I just have to get this out and I think I talked my two closest friends' ears off with this tonight.

My ex-husband is getting married. Not too terribly upset about that. I found out from my children this evening that he has told all of them to call the fiancee "mom". Apparently she was wise enough to tell my girls that they already had a mom and that it wouldn't be good for them to do that. I am so upset and angry. I spent years trying to become a Mom. First through adoption and then through IVF and the triplets. The ex knows this and knows exactly what to say to upset me. He has been really rotten. Not seeing the kids for months, paying very little child support, working part-time, etc. He has done a lot of things to me but this one is the worst!

I guess I am just looking for someone else to tell me how rotten this was too. Or am I way overreacting?

Kristina
Divorced MOM

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVF

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com

That's bad, and your children are too young to understand the politics of it all. I'm sorry and hopefully the step-mom will understand the consquences of the head games better than their dad does. My parents divorced before I was born and I call my step-dad "dad, because I literally grew up with him and his is my father in all respects except sperm donation. I call my step-mom by her first name because although she's been in my life since I was 4, she has never been a real mom figure to me.

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

<a href="http://www.tickercentral.com"><img border="0" src=""></a>


http://www.tickercentral.com>

I understand how you feel. I would hate it too if my kids were told to call someone else MOM, but I doubt if your ex-husband did it to bug you. I have a male cousin who married someone with a 4 year-old daughter and she calls him Daddy, even though she already has a daddy. I find it weird that she calls him that but I guess she can't call him by his first name and she can't call him "uncle" so it was the easiest thing. At least your ex's fiance told them not to do it

OH HELL NO. No, no, no, NO, you are not overreacting. There is one person on the whole planet who will ever be their mom, and that is YOU. Even if you were dead this would be highly inappropriate.

Jenny
single mom to spontaneous BBB 34w 2d

http://lilypie.com>

I'm happily divorced and I'd be super peeved at my ex if he told MY kids to call his fiance (mine doesn't even have a girlfriend...right now) mom!

Thankfully she seems like an ok enough gal to correct the children.
I think you are within your right to give him a call. Take the high road. Congratulate him on his engagement, but tell him that it is not ok with you for the kids to call his soon to be wife "mom" and even she respects that. She's "her name" or "step-mom". If years and years pass and they do decide to call her mom as well, it will be of their own doing, not your dumb ex-DH!

I have had a boyfriend now for years and my kids call him by his NAME. I would never tell them to call him "Dad". They love him, but they have a dad. If my kids decided to call my boyfriend dad or some other made-up name as the years go on, it will be their doing, not mine.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's hard enough dealing with an ex.

Jami
mom to 7 year old BGG,
9 year old G, & 11 year old G

This was amazingly rotten! I'm in a very similar situation so I completely understand. You are not overreacting. This woman didn't go through a triplet pregnancy, NICU time, raising 3 babies. She doesn't deserve the title. Feel free to email me privately if you'd like to further vent. Trust me, I understand.


Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 11 yr old big brother
and new baby brother born 12-07-06 @ 36 weeks.