this is the first time ive posted on this site...ive read thru a few other entries. i dont know if this will help me or not, but i thought i'd give it a try.
i delivered my triplets on dec 16 at 26 weeks and lost lily after a short 6 hours. on jan 9, i lost my little eli. delilah continues to struggle in the NICU.
right now im just angry. and overwhelmed. i didnt really get a chance to bond with lily..at least not after she was born. but i still miss her alot.
eli was the most interactive with us. he would open his eyes when we came by his isolette. we have pictures of him crying. it just hurts so much taht i was never able to comfort him or console him when he was hurting, or sad, or scared.
delilah doesnt open her eyes much. she doesnt like to be touched.
all of this is just so different that i imagined...even though i knew the risks.
i guess im just looking for support from someone who's been there....

Knowing the risks doesn't mean we ever REALLY thought our child(ren) would die. My 26 wekeres spent 28 days (Little Eric, my angel) 92 days (Levi) and 105 days (Vivian)...so I suspect you still have a fairly long road in the NICU with Delilah. I hope that whatever took Eli and Lily from you is not something that may plague her as well, and if it is I pray that the NICU staff is monitoring her oh-so-closely.

I am so sorry for your loss of Eli and Lily. I hope that Delilah grows and thrives from here.

Welcome to the group you never want to join. You will find friends and support here...

Erika

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

You came to the right place. I had my babies at 26.5 weeks and we lost Alex less than 12 hours later. His twin Brennan did not like being touched either and he had a very hard time gaining weight. He is only 2.3. He is doing much better now and is tolerating touch. My singleton Christian had a grade III and IV brain bleed. It has been very tough. Christian is set to come home very soon. We don't know when Brennan will be home. I am here if you want to talk and I hope that you do not have to encounter any of the issues I did in the NICU. It is a rough ride. You will be in my thoughts.

Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob

"
Big brother Justin 8

thank you for responding. i am sorry to hear about your situation too. have they set a date yet for christian ?
delilah had a rough day. but she opened her eyes alot more today. that scared me though more than anything...because it was how eli was acting two days before he passed.
what kind of issues did you have in teh nicu? (if its posted somewhere i can read it there if you direct me..)

I am so sorry to hear about what's been going on with your sweet babies. Nothing is worse than losing a trip and then losing another.
My trip girls were born at 24 weeks in March 07. We lost one after 25 days then the second after 76 days. Finally brought home our biggest (1.3) after 102 days...
Our blog is invite only...email me and you can read our nicu blog and see how she's doing today!
Judith
jadfox01@yahoo.com

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thank you for the note. delilah has had a tough day today. she's been there only a little over a month and i know she has a long way to go.
when i was doing my reading when i found out i was having multiples, i always skimmed over the "losing a child" chapters thinking "how sad it must be for those people" being completely oblivious to the fact that it was possible to happen to me. i guess that's just our way of protecting ourselves at the time.
.
haley

I am so sorry about what you are going through. I gave birth to my triplets at 25 weeks 4 days and Sophia passed away 5 days later. Steven Jr. was doing well until his little lungs gave out three days after Sophia passed. Their brother Xavier had a stage IV brain bleed and we struggled to know what to do next. We did the hardest thing ever and let him go. The time in the NICU is such a rollarcoaster ride nothing can really prepare you. Life without our triplets has been very lonely and sad. We decided to try again and ended up losing our little boy at 19 weeks. Nothing prepares one for the loss of a child, let alone the multiple losses. Its been a little over a year since our triplets passed and only since Nov. did we lose little Joseph. I'm so sorry you have to go through the pain you are experiencing right now. Stay strong, don't give up on hoping and know that you are not alone. God Bless,

Raquel
Mom to triplet angels: Sophia, Steven Jr. & Xavier b/d 25w4d (11/26/06, & Sweet baby Joseph (11/14/07-11/14/07)
Eliana Grace-God has answered
Born 4/03/09

So sorry for you loss. My grandbabies were born at 24.6 weeks. We brought them home at 14 and 15 weeks. In May of 07 Hayden died in his sleep at 14 months, we thought we were passed that but we were wrong. I guess God had other plans for him. We miss him so much, time helps but we will never get over such a terrible loss. Wish you the best.

Grandma to 24 weekers
Preston, Madison and Hayden
Hayden got his wings May 15 07
only 14 months old

My mom posted above me and I just want to put in. That Preston did not like being touched at all for the longest time. Every time we would touch him his stats would go all over the place. But by the time we brought the triplets home he was my cuddle bug big time and still is. He is full of smiles all the time even with his learning issues and his cerebral palsy he is a sweet loving little boy. He laughs at everything and it is the kind of laugh that is so cute it makes u want to cry. I am so sorry about your two angels that passed away. I pray for your other little one that she makes it through.

