Hello I was hoping for some suggestions on how to deal with the triplet jealousy issue. My triplets are 19 mo. old and for the past few months sharing mommy has become an issue for my 2 younger ones. If one sits on my lap the other screams and runs over - pushing and shoving the other off. With me in the middle. I try to share my lap with both but then they just start pushing more. I have tried giving each their time. I have tried just getting up and saying bummer. But not helping.

The second issue I have is with my 5 year old. He was an only for just under 4 years. And he is acting out to get attention. We have reward charts for good behavior - this leads to special outings with mom or dad. Then each day after school he has me for about 1 hour before I start dinner while the babies self occupy. I know it is not as much as he used to have but it is what it is.

By the end of the day I feel like there is not any energy left for me.
I have been stretched so thin. Then there is my husband. Love him and he is loads of help but I still need to plan time for him as well.

I went out for 3 hours last weekend to shop and walk around in circles. You think it was for a month or something.

Mostly, I just want to hide in a closet and let the day pass by. If I am busy doing chores the babies play pretty well together but as soon as I walk into the room they all whine and act out. Not really what I want to listen too. I wish I could just sit down and play with them and it not be a screaming match. I wish my 5 year old would stop being so demanding all the time. Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Colleen

I think sometimes it is tough to be a triplet.. all the times they have to share mommy and tough to be sibling of a triplet.. I don't really have advice for you except for I think it is just part of it. It encourages me to think about the fact that however hard it is on them at times to be a triplet or sibling of a triplet, they are such a gift to each other.. and this far outweights the hard times. The other thing I will say is when I'm at my wits ends I put them in the car and go for a drive and put on music and get myself a treat from the drive-thru. At night wine helps me destress. Also changes of scenery for your young triplets might help and dance parties are a fun way of playing with everyone.. Besides that, just know you are doing a great job and it will pass. I find that to get through everything good and bad I just have to stay in the moment and not thing must past it and I'm sure I don't accomplish as many chores as you do. You sound like super mom... I am not.. My husband and I joke all the time that we need a wife!


http://tripletmomplusone.blogspot.com/

Mom to BBG Triplets and Singleton boy. Our triplets are almost four and our baby is almost two.

Also to escape I love it when I get to go the movies by myself during their naptime on the weekend.. a total escape!

http://tripletmomplusone.blogspot.com/

Mom to BBG Triplets and Singleton boy. Our triplets are almost four and our baby is almost two.

Thanks for the reassurance. I love the blog. Made me laugh a bunch.
Good note to end the day on

Colleen

Good I'm glad... laughing is also a lifesaver with little one How's everything going?


http://tripletmomplusone.blogspot.com/

Mom to BBG Triplets and Singleton boy. Our triplets are almost four and our baby is almost two.

Better in some ways. Nice to know I'm not the only. Or that someone else understands.

Since then (on the 28th) I've had back surgery to alleviate pain from a bulge that the triplets gave me. That pain is gone but it will be a slow recovery.

My honey took off 2 weeks and is doing it all. To make it go by better for him he got a new video game. This makes him SOOOO happy
I get to hang out by myself and take lots of naps so I can heal.
Got 11 weeks more to go.

I'll be glad when I am all pain free and can get back to some resemblance of what i was when I was 26. I might be delusional but it is a hope to get back to that strength level and energy level and start being really active again.

I'll be checking your blog for more funnies.
-Colleen

Colleen

My trio is 25 months and when they act jealous I put them down. They are not allowed to sit on me if they are going to be mean to the other child on my lap. If the behavior was bad enough I make them apologize to the child before they are allowed to sit on me again. This even goes with floor play (when I am playing on the floor with them).

We still have this at 4.5, and sometimes refusing to give them time if they won't share works...sometimes it doesnt. When they all want my time "alone" I use a timer and set it for X minutes and tell them it is Baby A's turn until the timer goes off (Child of the day gets first shot). They know they each get their time, they know that they have until the timer goes off, and it is the timer, rather than me, they are mad at when their turn is over.

This has been the only solution that has worked long term for us. Giving them extra time is helpful only when they are "dealing with something" such as boo boos, scared, mad at sibling, etc.


Susan

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07




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I used to get up and leave when mine did that. They grow out of that, thank God. Toddlers view the world as only theirs. This is a developmental thing that gets better as they begin to view themselves as part of the world, not the entire world.

My kids are spaced similarly. We've been dealing with pretty much the same here. Some days I feel like running away!! LOL OR I start saying Calgon, take me away!! I have only one real jealous one. When they get rough I take them off me. My oldest yesterday got sent to his room because he was rough with me and I was getting hurt. But I try to remember this is the time for separation anxiety etc. and so I try to be patient with it, but I hate that I have to put them in their room with the gate up just to get them out of my hair!!

Mom to 4
Nate6/5/2006
GBG Triplets 6/8/2010
Madeleine
Denis
Elizabeth

I don't have an older child, so I'm sure that is doubly-tough, but we DEFINITELY have the jealousy thing with our trio who just turned 26 months. Especially the baby, he wants undivided attention. There's a few things I do:
1. I try to sit on the floor to read with them. That enables me to spread out my legs like I can't in a chair so that one can sit on each thigh and one can sit in between the other two on the ground btwn my legs. It's tricky to read a book that way but at least they all get lap time.
2. B/c I have such readers, if I am sitting in a chair, we rotate. Each one gets to pick a book. So they each bring me one book. On one leg goes Will and the other goes Lillie. I read Will's book and take him off and put Sam there. I read Lillie's book and take her off and put Will back on where she was and then read Sam's book. That means they each get lap time for two of the three stories.
3. Recently my husband and I have moved from the group bath to the individual bath. This has been PRECIOUS time. I bathe one alone and he gets to play with two, then we swap and he bathes one, and I play with two, etc. They're totally different one on one.

Granted, most of the time they are all three together. And often that leads to fighting which is hard. And I feel guilty but it is what it is. So I think if you can implement turn taking early plus implement a little one on one time here or there (i.e., Sam helps me make coffee, Lillie comes to my bedroom w/me when I change, Will waters the lawn w/my DH), then it goes a long way.
Good luck!
http://vincenttriplets.blogspot.com/