I'm still cracking up!

Dumb lady: Wow! You have triplets? Did you have them on accident?
Me: What?
Dumb lady: I mean on purpose.
Me: you can't have triplets on accident or on purpose.
Dumb lady: You must have had them early right?
Me: 32 weeks.
Her: Oh that's good! I can't imagine how huge you would be if you went full term.
Me: There's nothing good about having a 3 pound baby that has to stay in the hospital for 6 weeks.
Her: so did you do fertility treatment?
Me: Bye, Have a nice day!

I usually get so annoyed and offended when the fertility topic comes up but today this lady was SO dumb! If you could have seen her face... All I could do was laugh!

Crazy mom to:
DS 10
DS 7
& BBB 5!
9/29/06 born @ 32w2d

My rudest comment:

I went to Target one evening when I was about 4 months pregnant with Elise (so the trips were a little over a year). I was buying 3 cases of diapers in the same size. Didn't have any of the kids with me, and I was enjoying the relative peace of the store and being anonymous for once.

The lady behind me in line said "hey, did you realize that you have 3 cases of the SAME SIZE diapers? You'll never use that many of the same size - they grow so fast". I was planning to avoid mentioning the triplets at all costs. "Yes, we go through a lot." This went back and forth a few times, with her just insisting that I shouldn't buy 3 cases of the same size. Finally, I fessed up to having triplets.

Now this woman was probably upper-30s, maybe lower 40s. She had two kids with her. So she certainly should have understood that if you aren't sure whether someone is pregnant or if they just had a really big lunch, you shouldn't ask.

"OH MY GOD!!! TRIPLETS????? So, is *THAT* (pointing to my belly) leftover from the triplets, or are you pregnant again?"

Yes, I did burst into tears on the spot.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

>
>"OH MY GOD!!! TRIPLETS????? So, is *THAT* (pointing to my
>belly) leftover from the triplets, or are you pregnant
>again?"
>
>Yes, I did burst into tears on the spot.


THANK GOD YOU WERE PREGNANT!!! In hindsight, that's kind of funny, but I bet it was rather annoying/insulting at the time.

Reminds me of the times I've been out with one, and someone with 2 will say something like "I remember when I only had one kid. Things were so much easier" to me. I have bitten my tongue on so many occasions in order to not get trapped in a pissing contest. I don't care if that women had 4 kids, the dynamics of HOM is like none other.

That is awful!!!

I remember a lady from church came by to drop off 3 large wicker baskets of goodies for the babies the day we returned from bringing the last of the trio home, so I was 10 days postpartum. We were so tired, but she insisted she would just drop them off and leave. Instead, she came with her two youngest kids, who ran around the house, yelling and playing with my older two boys. Her husband was out in their car, when she leaves, she looks at me and tells him "She still looks as pregnant as I did with "fill in the name of her last baby." I wanted to die on the spot.

The really sad part is this lady is actually a very nice person. Her husband is a doctor and she had been a physical therapist. They are very good people. She just doesn't think before speaking. It seems to be a problem for many people.

Cindy
Paul and Andrew
Kristen, Rachel and Michael

Thanks for the laugh!

My funniest yet was over the weekend--on a walking/biking trail alone with the babies in the runabout and my two older kids. This lady, in a parked car in the nearby parking lot yells out her window:

-Hey, are those triplets?
"Yes" and I keep on walking
-They're beautiful!
Brief "Thanks" over my shoulder and keep walking
-Were you surprised?
Duh, "Yep" over shoulder, keep walking
-When did you find out? I mean how did you find out?
The questions just went on and on as I got farther and farther away trying to catch up with my big kids who had run ahead to a playground and needed some serious supervision. A conversation in a store, at the park, zoo, etc. I can usually deal with, but yelling questions from your car window as I keep walking away??? Seriously?

Rebecca

Laura (6)
Lucas (3)
Aubrie, Emily, & Teresa born 7/5/10 at 34w3d.

Ugh...These kinds of comments will only increase once I actually have the babies I imagine.

It seems like most people do not directly ask "was it ivf?" or "did you have fertility tx", so I can avoid the question. I did have an IUI btw and at first didn't really mind sharing that, but now more and more I find the question really invasive and annoying.

The other day, while I was standing in line at the grocery store no less, the woman in front of me asked me point blank whether or not I had fertility tx. I said "yes", but in hindsight wish I had some snappy comeback or just way to avoid the question.

