I also posted this on the main forum, but thought maybe some of you here could relate a little better. Thanks for reading.

My husband (note I am not calling him DH right now )just has no clue about all the things I do, and go through and sometimes it really gets to me !!!!
My husband is aware of all of the stuff I am about to get long winded about here, and should realize how stressful it is for me (and I would think for him too!!!!)
We have had a very stressful few weeks w/ Braden and waiting on test results, another ERCP and liver biopsy. The oncologist came to see Braden after his ERCP while we were in the hospital still- very stressful to see him there obviously. I called the oncologists office yesterday and the nurse was evasive once she saw his chart and said "I don't want to say anything stupid, maybe I don't understand his notes, I will have the dr call you" read- she can't tell me anything and that is not usually good news !!! The oncologist calls me back in a few minutes-not usually a good sign -again and says that he didn't order one of the tests I asked about, but that it would be a good idea to order it (a bile duct cancer screening test) but that the GI should order it because it is not a 'routine' type test. the GI drs assist doesn't call back for a while and then when she does says " we keep getting more results in" but a PA will have to call me back. She calls back and says that she talked to a PA and ran some things by the 2 drs in the office (not either of our 2 GI drs) and that I will have to wait to talk to dr H on Thursday, they can't tell me anything. They WILL and HAVE told me over the phone when everything is normal.

So of course I am really stressed about what could be going on despite some reassurance while Braden was still in the hospital that some of the initial test results were normal, but his situation is not at all normal. He has had his gallbladder out already, had stones stuck in his coomon bile duct 6 weeks ago and just a few day ago had 2 more stones in his common bile duct. All of his ducts in his liver are dialated and his common bile duct has (had) a stricture in it. He still has intermittent fevers and jaundice even though he just got his duct very dialted to treat the stricture.

So my point of this post
Last night my husband was irritated that I wasn't going to bed when he was (it was late but I couldn't sleep- a lot on my mind !) I said I need to read for a while to help me unwind and fall asleep and he said VERY sarcastically " unwind ?? from what ???" I just wanted to scream !! What does he think my day was like ? I explained everything that was going on to him !!!

Lorraine

Reach for the heart of God and not just His hands.
Organ donation saves lives!
Life happens when love is given.


http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bradenwild

Lorraine
I can relate! I don't think men get it. I think they think going to bed early and resting is unwinding. My husband always makes comments about, I say I am tired but stay up. I try to tell him I need to relax for a while and watch tv or something before I go to bed. My head doesn't just shut down like his.

Another side is that maybe he wanted you there with him. Maybe he wanted to be with you(sex). Have you asked him how he is doing? I know sometimes as wives we think we do but may not have.

Lastly, let it go. You both are under lots of stress. I hope the results are good! Keep us posted.
Take care

Danielle
Easton, Blake & Hunter
1-24-99

Hi Lorraine,
Once in awhile I have to cuff my dh along side the head. He is an awesome dh and Daddy, but has been known to act like he was just born that morning. When I had pneumonia and was told by my Dr to get some R&R, Dh actually made a comment about the laundry not being caught up. I "wigged" of course. The next day, he had the laundry started, the house vaccumed and was making me breakfast.
I really do think men are wired a bit different than us ladies. I wish that I could have a tad of my dh's laid back attitude and I wish that he would take just a fraction of my worry-wartness (I know, not a word).
Keep us updated with Braden, you are all still in my prayers every night.((((((HUGS))))))


Gina
SAHM to Spunky 7/10/94
Mojo 6/29/97
RinRin 6/29/97
Kakiecakes 6/29/97(DS)
"I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it." Rose Kennedy

trpsn1
SAHM to Spunky
Mojo
RinRin
Bugaboo
"I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one t

Thanks for your support. I know that my husband at least sees things very differently than I do, and that it is typical of most couples. He was raised very differently than I was and we deal with things very differently. I just don't think he sees the gravity of the situation-yet.

Lorraine

Reach for the heart of God and not just His hands.
Organ donation saves lives!
Life happens when love is given.


http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bradenwild

Lorraine,

You’re not alone! I swear I think men are just programmed to be insensitive even though it is not necessarily intentional. Sometimes they just don't think before they say things. I think my husband is not nearly as effected by our children’s needs as I am. Not that he is not a good father but it seems harder for him to deal with what is really going on and how much they have gone through to survive and thrive.

Just know your feelings are valid and you are not alone! Please keep me posted about Braden.

Shannon