In the past, I have prided in myself with the fact that I have developed a thick skin in regards to the prejudices and many cruel comments made by ignorant people about people with disabilities. But as of late, certain remarks and the ignorance of some people have really been bothering me. It's like I just want to shake sense into these people. I guess the ignorance is a little easier to deal with compared to the comments that are directed to purposely hurt, kwim?
Anyway, just wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar? Does it bother you some days and not others?

BOO!
Gina
12yo G
9yo BGG

I can't stand people who say certain stuff. Or the people who think it is funny to send around a picture of a guy with Down syndrome even knows my kids don't suffer from Downs i still think it is wrong and have for a very long time. I can't stand people that think it is the end of the world if their child has something wrong with them. I know it is hard both of my boys have spastic cerebral palsy and watching hayden struggle when he was with us was hard and watching preston struggle now is hard at times. I just want to shake these people and tell them to get over and do what they can to help their child. It is not the child's fault if they have something wrong with them so why do the parents have to be so stupid at times. It drives me crazy. Their are so many people that would love a child that has disabilities and would appreciate it if they could have a child of their own. Sorry to ramble on.
jaclyn

Jaclyn

http://thesheridangang.blogspot.com/

Jackie,
My favorite thing to say is "I pity those who pity us for having a child with a disability."
We see life in a different light, something that the general public will never have the pleasure of seeing.
I also will never understand (and never have--even before Katie was born) why people find joy in intentionally making fun of a disability or a person with a disability. The only conclusion I can come up with is just plain fear and ignorance.
Thank you for responding to my post. Just knowing that others understand makes my vent worthwhile.

BOO!
Gina
12yo G
9yo BGG

Yes!!!! I totally understand! my DIL's are very intelligent (to the point of snobby) people, yet when it comes to Down syndrome, they are sooooo ignorant and it REALLY bothers me when they make STUPID comments. It drives me crazy that even after talking to them over and over, they still say, "oh, Malena has a very mild case." Ugghhhh! Some days, I just let it go, and others, I just have to speak up. I guess for me, it just depends on how much energy I have at the time.


Maryann
Mommy to
Malena, Joshua, and Jacob
born 12/20/03 @ 34w5d

Visit us at
www.kwiat3.blogspot.com

Marryann,
It irritates me also when someone states "Oh, she/he has a mild case of Down Syndrome." A person either has it, or doesn't with Downs. Of course, there are differences cognitively.
I have a SIL (notice that I ommited "dear") who made the comment that her own brother was "this close to having down syndrome" because her mother was way past her due date. Isn't that the most ridiculous comment you have ever heard? Her brother does have some cognitive issues, but functions very well. He has a good job in manufacturing and just recently completed a tour in Iraq with the army.
Anyway, I think the hardest part for me to date with Katie, is the ignorance of society and when people find pleasure in demeaning a person who has a disability. It is something that I will never understand.

BOO!
Gina
12yo G
9yo BGG

That's why God gave US these special children to raise! I hate it when I am in the grocery store and my son has a meltdown because I won't let him play with the door (an OCD thing). So obviouly I'm having a difficult time...does everyone need to stop in their tracks and stare at us? Sometimes they are more empathetic if they see mee signing to him (usually because they think he's deaf rather than autistic). Occasionally (or rarely) someone will lend a hand or just give a kind word of encouragement or smile. It would be sooo nice if more people would do that.

Gina,

Your SIL's words just go to show how LITTLE is known about Down syndrome, and how that negatively affects our kids. So frustrating! I have only had to hear the demeaning one time so far, and that was second hand. A son of my DH's ex-boss obviously did not know about Malena, and told my DH, "It's so easy to use, a person with Down syndrome could even do it." referring to a video camera. Unfortunately, my DH said nothing, but I wanted to go back and tell him (calmly of course :} ) how ignorant and hurtful that comment was.

Hang in there!