How have you handled this direct questions??? I've kind of figured out how to deal with all the other mmore indrect ones, but the in your face directness of the fertility tx one seems to throw me off.

Mom to Ruby born 8/06 and Marshall 7/08
Expecting triplets 11/18/11

http://lilypie.com>

I usually tell them that I did IVF. I know that it bothers some people to tell others about it but I find that it usually shuts them up when I tell them that we did IVF. Every once in a while I have someone say that they tried too or no someone close to them that is going through fertility tx. Though I do have to say if the other person is completely on my nerves I usually walk away and I don't answer their questions.

Sasha - it depends on the person, thier attitude, and whether or not I'm in the mood or have the time to chat. Now that the kids are older, I don't have a problem in telling people we "used drugs" (we also did an IUI), but I used to respond to the direct questions by saying "We just got lucky!". And if they ask again, I just keep repeating my answer ad nauseum. They will eventually stop asking.

I'm surprised that even at the age of 6, we STILL get lots of comments and questions about the kids. They usually ask if they are twins, but we've had several people ask if they are triplets lately, too. I think it is kind of funny that people still recognize them as such (they are fraternal GBG). Just yesterday at Target, an older man approached and asked if I had twins. I told him they were triplets and he thought it was the neatest thing ever, of course (I love older people!). He thought it was so great and congratulated me on the kids. Yes, even at 6

Nik
GBG triplets born 4/2/05
30w5d
www.thebestthingscomein3.blogspot.com

>It seems like most people do not directly ask "was it ivf?" or
>"did you have fertility tx", so I can avoid the question. I
>did have an IUI btw and at first didn't really mind sharing
>that, but now more and more I find the question really
>invasive and annoying.
>
>The other day, while I was standing in line at the grocery
>store no less, the woman in front of me asked me point blank
>whether or not I had fertility tx. I said "yes", but in
>hindsight wish I had some snappy comeback or just way to avoid
>the question.
>
>How have you handled this direct questions??? I've kind of
>figured out how to deal with all the other mmore indrect ones,
>but the in your face directness of the fertility tx one seems
>to throw me off.

"WOW!!" (Act shocked as if you haven't heard this 400 times before.)
- "What a personal question - why do you ask?"
- or if you are really brave: "What a personal question about my sex life and medical history - why do you ask?"
- or if you are really really brave: "Why don't you tell me about how your children were conceived, and then I'll tell you about mine!"

My sister always answers: "We are just so blessed/lucky to have them!" "No, I asked if you had IVF." "Yes, I heard you. We are just SO blessed/lucky to have them!" She just refuses to engage.

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

If someone asks me if they are natural, my response is that they are as natural as any other kids. If they ask if we used IVF/fertility, I ask, "Does it matter?"

I really don't feel inclined to go into the issue with a total stranger, but one time my flip answer made me feel like a total a$$. I had to take the girls in because they were sick and our regular pedi wasn't in that day. We saw a different doctor that asked if they were natural very early in our appt. It turned out that she and her husband were struggling and had already had a couple failed cycles. They were starting the process with the same RE we saw and we ended up having a good conversation and I pointed her to some resources that were helpful to me. So, I'm torn. I want to be available to anyone who is dealing with infertility because I know how isolating it often is, but the majority of people that ask are not in that situation and have no business asking me such personal questions.

Mom to GBG born in July 2009 at 30w6d: 3#10oz, 3#12oz, 3#2oz

You can't really say this until after you have the babies, but the way people usually phrase it to me is "Were they natural?" My usual response is, "um, no, I had to have a cesarean" in a really uncomfortable sounding voice. I know that they're not asking how they came out, they're asking how they got in, but its made more than one person shut up when they realize how personal the question is that they're actually asking.

Morgan
M 17yo
J 5yo
C 3yo
GBG triplets born at 29wks in Jan 2011!

My favorite: "You look good for having triplets." Does that mean I look fat but it's okay because I had three babies?

There was also the redneck who stopped in his pickup truck while we were walking with our triple jogger: "Good thing you ain't the octomom or you'd take up the whole dang road!" Witty.

The best part we have discovered since getting our choo choo wagon is that 95% of the people who stop us now want to ask us about the wagon and not about the kids in it!


