Hi! I am new to this whole chat/message forum stuff but am about to lose my sanity so I had to do something. My husband suggested I join a local multiples group but I am very shy and who has the time to leave the house anyway? LOL

I am the mom of a 2 year old and 6 month old spontaneous (and unplanned) triplets. I have no help and am driving myself crazy wracked with Mommy Guilt. I could go on for hours with all my baggage and reasons that I feel like a horrible mother but the bottom line is that I feel as though I haven't connected with my babies and that I can not give them the love and attention they deserve. Because we tried for so long to get pregnant with our oldest (and because we only had one), we loved her instantly and she has become the light of our lives. I feel like I may never love my triplets the way I love her and that breaks my heart. Then I think, "maybe things will get better as they get older", but so far they haven't.

I know I sound like a nut job but I needed to get my true feelings (which I am ashamed to admit, by the way) out to someone for a little enlightenment. I would appreciate any advice or stories from any of you who may have been in a similar situation and if some of your children are older now how things have changed for you along the way.

Thank you for your time and help!!!

Mandie
No Siggy Pic Here
My Triplets May Be Fake

Gwen
Try posting on the "multiple questions" area (the first tab), you might get more answers. Caring for triplets is not easy and is very overwhelming. Mine are only 3 months old so I'm new to this whole thing but I'm sure others will have great advice.
Leni

Hi Mandie,
I felt the same way. I didn't feel like I was connecting because I was so so so busy and tired. You will connect and you do love them the same as your first but you are spent! The emotional and physical strain can not be understood by anyone else then a mother of multiples. YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!
It gets easier.

Are you in NJ?
Heather
lorentriplet.blogspot.com

I have taken many classes on human development and in those classes I learned that stay at home mom's have a better chance at becoming depressed than a working mom. This is because you are with your children 24/7 and have no adult human interaction. I am not a Dr but it sounds like you may have some depression. I don't think it's that you love your older child more, it is just probable it was easier just having her and with multiples it is much more difficult. I think you need to make a point each week to try to get out with out your babies and have some me time. I know you are shy but I love my multiples group. They all understand what I am going through so it makes it nice to hang out with them. But if that isn't good for you then do you go to church?? If so, see if the church has a group for Mom's that do things together. I wouls also talke to your Dr about poss being depressed.

I had a simular issue with bonding with one of my babies. When the babies were in the NICU one of my babies wasn't doing well and they didn't know if he would make it. Do to the fear of loosing him, it was tough for me to bond with him. I felt guilty but I think it was my way of dealing with a poss loss. Well today he is healthy, happy 14 month old and I am just as close to him as I am to my other babies.

I really don't think you sound like a "nut job", you sound like a Mom who cares. Really if you weren't worried about the way you felt and passed it off as not a big deal, that is when I would worry.

Good luck and if you need to talk send me a PM.

Tanna

06/22/07 29 weeks 4 days
Lincoln 2 lbs 13 oz
Colton 2 lbs 14.4 oz
Dakota 2 lbs 11oz
http://tannastriplets.blogspot.com/