Well today is my 2nd day home alone with the babes and I feel like I am doing an awful job. Yesterday my grandma came over to help, but today no one was available to pitch in. It's 1230 and I still haven't had anything to eat, haven't brushed my teeth, gone to the bathroom, it's been at least 5 hours since I last pumped and I now have Dolly Parton boobs. Why am I taking what few moments I have to post, well I needed to vent because I know you all understand. ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! I just checked on the babies and 2 down one to go. My son never wants to sleep. The past 3 nights they all three won't go to sleep. If they would lay quietly in their beds awake that would be one thing, but they all fuss nonstop, that is until they are picked up. We are at our wits end! My husband went to work with 2 hours of sleep. I get to nap when they do, but he is running on empty which sucks because he is such a GRUMP! Someone please tell me when they start a more consistent wake sleep eat cycle.

Jenni
Angel baby James 11/26/02 21w6d
Anna, Audrey, and Andrew 10/31/03 29w2d

Jenni,
i just wanted to write and say you are doing an amazing job!! it is the hardest thing in the entire world to try to parent on zero sleep! you are doing a full-full-full-time job and it is physically, emotionally draining, i know i don't need to tell you that. I would bet that even in a week you will be figuring things out a little more. those first days are very strenuous and it is so much to take on alone. i didn't have a lot of help either, once a week or so my MIL would pop in to say hi, but my husband was only working 3 days a week.
one thing we did in that very early on stage was do shifts. by 8 pm i was a zombie, so i would pump and go to bed and he would take full duty. i would wake at about 2 am, pump, and take over (or unless i heard too much crying for too long). it was nice because then each of us got at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
always remember that there is nothing wrong with letting a baby cry for a few minutes. just let them scream for 30 seconds while you go to the bathroom, or wolf down a bowl of cereal. you NEED to be eating for their sake if you are pumping. it is essential. so don't be afraid to swaddle them or strap them in a car seat or swing, put them in another room and shut the door for 2 minutes. it can be a sanity saver. since i was home alone with them like you are, those two minutes were enough time for me to take a few deep breaths, wipe my tears, regroup and remind myself, "i can do this!"
i also highly recommend the book "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He is an expert on sleep and his book discusses sleep patterns and needs for ALL stages of development, even brand new borns. just thought i'd mention that since you asked about eat/sleep patterns.
Hope your day goes a little better!

Meg

Oh Meg, i just had to laugh when you said, "Take a few deep breathes, wipe my tears, regroup, and remind myself i can do this." I can't tell you how many times i had to do this. I would make sure the babies were safe then step out on the front porch breathe and cry for a few minutes... then everything was ok again. Such memories, i wouldn't trade it for the world. Thanks for the reminder

Beth
Dylan-8
Tommy,Karli,Abby- 10/14/02 32w 2d

Beth
Dylan-12
Tommy,Karli,Abby- 5yrs. 32w 2d

((((Jenni))))) I vaguely remember those days! One of my DD"s also had a feeding tube so I had to be up to tube feed her every 3 hours. I remember crying hysterically every time I heard a baby cry b/c I didn't want to get up! There were days I didn't get out of my pj's of brush my teeth or get a shower......DH and I fought over who needed more sleep..... We ended up taking alternate nights. I 've heard of others doing half the night each. Best advice, nap when the babies do. I thought that was a load of cr*p at first but it's really the only chance you get. Don't worry about the housework,showering etc. Eating is a biggie though-those babies need a healthy mommy so try to sneak in a few bites now and then. In a couple of years you might even get a hot meal again! Eating and drinking is essential to keeping up your milk supply too. You may have to resort to letting someone cry while you pump/pee/etc. My pump was in the bathroom so I could do both at once! hee hee
I have a Halloween baby too-he's 26 months now. At 3 months, yours should be getting ready to do a 5-7 hour stretch. So, you may start getting some more rest soon! One thing to check, if you rock or nurse them to sleep-to be sure they are really asleep and not playing possum on you, lift an arm or leg and let it drop. If the baby is really limp, he or she is asleep. Otherwise, you have a snoozer who will wake as soon as they hit the (cold) sheets in the crib!(Nothing is cozier than mommy or daddy's warm arms!) I hope this helps! Hang in there sweetie, they will all sleep soon!

Korrie~
^i^B/G/G 24 w 3d,1/17/00
B 10/31/01
B 1/27/03

<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="" alt="Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>

Hang in there Jenni!!!

