Hmm, that's tough. Mine usually do better when they're outside.

The only thought off the top of my head is that playing outside is a privilege, and if they fight you either a) take away the toy they're fighting over or b) put one/both of the fighters in the house for 5 min (preferably watching everyone else out the window!).

If there are particular items/issues causing the fight, I have sometimes purchased more (so there is one for everyone) but I find that what they want to play with changes frequently so I don't often buy three of something. One thing that has caused a lot of fights in the last year or two was when one of the kids got on a bike that was not his/hers, and then the owner would scream bloody murder. So we have a rule that a child cannot get on another child's bike without permission; violation of this rule is an immediate time-out-inside.

When my kids are outside I don't usually go out with them. A mom friend of mine suggested telling the kids "I'll come out in a little while" then gradually lengthening that time before coming out. My husband is always outside with the kids though, because he loves being outside, and is usually puttering in the garage or working on the landscaping.

None of that probably helped! Good luck.

Mary (41) happily married to Case (45) since 7/2000

Stay-at-home mom to Madelyn Anne, born 10/31/04

and GBG triplets: Laura Catherine (4 lb 8 oz), Andrew William (4 lb 9 oz) and Elise Nicole (4 lb 7 oz) born 3/15/07 at 34w 1d

Uh, hello, don't go outside with them. I haven't gone outside with mine since they were four. If they're fighting, I can't hear them so they have to work it out themselves. That's the whole reason I send them outside. Cut the umbilical cord.

And another thing, my kids have whole imaginary elaborate worlds outside. I am not part of them. I just occasionally come by and take note of them.

Okay, well I won't go into neighborhood safety but I will say this. I have noticed that if I'm around my kids while they play, someone will usually find a way to tattle or bait me into intervening. Someone is usually left out or unhappy, etc.. If you've ever watched GOOD preschool and elementary school teachers on a playground, you'll see that they allow kids to work stuff out themselves. I have no idea what the situations are that lead to the fighting, but I might think about how to remove myself from it...even if I have to physically be present for safety reasons. Just food for thought...

Susanne

gbg @ 31.6
5/2006

As far as safely playing outside... we have a backyard that is 3/4 fenced in--it is open next to the driveway, i.e., if you walk down the driveway you can get to the road, otherwise there is no exit route. One thing that we have done is cut the ends off an old garden hose and lay it across the driveway; if they cross the hose they immediately come inside for timeout. We started this when the triplets were 2 and it's amazing, we never gave any warnings (boom, in the house) and they learned so quickly. Sometimes I peek outside the window when they don't know I'm watching and they never ever cross the hose. Last summer when the triplets were 4 we never had a single incident where the crossed the hose! Not only is the hose a visual barrier but it's a nice speedbump for bikes/scooters/cozy coupes too. We could make the whole driveway off limits I suppose, but we have a double-wide flat driveway and they love riding on toys/bikes on the driveway.

As far as playing outside unsupervised, we live in town on a city street (a smallish town, but not in a super-safe area) and we never let the kids play in the front yard. I let them go outside alone but I try to either stay in the back family room (with windows all around to watch them) or I run to the back and check on them every few minutes. When I'm not out with them I put the garden hose further back so they are always in my line of sight from the back of the house. This has gone ok so far, and I always figure, there are four of them (including my 7 year old) and if one gets hurt or there is a major naughty episode, one of them will come get me if it happens to be during the two minutes between checking on them.

Mary (41) happily married to Case (45) since 7/2000

Stay-at-home mom to Madelyn Anne, born 10/31/04

and GBG triplets: Laura Catherine (4 lb 8 oz), Andrew William (4 lb 9 oz) and Elise Nicole (4 lb 7 oz) born 3/15/07 at 34w 1d

First on the safety issue. We have a completely safe and fenced off backyard but I still go outside to monitor play time but try to make them work out most of the stuff and only intervene on major problems. This is the attitude of their classroom teachers too...work it out!
The front yard is pretty safe too since we are in a cul de sac and we are all the way up on the top of it so you only drive up the street for a reason. However, I always stay outside when they play in the front because I think stranger danger is crazy scary! I think times are different! Yes, there were dangers in the 70s, but so many kids played outside back then that there were power in numbers. Now, so few kids play outside...often mine are the only ones playing outside so I will be out there to monitor them. Plus, our neigborhoods have walking trails and although this is a nice feature, it encourages many adults to walk...too much can happen so fast!
As far as fighting, they lose the privilage to play outside if they fight and can't work it out on their own. The other thing is to encourage them to be interested in the environment and not just the outside toys (bikes, scooters, jungle gym). I take advantage of looking for flowers, bugs, playing tag, making up street games in the cul de sac, etc. Things they can't do inside with toys.

Agapi

Proud Mommy of
Kaden, Rowen, Kai
BGB 03-22-05

I just try to not let their fighting become my problem. I turn the radio louder or do something that helps my attention get off their situations. If they come to me, I will give them an idea or two on how to solve their situation (share, take turns, trade toys after 5 mins) and tell them they have 1 minute to figure it out or the problem item gets taken away. I just take it away if it comes to that. Just kinda "bummer, if you guys can't find a solution I will use MY solution". Not mad, not a punishment. Just matter of fact. Maybe the toy will come back out later or maybe it'll come back out the next time. Depends on how they are doing.

Laura & Don
BBB 5/05
www.ourbighappy.blogspot.com

"

Sorry I just saw your reply where you said it wasn't possible to let them go out alone. Maybe you could having "centers" where can put a labeled picture of each outdoor activity and they have each have clothespins that they place on the center they want to go to. And each center lasts 5 minutes and then they come choose something else?

Because of everyones suggestions, it has gotten better. I do try not to interfere and stay on the porch with my iphone. It is out of the way but still with in ear and eye. 90% of the time they are getting along now. If they come to me with a silly argument or tattle I let them know that outside time is over and they can take a nap instead. That WORKS!!!! I only get involved if someone is hurt.

Thanks everyone. I am not a facebooker so I still come here for advice.

Suzan

g/g/b August 21, 2005
my miracle 24 weekers!!!!

Giving triplets the attention they deserve is impossible. Every child deserves to be a singleton.

Get down on that ground and play their game. Why wouldn't you? They should be your best friends. Wear something you don't care about. Laugh and play with them. Go from best friend to CRAZY STRICT PARENT when they fight. Then bounce back to best friend.

The "mine" game is the worst. I was neglected at youth, my brother got everything. All I wanted was my fair share. Imagine being a triplet, put yourself in their shoes. None of them feel special like a singleton because none of them are a singleton.

The best thing you can do is reward positive actions. When you explain to baby B that baby A has been extremely helpful this morning and that is why he/she gets to swing....baby B starts being good in the same ways, maybe even better. I'm going to make a thread about this, but I will start this now in caps. THE BEST DISCIPLINE PLAN STARTS WITH POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. I rarely have to discipline my children at all because I follow this rule. I'll explain more in the thread. going there now.