Please help! We have 5 year old triplets in kindergarten and we were just advised at our conference that they are suggesting one child be retained. The other two children are pretty much right on target and ready for 1st grade. We are trying to obtain as much information as possible so we can make the right decision for our son. We definately do not want to set him up for failure if we have him go to first grade and he is not ready, however, we don't know what it will do to him emotionally to be in a different grade with the others moving forward. We have been told that academically he is doing fine, sometimes a little slow, but fine. The teacher is more worried about his social readiness. Anyone been through this? Help!

Hello,
We were faced with something very similar to your situation, however we experienced it in Pre-K.
A little background: My triplets were born at 32 weeks on June 29th. My due date was the end of August and the cut-off date for kindergarten is September 1st. Anyway, we sent them to Pre-k when they were 4 years old. At spring conferences, my son's Pre-k teacher suggested keeping him in Pre-k for another year. He was doing ok academically, but was still pretty immature. At first I was devistated and said, "absolutely not!" But, the more I thought about it, the more it started to make sense. Had they been born closer to their due date, I probably would have kept them out of Pre-k until the following year. We decided to hold him along with his sister back another year in Pre-k (although, she was ready for kindergarten according to her teacher). Their other triplet sibling has Down Syndrome and was in a EC/Sp Ed. program so it DNA to her. Well, it was the best choice that we made! They are now in all day kindergarten and are doing great! They are both so much more mature, their fine motor skills are great and they are both serving as "mentors" for classmates that are having a difficult time transitioning to kindergarten. I could not be more proud of them!
We made the decision to hold both of them back because we did not want our son to lose any self-esteem. We thought that if he saw his sister moving on and he was left behind it would hurt him more. I do not know if that is an option for your situation?
Anyway, I would also like to mention that you may get a bigger response if you post this question on the main forum as the "traffic" is much higher.

Gina
SAHM to Spunky 7/10/94
Mojo 6/29/97
RinRin 6/29/97
Kakiecakes 6/29/97(DS)
"I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it." Rose Kennedy

trpsn1
SAHM to Spunky
Mojo
RinRin
Bugaboo
"I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one t

This may be too late for you, but I have a friend with twins who was faced with a similar situation. She kept both kids back for the year and hasn't regretted it at all. I think the other poster is right about it being a good thing for all involved. JMHO

Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

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Look, I am not a parent but I have been learning so much on this sight that I feel like I have to say something to this post. I am an adopted child. In kindigarden I also has social problems (stuttering and I was a slow learner). My parents faced the same problems with me. However, they compromised by just giving me more attention in order to allow me to move forward because they thought holding me back would cause MORE social problems. (Some teachers beleived I was molested, which is crazy, and this is where my early learning was a result of this).

As a result of my perents spending more time with me than my brothers with my education, I graduated High School early. I have Recieved My AA as well as A BFA in Interdisciplinary Colaboration and Entertainment practice with one of the top Private Art Schools in the nation. I have headed up the commercial dept. for one of the largest casting agencies in the world. I also teach workshops at a local college on the side. I Maintain a healthy social life. Stay politacly active and am on my way to buying my first home. Oh yeah, I just turned 25 years old.

My point is this. My "teachers" believed that I would not make it through the 2nd grade. All they had to compare me to was my brother who was in the same school... Remember he is your son. If my parents let people tell them what would be in MY best interest, things would not turn out the way they did. Each of your children will ALL have special needs.