Hi everyone. I am a triplet stay at home dad. TONS of people have complimented us on having great mannered triplets. I have very unorthidox training as a stay at home triplet dad who grew up with no POSITIVE role models, due to me making my own rules. You will see more posts and I hope I don't seem egotistical or rude.

Triplet Discipline;

I grew up with no positive role models in my life. I had to learn from scratch. I knew lots of stay at home dads let their kids get away with too much. And I know how I was. I don't want kids as angry, cold and crazy as me.

I started researching discipline methods. There were tons of them. Most are familiar with time outs, spankings, super nanny time outs, maybe yelling and hopefully not hitting. Hitting and yelling is what was used for me. I chose the path of the better, not the same.

Step 1. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Step 1 is the only step you need if you start early enough. This may only be the case for triplets, I dont know. But triplets is all that I have. Constantly.........constantly..........constantly .....reward positive behavior. This takes lots of energy. But guess what. The opposite is 3 children going crazy trying to figure out what makes you happy. The only thing children want is to make you happy. When you start rewarding it, they start competing. They start trying their hardest to be the one that makes you happy. _->> NOTE;One will always win this battle. They will do more than the others to make you happy. But this leads to the others possibly throwing in the towel. Never favor. My brother was the favorite...but I would like to think that I am a pretty decent guy.

Step 2. Show disappointment. This isn't new or old. Think about yourself today. Think about the person you look up to the most. How do you feel when they are disappointed in you? Bad, you want to do better. But if that person gets mad and/or screams at you...what do you think about them? From disappointment to hatred. When you use positive reinforcement enough, the kids HATE disappointment.

There is no step 3 for me. I do time outs but I don't keep them in for a set period amount of time. If they have been good long enough for me to feel bad they are in there I have a talk with them. If they are calm enough to hear the talk, I let them out. I do spank but only when they are in bed, or should be. Time out's would only make them play games to get out of bed to sit in the corner and be cute.

PLEASE........PLEASE.....dont think this was a know it all thread. I was an abused and neglected child. I just reversed everything I went through to make sure my kids didn't go through the same. The reaction from other people has been amazing. Lots have asked how but I don't have time or gutts to tell my friends.

I hope this helps at least one person.

Attachment #1, (youtube file)

Thanks & good job! Sounds like you're doing great! Mine are 16 mo & I hope we're headed in the right direction. So far so good!

Debbie, proud Mom of triplet girls:
Amelia, Jordyn & Olivia
born 10/28/10 at 35 wks & 4 days

Yep, sounds like you're doing great! Thanks for the reminders! Always trying to figure out how to do the job well.

hi - it's late at night - my GORGEOUS AWESOME AMAZING ggg's are sleeping peacefully & i am once again feeling upset/frustrated/sad/mad
that my dh thinks that children should be ordered to do things, never asked nicely and yells - what's going on? stop that right this minute - get over here -
and never - well, almost never says anything complimentary to them

how dare he treat our miracle almost 4 year old - SUPER well behaved girls like this?
i've tried talking with him, pleading, - you name it - the only time he is sort of sweet with them is when i'm having a bad day

it hurts so much as i received similar treatment and so did he - i thought that he would be on the same wave as me having suffered with that type of abuse and neglect and that we would BOTH be using the positive reinforcement loving guidance type of child rearing.

thanks for letting me vent

When I was a teacher (first and second grade) my discipline focused on a sticker chart called "I was caught being good". Rather than telling one group of kids they needed to stop talking so they could get their work done, I rewarded a different group and told them to go give themselves a sticker for working so quietly. Without saying one negative word, the talking group usually quit talking because they wanted a sticker as well. Once they had 20 stickers, that got a reward.

When I became a mom, I brought the same principle home and rewarded good behavior with a sticker chart. When they were doing something wrong, I would have them take a sticker off the chart and let them know I was sad about their behavior. Yes, they sometimes get timeouts, but mainly when they are so upset and out of control, they need time by themselves to cool off.

I try to remember that discipline means "to teach" and not "to punish". They often don't know when they are doing something wrong and need to be taught. Rather than just saying "no" to a two year old all day, tell them what they are doing wrong and give them a better choice. ex. You are standing on the couch. You need to sit on your bottom so you don't fall and hurt yourself. I also said quite a bit,"couches are for sitting". I had my kids behave at home the way I would want them to behave in public. We never got rid of furniture or took knick kncks off tables. I just taught them not to touch and when they did, I brought it to their attention and told them it was Mommy's and gave them something else to hold. It's a lot of work up front, but in the long run it's worth it. I get complements all the time on how well behaved my kids are. I let my kids know people are watching them all the time so it's their responsibility to act the correct way.

Liz

Adam-12
Jake-10
Andrew, Luke, and Kaitlyn-7