One year ago today I woke up and went into Emma's room to give her her morning medicines before mixing her flolan. I lifted up her arm to turn her over to gain access to her gtube and found her limp. It took but a second for me to realize that she had died.

Shock and grief overcame me and have never left me. I still, to this day, have not had the courage to face what happened. I do best just not thinking at all. But this past week has been full of ghosts and sadness and I just can't escape today.

Please remember Emma today.

Jane
Anna/Emma/John/^James^ (9/24/03-9/29/03) 26 wkers
In memory of my beloved Emma 9/24/03 - 1/19/07
www.snanimals.com
www.jlperillo.etsy.com (my etsy shop)
http://snanimals.blogspot.com (my blog)

I am praying for you today!

I think of Emma often

Jane

Jane

Blessed with a quadruplet pregnancy
Miscarried quads A and D at 10.5 weeks
Lucy Mae (8/1/05-8/4/05) and Samuel were born 8/1/05 at 36.5 weeks after 17 weeks of bedrest!

I am so sorry for you today.

And I am sorry for the ghosts and sadness. I relive the weekend I lost my first babies every year. I relive my thoughts and the what-ifs.

Please know that you have a tender spot in my heart, because you got to know and love your little one even more than some of us.


xoxoxoxo

Melody
^bbb^ 11-03-03 at 22 weeks
BBB ^d^ 1-08-06 at 30.3 weeks I am an earthly mom at last!
keep up with us at www.lodyp.com

Thinking of you and sweet Emma today. I can't believe a whole year has passed. I remember reading your sad news when I was still pregnant. I remember being in disbelief of the pain you have/had to endure...not knowing then what our fate would bring us not even 2 months later. I am so sorry she isn't there with you...along with your other sweet angels. much love...

rachel

Rachel - mother of four...forever
^Jaxon^ (3/2/07-5/29/07)
^Courtney^ (3/2/07-3/8/07)
^Colin^ (3/2/07-3/8/07)
23 weeks 6 days
www.tripletbutterflywings.blogspot.com
www.themcconathys.blogspot.com
Kenzington Rae 12/26/08
Born at 36 weeks after 5 months of

I am sorry for your loss. I could not imagine how it must feel to have known a child and then lose them suddenly. May you pain hopefully lessen every year.

Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob

"
Big brother Justin 8

Jane,

I just wanted you to know I am thinking of Emma today. I watched Emma's video with my 16 year old cousin. I didn't know her before she passed, but I know her smile and her face now. She lives in what you have done in remembrance.

Prayers are with you...

Trish

I hope the weekend went okay for you & I hope you found some peace. Just take one day at a time. Take care of yourself.

Check us out at:
http://thewrighttrips.blogspot.com/

Isabel, Jasper & Jonah were born on July 1, 2006

And my twin angels in heaven ~
Olivia Layne - 2/13/05
Elijah Cain - 2/13/05

Thinking of you...and Emma today.

I still have very vivid flashbacks to the day I lost my angel Danny. It's been over 5.5 years.

Peace to you and your family.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

Thinking of you and Emma today. Its so weired how the time seems to drag when in so much pain but then boom one year hits and it seems to have gone by so fast. Our angels will never be forgotten. They are loved forever!

Raquel
Mom to triplet angels: Sophia, Steven Jr. & Xavier b/d 25w4d (11/26/06, & Sweet baby Joseph (11/14/07-11/14/07)
Eliana Grace-God has answered
Born 4/03/09

Jane:

I pray that your week went alright and that you are now feeling a bit better. That first anniversary is one of the toughest ones to face. I am so very sorry for all of the ghosts and the memories of horror and disbelief. I know that there is little comfort in being told that it gets easier with time.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://b3.lilypie.com/bDA

Thanks Cat and everybody for the kind thoughts.

The year has come and gone so fast and yet I still can't believe that Emma isn't here with me everyday. I can't imagine it getting easier. Although I know that it has with James but I really didn't know him. I knew emma through and through and she was and always will be my best friend. I hope that in the years to come that I can look back on her memory with happiness.

I hate that we all have this horrible experience that bonds us together. When my husband died suddenly (14 years ago now) someone told me I became a part of a club that no one wanted to be a part of. That is so true, and even more so with this one.

Jane
Anna/Emma/John/^James^ (9/24/03-9/29/03) 26 wkers
In memory of my beloved Emma 9/24/03 - 1/19/07
www.snanimals.com
www.jlperillo.etsy.com (my etsy shop)
http://snanimals.blogspot.com (my blog)

Jane,

I just saw this post and am sorry I didn't see it sooner. Your Emma has touched so many people. I think of Emma often (as I have an Emma myself) and am moved by your strength for you are very, very strong to have survived this year.

My heart is with you and I do pray for your grief to ease as time passes.

Marie