Are you swaddeling them nice and tight to get them to sleep? When we started bringing ours home from the hospital I could not figure out why they were not the same quiet, peaceful babies that we visited everyday...I had completely forgotten about the swaddeling. My guys loved it and slept so much better once I remembered.

Also, try to stay calm. Take care of one thing at a time. I found the times that I was really wound up and upset, the babies reacted the same way.

Good luck...you can do it!!!

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02, 33w6d
(I'm not new to the boards, I just changed my screen name.);)

Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

Jenni,
I so remember those days and I commiserate with you. I adore my lovies but I would not go back to those days for a million dollars. The good news is that it is very short lived and soon they will be smiley happy babies that sleep well. Work towards getting them on a schedule and it will help dramatically. Mine wouldn't sleep in their beds but tightly swaddled in their carseats worked wonderful. You are not doing an awful job- you've just been landed in a very difficult situation. Once you get the juggling act down you will be fine. Trust me!! Today is only your second day and it is going to get much much better each day. We also ate a lot of crock pot foods in those early days because it takes very little preparation. Check out the recipes forum. It always helps to have a full tummy and good smells in the house.

Theresa
mom to Amelia-8yrs
Katherine- 6yrs
Sam, Jane, & Sarah- 5/26/01

Theresa
DD-9
DD-7
GBG- 3.5

BABYWISE,BABYWISE,BABYWISE!!! That's all I can say! You have to buy that book. It's an infant management program that works wonders! I used it and my babies were sleeping 10 hours through the nights by 11 weeks, and 8 hours by 9 weeks. You can't go wrong and it's a quick read. But make sure you find time to eat if you're nursing/pumping! Keep up that milk! Good Luck!



Karen,Paul
Ethan,Dylan,& Parker
3/24/03
33weeks, 4 days

Karen - blessed wife to Paul,
Proud mom to spontaneous boys
3/24/03
God is soooo good!

Hi! We use The Contented Little Baby Book - did for our first son as well, and it is great. Some find it too strict, but it still has a lot of good suggestions in it. Ours were sleeping through from 7 - 7 at three months. You can do ANYTHING on that much sleep!!!! It is all short lived no matter HOW you do it, and I did much better getting up at night this time around. With my first son everything seemed like it was going to last forever. It doesn't!!!

A biggie - strive to shower EVERY DAY. It is impossible, but if you aim for EVERY day and get one in every other day, you will feel FANTASTIC. I also bought ready-made sandwiches and thigns like that. Fairly nutritious, I could eat them with one hand, and you will need something to keep the milk flowing!

Good luck. I know it seems impossible and nightmarish, but SOON - VERY SOON - it will all be a memory. I look at my six-month olds now and can barely remember the monitor squawking at me all night long!

Ali

Jack - 10 years old
Abraham, Dylan and Zane - 8 years
and now . . . . Tobias, 2 years old!

Jenni!!!! ((((HUGS!))))) My babies began to have a schedule in their 3rd month, and by 4 months we had a fairly predictable schedule. Here are some survival tips. Feel free to pick & choose what might be best adapted for you:

* You do not need to shower every day, nor should you be expecting to shower every day. At that stage I was lucky if I showered once a week.

* You do not need clean clothes every day. At that stage I was lucky if I changed clothing once a week (or longer). Heck, I went topless every day, anyway, due to breastfeeding! LOL

* You do not need to brush your teeth every day. Okay, yes, you're supposed to, but for most people it's okay to slack off for a few days.

* You DO need to eat & drink, not just for your own body, but for your milk supply. You must not let this slack, but I know you will because there's just not much time. Therefore, you do not need to eat a "meal" when you eat. If you can learn to wolf down something, anything, with as few chews as possible, and wash it down with as many swallows of milk as you can chug, you will be able to eat "more" in less time. If you like granola bars or other quickie power foods, stock up! "Heat 'n eat" and "just unwrap it" are good things to look for in foods for the next couple months.

* Babies need to learn day from night. Keep the lights off/dim, TV & music off, and no conversations after 8:00 pm.

* Babies do not need to be bathed every day. Pick one a day, bathe in the evening, and put them to bed.

* You absolutely must NOT skip nursing or pumping sessions. This will dry you up like the Sahara in no time. Even if it's just for 5 minutes, you must stimulate your breasts.

* It's okay if you strap them in their car seats, put them in the laundry room, then turn on the dryer. The steady sound & warmth may help them sleep.

* It's okay if you have to use swings to get them to sleep.

* It's especially okay if you take them to bed with you, one at a time, of course! This works even better if they are nursing! There are ways to have a baby in bed with you and not suffocate him/her in bed linens or pillows, nor roll over on the baby. This is often the very best way to teach a baby to sleep at nigh, plus you get bonding time. It sure worked for me!!!!

