My dh and I have been discussing this lately. Our girls will be 3 next week and I have been thinking more and more about having another baby. I am terrified of the prospect of having another child with ASD, but I so long to experience a "normal" singleton pg and baby. Its so hard knowing that there is no test and no way of knowing. I don't want to ruin the experience and first 2 years by worrying every minute about it.
Just wondering what some of your thoughts and experiences are.
Thanks!! Katie

Katie

"

Katie,

Our dd with autism is now 12. We waited quite a while before we tried for a second and then had a lot of difficulty so here we are years later expecting triplets. For what it is worth, I wish we could have gotten pregnant much sooner, when she was young as your girls are. My pregnancy has been very hard for her and more disruptive to her than I think it would have been if she was young. I think if she had grown up with a younger sibling rather than them entering her life so late it would have been easier for her to adapt to.

I am very scared about the chances of one of our triplets being on the spectrum but we have taken as many precautions as possible and I also keep telling myself that I will now know the signs and would catch them so much earlier and if we did have another with ASD we would handle things much differently knowing what we know now.

Not sure if that helps any just thought I would share our experience, good luck in your decision I know it is not easy.

Jessica

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

Hi Katie,
I know how you feel. Our trips were our first and we found out we were pregnant with Dillon when they were 6 months old. They were 15 months when he was born and by the time our trips were 18 months we noticed some differences in our son Jordan. He wasn't as social and not talking like the other 2.

We soon found out he was on the spectrum. By the time Dillon was 18 months we saw he was delayed also. Soon to find out he was on the spectrum too.

I always wanted lots of kids but thought we were done. This was alot to handle and as you feel I would be scared to take that chance.

Fast forward 5 years. We found out we were expecting a suprise baby. We were very excited but I had all the same feelings as you. From the day Christina was born, I would say I can't wait until she is 2 (even though she talked early and was very social). We will have a big party when she's 2. Well she turned 2 in August and she is such joy to all of us and I couldn't imagine her not being here.

So I guess even though I would not have purposly chose to have another child, she came along anyway and that's the way it was supposed to be.

I just wanted you to know your not alone feeling that way. I hopw this helps and wasn't to much information.

Julie

katie,
i know exactly how you feel. the triplets were 3 when i got pregnant with eva and we had been through about one year of 'life' after our son's diagnosis. it was the hardest year of my life, hands down. then we got a dog...and a month later i found out i was pregnant! i was scared to death, to tell you the truth. i thought about it every single day. the only comfort i had was that if i *did* have another child on the spectrum, i would know it early on and i would know what to do this time.anyway, once i found out it was a girl i felt some sense of relief since statistically her chances were lower than a boy, but as you know that doesn't exactly mean anything! anyway, she will now be 2 in december--i feel the same as julie, we will have a HUGE party when she is two because i will feel "out of the woods" in terms of autism. she had very low muscle tone and was very late to do all the gross motor things, but she is chatty and miss personality. i can't imagine our life without our baby eva. she is such a joy. and actually, she has been really good for charles. he is more tender and loving with her than ANY other human being. he kisses her and is so sweet with her--anyone else, WATCH OUT! just tonight my other son asked, "when eva grows bigger, will we get another baby?" yikes. i can't even think about that right now!!

good luck with your decision, you will do what is right for your little family!

Meg

Here is a link with some info on it about future pregnancies after an autistic child. http://www.autism.com/families/index.htm

Scroll down and it is under Siblings. it comes in video and pdf.

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