. No pictures needed....3 births with 5 kids (all breastfed), cup size is the first letter of the alphabet....

Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,12,Grace,8
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)

Just get pregnant again and you'll have nice boobs for a while...duh! lol

seriously, I hear you on this one. I just looked in the mirror the other day (my milk supply has been dwindling)...WTF happened to my best physical feature?????? Should have enjoyed them more while they lasted, I guess...

Crystal
Makenna Elizabeth, Olivia Lyn, and Lauren Avery
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/

I used to view and post a lot more here. I don't know the personalities of the people on the board now, but when my trio was much younger, there were periodic outbursts of sniping and cattiness / pettiness. Over the span of several years, i found it to be episodic and recurrent. Let is roll off your back as best you can. Enjoy the board for what it offers, including a lot of great advice and commiseration during difficult times.

Best of luck!


Mark
Lucky husband to Sally
Dad to g/b/b triplets
in Spring 2003 at 36w2d

UHHHHHHHH.......well said. LMAO. Love the part about the thighs. I, too am jealous of anyone's thighs that don't rub together when they walk.

I do think the definition was taken completely out of context. Like every emotion that we experience, it can be the catalyst to force change. Even jealousy, anger, and resentment can have a positive outcome, simply by exisiting, not wallowing in it. I don't think anyone was saying that they were going to let jealousy run amuck in their lives, simply that it was a fleeting feeling about certain aspects of being a triplet mommy. I certainly don't dwell on it, I just did on Saturday.

Jamye

Love my GGG ~


19 months old.....and counting
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/

Mad Molly, THANK YOU for making my day!!!! Could have used this mad, hysterical laughter when I was having my meltdown last night (instead I watched Jon & Kate series back-to-back, ignoring the pained look on my dh's face!).

I agree with you, all's relative in life (including jealousy) and I'd be the first to admit that there are times I feel SAD that I have never experienced the "pregnancy/ motherhood bliss". The last one year, my life had been filled with a constant terror and worry - starting with "Uh...oh...there is one more!" (10wks pregnant) to the crazy roller coaster NICU ride STILL to this day!!!

MadMolly, i adore you. thankyou for the laugh and insight

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers" /></a>

I adore you too. Let's forget all this nonsense and post pictures of our thighs.

M'kay?

You go first!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

Awesome...I think that pretty well sums it up!

And I don't like to see my own thighs, I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure nobody else wants to see them either! LMAO!

Casey