Lara
Mom to GGG born at 25+4 on 12/25/09

UGH! People can be so rude. I HATE the fertility questions, even when they're subtle like "do multiples run in your family?", "were you surprised that it was triplets?" etc. It's no one's business to ask those questions!

As my triplets have moved out of the infant stage, I get fewer and fewer people inquiring about how they were conceived. I get a lot of kind comments too, mostly of the "God bless you" variety, or people saying how awesome and what a blessing they are. I will take those any day, they remind me to appreciate my kids even when I am totally overwhelmed.

DS 03/06
BBB 03/09 @ 35 weeks, 1 day
Baby A - 5 lbs 1 oz
Baby B - 6 lbs 8 oz
Baby C - 4 lbs 5 oz

The worse comment for me was when I walking down our main street with my three year old triplets and pushing the stroller with our baby in it and this guy yells out ANGRILY cand super loud from his pick up truck so that EVERYONE could hear him, "YOU NEED TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX!!" It was horrible and embarassing and felt terrible that his voice was so angry with me for having my kids.


http://tripletmomplusone.blogspot.com/

Mom to BBG Triplets and singleton boy. Charlie, Jake and Kaylee are three years old and Sam is one.

This happened over twenty years ago and I am still ashamed of my reaction.

I was crossing the street with my 6 mo trips in the Perego...they were FINALLY asleep.

As I crossed in front of a little old man's car he beeped his horn in excitement upon seeing triplets.

I and the babies were so startled! Well, they started shreaking and I gave the old man the bird brfore I realized he was just a little old man who got a kick out of seeing three babies.

Tami mom to ggg 21 and g 16

I got "are they natural?" I couln't believe it...my husband told me to reply by holding both my breats at the same time and say "Yup, they are natural"...lol

Seriously, I have had this more and more they more I've been bringing them out (they are 2 1/2 now)...the only thing I keep coming up w/is:

"does it run in the family"....lie and say yes

"did you use fertility"....lie and say no

"are they natural"..."yup, all skin and bones"

or another triplet mom told me to say (which I don't think I could) to any question... "I'm sorry, have we met before?" lol or "I'm sorry, I don't want my kids to hear what you are asking me...think about how that makes them feel" (as she is pointing to her ears)..lol ..she says she uses that alot and it makes them think about what an ass they just made of themselves.

I've felt that being honest w/people they look at my kids different.

>
>"did you use fertility"....lie and say no

I'm not sure that one would help. Our trio was spontaneous, but when we truthfully answer no to the fertility question, most of the time they don't believe us and we have to spend twice the effort trying to convince them we are telling the truth!!!



Rebecca

Laura (6)
Lucas (3)
Aubrie, Emily, & Teresa born 7/5/10 at 34w3d.

I don't want to turn this into my vent about rude people, but I just have to tell you about this story from way back when I had toddlers.

--------------

I went to Target once, and as I always do, I parked way away in the back of the parking lot where there isn't as much traffic to worry about. I got the Triple Decker out of the back of the van, and as I was pushing it to the side of the van to start unloading, this car pulled two spaces down and of course they noticed the stroller and stopped to stare.

In the interest of hurrying, I just pushed the stroller up next to the van door instead of setting the brake (it's a flat parking lot). I then used the automatic door opener, and door slid back against the front tire of the stroller. I got the kids out of the van and loaded the stroller. I then tried to move the stroller, but the front tire was wedged sort of under the van door and it was stuck. I sat there tugging and struggling for like 5 minutes.

My audience had grown to 8 people by this point. All of whom stood 10 feet away (4 enjoying ice cream cones), just watching. Not one offered to help me - they just wanted to watch the freak show.

Finally I realized that I could use the keyring thing to close the van door and free the stroller, and I got away, but geez! I was SO frustrated! How could 8 adults just stand there and watch a poor pregnant woman (this was last summer) struggle with a stuck stroller tire and not bother to help???? They just stood back there talking about how terrible it must be to have triplets, and then considered my dilemma to be proof that they were right.

So I feel your pain!

BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d




New baby girl born 9/19/06

Great ideas! These comments have only increased now that it is more apparent I'm pregnant with multiples. I can't go out (which is pretty rare at 34 weeks!) without at least 3 or 4 questions/comments. At first it was amusing...but now more annoying....except for the people who are really positive and just say congratulations and what a blessing, etc. etc.

Once I'm wheeling around the triple decker, plus have my other 2 kids in tow, I can only imagine ..lol !