* Do not waste time at diaper change time trying to determine if a baby's disposable diaper is wet or not. Just change the diaper. You can save minutes & gain loving mommy time by lining all the babies up on the floor, right next to each other, and changing them one at a time. This way they can interact with you & each other, they get the benefit of your time, they can't roll off, and you can all sing songs or whatever.

* You are not going to die from sleep exhaustion. You will want to, but you won't.

Tulip & The Three Amigos
Born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!
Aimee, Let's bump heads!
Edward, Rollin' Rollin' Rollin', Got to keep on rollin'!
Hope, Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!
http://www.tripletconnection.org/dcforum/forum1/14349.html

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that are my children has made me Real.

Hang in there, Jenni!!

I have nothing to add to what's been said, except that you can shorten your list even more...

Simply make a PRIORITY list. Your priority has to be:

1. Keep yourself fed and hydrated.
2. Breastfeed babies/pump whenever needed.
3. Change diapers as needed.

Nothing else is priority. If you keep your focus on these top three priorities, everything else will fall into place. You will become more adept at swaddling and hear less crying in fairly short order. You will also become more accustomed to the crying in short order, and the babies will become more accustomed to their new homes in short order and will also learn to entertain themselves more.

Fragmented focus will cause you to feel completely overwhelmed, so do not go there. Each hour or so, check your priority list. If you haven't eaten or had liquids or haven't nursed/pumped, head that direction, rather than focusing on the crying, etc. -- unless that can be dealt with by nursing a baby... Capiche??

Oh, and don't be worried -- if your baby is crying from an urgent need, you WILL be able to tell the difference and that will become your immediate priority. It's just that, initially, you are getting easily stirred up by the crying, and that is distracting you from setting your life to order.

Good luck and hang in there!!

Cat

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

Hillyt mom to
Ian 5
Ella, Jillian, and Holly 4 months


First- it does get easier- at least most days are easier. About 12 weeks or so for me and every day gets a little better.

The first few days alone I felt like I was in a three stooges movie. Everything that could go wrong did, and the pumping was killing me.
The babies cried all the time and I ran around trying to make them stop.

Take a breath. It will not kill them to cry for a few minutes- mine are living proof. Even if they cry the whole time you pump- it is okay.

Take breaks- do only what has to be done- know it is temporary insanity and will get better.

Hillyt mom to
Ian 10
Ella, Holly, Jilly 5
Hadley 2

Hi Jenni,

You are doing a fabulous job! Not so long ago we were there too. Now we are well rested most nights. Our babies are now 6 months. They started sleeping 8-10 hours at about 12 weeks. You're almost there!

I agree with the person who suggested "Healthy Sleep Habits.." We also read Dr. Ferber's book and Babywise, of course.

I know it is hard. I love my sleep & am not myself when I don't get it.

One of my friends told me that I don't have to entertain my babies all the time. That helped me a lot.

You are doing a great job!!! It will get easier when they are sleeping through the night. It isn't too far away!

Kari and Erik
g/g/g 6/13/03

Jenni- I think you are taking the most important step right now-getting away-even for just 10 minutes. I always took the attitude that it wouldn't hurt them to cry for 10 minutes. Take the time to do the routine things like showering, brushing your teeth, emailing a friend. Those little things help you to feel better when dealing with crying babies. I've done multiples twice now and got to fix all of the mistakes I made with my twins when I had my triplets. The thing that I did right both times was getting them on a very strict schedule. The method I used was basically the same as in the book Babywise. It was tough letting them cry it out sometimes or making them wait 20 minutes to eat, but I had them on a very good schedule within just a few days. They didn't sleep through the night, but their wake times were very predictable. Also, I always kept in mind that things would get so much easier when they slept through the night. The one thing that concerned me most about your post is when you said " they all fuss nonstop, that is until they are picked up." They need to learn how to entertain themselves and just "be." I think it is something they have to learn to do. I don't know how long your babies were in the hospital, but mine were in 3 weeks (two girls) and 2 months. When they came home, they were already on a very routine schedule, and we just kept it. If you ever want to talk further, please email me. My girls are 5 months now and very predictable. My twins are 7 years old and they too are still on such a good routine. Now if my single would just be as good.

I read your post and was transported to just over a year ago. It brings tears to my eyes and I truly know how you feel!

You really need to eat and drink if you are going to breast feed. It is the most important thing you can do other than sleep (and we know that is not an option). I ate a lot of granola bars, cold cereal, apples, bananas and water, water, water. Very quick easy things. You need to take care of your self now as well as the babies.