Maryann
Mommy to
Malena, Joshua, and Jacob
born 12/20/03 @ 34w5d

Visit us at
www.kwiat3.blogspot.com

Maryann,

Wow, I get that "mild case" all the time!! I even have people ask if Anna will grow out of it (down syndrome) Sometimes I just have to laugh it off, I guess I didn't know all that much before either.

I have really learned that our special needs children really and truly are a gift from God. They are so special and fill up our hearts that maybe others really can't understand.

Jane
Anna/Emma/John/^James^ (9/24/03-9/29/03) 26 wkers
In memory of my beloved Emma 9/24/03 - 1/19/07
www.snanimals.com
www.jlperillo.etsy.com (my etsy shop)
http://snanimals.blogspot.com (my blog)

Gina, Maryann, and Jane,
I recently read the most wonderful book that I know you would love. It is called "Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives" edited by Kathryn Lynard Soper with a forward by Martha Sears RN. I highly highly recommend this book for parents as well as health care providers. It is beautifully done!

On the back of the book, it states "In this candid and poignant collection of personal stories, sixty-three mothers describe the gifts of respect, strength, delight, perspective, and love which their child with Down Syndrome has brought to their lives....Their diverse experiences point to a common truth: The life of a child with Down Syndrome is something to celebrate. These women have something to say~not just to other mothers but to all of us."

If you have not read this book, I would urge you to get it today. It just came out in 2007.

Take care...

Cynthia
DS-7/99
BBB born 8/04 at 31 4/7 weeks

PS: There are a lot of idiots out there and maybe you can't fix their stupidity, but this book does help open eyes one person at a time.

Cynthia
DS-7/99
BBB born 8/04 at 31 4/7 weeks

I have been thinking about this a lot lately too, wondering if it will get easier or if I will always be this sensitive?? I just wish I could let the stupid and insensitive comments just roll of my back, but I am the kind of person who holds all that in for days and lets it get to me. I don't want to be like that.
I got so sick of all the comments and "advice" we got from everyone while trying to get pg, then all the stupid things people would say when they found out you were pg with trips and now all the comments to your face and under their breath as your triple stroller rolls by.......and now to top it all off the "advice" and comments I get about Eryn's autism. My MIL the other day was asking me if I thought one of the other girls just had "a touch of autism". What the he** is a touch of autism?? I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that one.
Sorry about the vent......its been a long day.

Katie

Katie

"

I'm sorry you are so frustrated right now with the people around you. My DH and I have discussed this at length (the lack of sensitivity ) from Americans ( I assume most of these posters are from America). We believe that so many people are clueless and lack sensitivy b/c as a nation in general, so many people have not lived through much or ANY hardship. Look at all the problems in the world and the circumstances that people are forced to live through - compared to how most of us are very blessed by the circumstances that Americans live in. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud to be an American and do not mean to bash ALL AMERICANS.

Hang in there. Thankfully with your knowledge and sensitivity, you will raise children who are more educated and aware of people with differences, therefore making the world a better place.

Mom to Jacob, Benjamin, & Eden
BBG triplets born 9/29/04 @ 35wks gestation

HI there my name is megan , i am a fully qualified nanny and have worked with special needs children for about 4 years now , a response to people who have nasty things to say about your beautiful children is disgusting and to the same thing i have told many mothers is not to worry they are only being nasty because there jelous , why would they have any god for saken reason to down grade you and your family and i wish to all the people who have special needs kids that you and your family are unique . I love special needs families because i love to help others it is such a rewarding and special job .
so to you my dear do not worry what others have to say just laugh at them and ignore it and remember that you as a person , a family you are all special cause you brought your beautiful children into the family

all my love
megan xox

Yea I thought I had thick skin until the other day at my son's therapy. Some horrible woman had the nerve to say to me Is your son an autistic?
Huh? I couldn't believe it.
I said does my son look autistic? She said yes.
I said so tell me what does an autistic look like?
She had nothing to say except that her son went to school with them. Them.. gee..that's a nice way to label autistics.
I wanted to curl up in a corner and almost did.
Sometimes I really hate people.
Next time I am going to lay into a person that says something so rude. I was too kind this time..never again.