Mom to Ruby born 8/06 and Marshall 7/08
Expecting triplets 11/18/11

http://lilypie.com>

Last winter my kids were playing on a playground, an older man (I assume he was with his grandkids) asked me if they were triplets. After I said yes, he asked me if they were "family or fertility." I was dumbfounded. All I could do was give him a dirty look.

Jeannine

Boy 4/27/07
BBB 5/1/09 @ 32w5d

Family or Fertility??? WTF!!

Crazy mom to:
DS 10
DS 7
& BBB 5!
9/29/06 born @ 32w2d

I got the same question the other day as I was walking my 3 month old girls around my neighborhood in the triple decker stroller. I responded what do you mean? I wanted one baby was expecting the possibility of 2 babies but got 3...... I don't think anybody plans on having triplets!

I'm appalled at the questions and comments we've all received. Megan's experience, especially.

Yesterday, though, I had the following conversation and my head is still spinning.

Stylist: Oh, you're the mom with the many kids.

Me (trying not to feel judged by her tone): Yep. And I finally made it here today to get my hair cut. I still want to be able to get it into a ponytail, 'cause I have SIX little hands grabbing at my hair.

Stylist: Oh, wow, so you have SIX kids?

Me (dumbfounded): Uhm, no, "just" three kids. They're triplets.

Stylist. Three triplets?

Me (not sure if she understands): Yes, triplets. Three kids.

Stylist: You must have been huge!

I mumbled something and then promptly changed the subject to something that doesn't involve counting or discussing my girth.

I get lots of looks and questions as well, some from total strangers which just makes me roll my eyes.

Today I was walking with my trio in our ABC Adventure buggy (so it has 2 on bottom and 1 on top) and I swear a guy almost drove off the road when he saw it! The best is when I walk towards people and they smile and say, "oh, Twins!" and then as I pass them they turn and see the 3rd one on top and it changes to "OH MY GOD - TRIPLETS!!!" I just smile and say "Yep - three babies". I'm totally proud of them and proud to be out with 3 babies on my own!

One guy even pulled up in his car today as I was crossing the road and wanted to know all about them - names and everything. He was polite about it and said be careful and god bless etc.. so no big deal.

I actually find people alot less rude now than when I was pg. One woman actually stood and pointed and laughed RIGHT AT ME when I was pg. To my FACE! I almost slapped her. I think I was about 31w at the time.

I do think its rude that they ask if it was 'natural' or 'do they run in the family' - but I figure I'm doing a public service by telling them it was IVF. Infertility is like the elephant in the room, so if it helps make it less of a stigma by talking about it, I'm happy to help.

Cheers
Maria

People can be SO rude! To the IVF/fertility treatment question I use the "Have we met before???" or "that's a pretty personal question to ask a complete stranger." if I'm in a good mood and if I'm not it becomes a sweet "First tell me the specifics on how you conceived." Or sometimes I just say "What on earth would make you ask such a personal question? You realize you're asking about my sex life, right? You go first." A lot depends on their approach, if they are over the top rude then they get the latter. If they just seem ignorant I am kinder but make it clear that these are personal questions.

RE: idiots - do all of you get the "twins" thing? I mean when people come up and ask if they're twins and I say no, they're triplets and then they say something along the lines of "Twins but 3 of them then?" Yes. And then they refer to them as the "three twins" for the entire conversation! Or, because mine are BGG they refer to the 2 girls as the twins. Or ask me (in an accusing voice) "Are they REALLY triplets because they don't look alike!" (mine are fraternal)

Oh and no matter how they are dressed it becomes "Why don't you put matching outfits on them?" or "Why don't you dress them differently??"

The most mortifying is that to "Don't you know what causes that?" my husband has replied "yep. we're really good at it." (with a gigantic cat ate the canary grin) and "yep, 3 times in one night.

Honestly, I don't know what people could possibly be thinking sometimes... I have a personal theory that because there are multiples on tv people assume that all of us have lives open to the public or something. As if we all are open to personal questions and content to be a public attraction/public entertainment or something. seems that way sometimes anyway...

I'm sorry. What compels a stranger to ask these sorts of questions? I never thought I'd be bothered by them since I am so proud of my babies but it gets old. I've gotten "you have your hands full" so much I just say "not really" and walk away.

Although I got a "I don't believe you" and an "I'm sorry". Those were new.