We came home on a four hour schedule which worked very well for us! 8:00, 12:00, 4:00, etc. I see your trio was born at 29 weeks so I don't know if they can handle that but it is worth a shot. I fed each baby for 30 min (1.5hr) pumped for 20 min cleaned bottles and pumping gear for 10 min and had 2 hours to sleep if the babies let me. I don't think during the day I ever took a nap but DH did feed them for the 8:00 pm feeding. I pumped around 7:30 pm and went straight to bed until the 12:00 am feeding giving me 4 hours of sleep. Plus the few hours between the 12:00 am and the 4:00 am. Let DH worry about food, bottles, laundry, etc. If he sleeps after you are up for the 12:00 am feeding until he gets up for work then you should both be able to get at least 4 hours or more. Also on the weekends let him do baby duty and sleep when you can between pumping sessions. I know it is so hard to work out but you can do it! I think my legs are now very muscular from bouncing the bouncy seats while I fed and pumped. LOL

I had no help other than DH and he had a very long drive to work so I wanted to make sure he got sleep at night so he did not sleep on the road and because he was our bread winner once the babies were born and I did not want him making careless mistakes at work. The good news is it is not forever and you can do this!!! I only breast fed for 4 months. They never latched on and once old enough they liked the bottle better than me! I decided once they were sleeping thru I needed to also and my supply just vanished about that point so I gave it up. I truly felt for me it was a choice between exhausting myself or being a better parent. I wish I could have had that breast feeding bond but because I fed each individually I think I have the same type of bond as moms who bf. I never proped or fed two at a time just to make sure I gave that special one-on-one time to each (I could have saved many hours but did it for me!!) This time for me and DH was so straining but things are better now and I realize what different emotions being a parent, let alone a parent times three, men and women have. DH is not "needed" by these babies right now nor is he given the attention he used to have from you and he is now supporting three babies. My DH did not deal well with all of this nor did he realize what emotions I was going through! I know it is tuff but for now just ignore his grumpy moods. I promise it will get better in time!

Sorry to be so long winded but I want you to know you are not alone!

Kim, Mom to
Logan Kenneth "I wish I were an only child"
Erin Louise "I love my brothers!"
Connor Andrew "I've gotta keep moving"
12/12/02 33w5d

Kim, Mom to
Logan Kenneth - Our future bull rider
Erin Louise -Our future ballerina/cowgirl
Connor Andrew - Our future artist

I have been there with the feeling of needing to pump and feed them, plus take care of yourself. Here is what I did:

* keep them on a schedule; my guys came home on a 3 hour schedule, and we moved to a 4 hour at 2 months
* when they were tiny, I fed them (or we if I had help, which, admittendly, I usually did), burped, changed or whatever, then put them in the swings to sleep while I pumped. I moved to the EASY routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You Time) when they were older, but not untl around 4 months. During this time, I did whatever worked.
* I ate and drank while I pumped, every time!
* If someone was really fussy, I would put them in a bouncy seat beside me and bounce it while I pumped, or lay them across your legs and sway them gently while you pump.
* I realized that sometimes (not all of the time), it was ok for them to cry for 5 min or so. It was hard for me, but sometimes they had to. If I was almost done pumping, they had to wait a few minutes, and if I needed a shower, then they had to wait a couple of minutes
* For me, showering EVERY DAY is a necessity. No, it doesn't kill you to go a few days, but you will feel much better about yourself, and personally, I function better & am in a better mood if I'm clean. Brushing your teeth doesn't take much time, and you'll feel better. You are a mom now, and that's the most important thing you do, but, if you need a shower, please take one. You'll be a better mom when you get out.
* Please make sure you eat. It's very important, period, but especially so if you are providing b/m for your babies.
* I don't know your situation and history with b/f, but is it possible to get them back to the breast? I didn't think it would be with my guys, but at 3.5 months we tried, and they nursed. I didn't get to stop pumping alltogether, but it cut down on my time. I had gotten to the point when I had to choose whether they needed me or my milk more, and I won. I still pumped until they were 1 (2 weaned at 5.5 months), but also b/f one until he weaned last week at 15.5 months.
* A schedule is sanity in our situaion (or at least for most of us it is). Feed them all at the same time, and try to keep them all on the same schedule. That will allow you some you time, which is a necessity!

Good luck! It does get much easier, I promise. You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work!

Paula
mom to Jackson, Ryan and Collin, born 9/14/02 at 31 w

Paula P-F