Jaclyn

http://thesheridangang.blogspot.com/

it is good to hear that even with learning issues, your preston seems to enjoy life and is a happy little kid. that is what i pray for for delilah.

i am so sorry for your losses. i am reading a book about subsequent pregnancies now. i had thought about getting my tubes tied when i gave birth to my triplets. i have no idea if we'll ever be able to (physically or mentally) get pregnant again, but im glad i will be able to try if we decide to....

I am sorry for your losses...it absolutely sucks and is the worst thing a person can possibly go through. The anger is completely normal...well I hope it is because it has been close to a year for me and I am still pissed. My life has been forever changed...forever ruined. I have tried to put some good in my losses and started some sites if you want to look at them. There are links to other helpful sites, poems, blogs, etc. There are even links to some online sites that sells jewelry that can be engraved. I have a beautiful necklace that doesn't leave my neck that has my babies names engraved. It currently is www.tripletbutterflywings.blogspot.com but is switching over to www.tripletbutterflywings.com this week.

I hope your daughter grows and thrives and gets to come home soon.

Rachel - mother of four...forever
^Jaxon^ (3/2/07-5/29/07)
^Courtney^ (3/2/07-3/8/07)
^Colin^ (3/2/07-3/8/07)
23 weeks 6 days
www.tripletbutterflywings.blogspot.com
www.themcconathys.blogspot.com
Kenzington Rae 12/26/08
Born at 36 weeks after 5 months of

i havent had time to check out the website yet..but will soon. i am sorry for your losses as well. there are two other families in our nicu room alone who have lost one of twins (there are only 6 beds to a room...so half of us have lost one or more, which seems totally unfair and crazy).
thank you for supporting my anger. i hope you are taking care.

I also am terribly sorry for your loss. As others have said, the fact that your little one does not want to be touched right now does not mean that this will remain this way. I pray that she will continue to grow and thrive.

I have also seen the new web site, and it is beautiful.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://b3.lilypie.com/bDA

Im so, so sorry for the loss of your precious babies, lily and eli. You will be in my prayers and sweet delilah for an uneventful NICU stay.

You are in the right place for support, us, bereaved parents, have gone through a very similar situation you are going through and have received support from others..

I have been there, and am still there

I also delivered at 26.4wks. Daniel passed away at 5 days and Nicolle at 15 days. Nathalie, my surviving triplet, spent 95 days in the NICU. God performed a real miracle in her, and in spite of the usual micro preemie stuff (brain bleed, lung disease, PDA, PFO, ROP,a&bs, reflux), we currently are only struggling with reflux. She is 16 mths old and is doing extremely well, she is right on target for her actual age (except for her weight and height).

She also could not stand me touching her, or even talking to her, they called the physical therapist earlier than usual because she could NOT tolerate touch at all from anyone. She outgrew this little by little, I was present at every hands on to touch her like the PT taught me to, played classical music, dimmed the lights, wrote papers and stuck them to the wall of her likes and dislikes so that every nurse could see it, would speak to every nurse at change of shift and explain what to do with her. I guess it was 1 month before discharge that she started to enjoy touch, to such an extent that about 6 months after discharge I had to hold her 24 hours a day because she was terrified of her crib.

Those NICU days were so hard, and I can only tell you that I survived those days because of the help of God, he carried me through those days, the fear of loosing my surviving triplet, the fear of leaving each night and not seeing her again, the fear she would take a turn for the worst. But I prayed, and prayed, and prayed (cant stress enough how much I prayed) and Thank God Nathalie pulled through it and is doing wonderful.

... although every time I think of my babies, I get a not in my throat and an ache in my heart, it does get better. the numbness subsides... you have to keep going for your surviving baby, you have to enjoy every moment of the life which she is being blessed with... A situation I do not wish on anyone, yet here we are..so, Im here for you if you need an ear, a cyber hug or anything.

Monique

Monique
Mom to 26.5wk triplets, born 09/14/06
^Nicole^
^Daniel^
Nathalie

it is so true...ive always been a believer...but ive never prayed more than in the past months. one of my friends is having all three of her children baptized in a few weeks. she felt strongly about doing so after she attended lily's funeral.

it is good to hear that nathalie is doing well. i worry about how delilah will be if and when she gets thru this first amazing hurdle of her life.

i was trying to figure out how to get emails from this list..but maybe there isnt a way? in any case, i would love to chat sometime. my email is haleyjvd@yahoo.com

My email is moniquestahle31@hotmail.com. I have a carepages website for Nathalie but is in Spanish (we are from Latin America). IŽll email you the direction of how to get in, so that you can see the before and after pics.

Nathalie is just so amazing, every day I thank God for the little miracles He does each day.. For example, get a cracker and chump on it, extend her feet so that I put on her shoes, find a new object to play hide and seek with, a new animal sound she learns, each new word she tries to imitate... the little things I was told not to expect and Thank God she is surprising me with it everyday... The NICU docs and nurses didnt give me too much hope for her "quality of life" because of her billateral grade III brainbleed (which is considered severe). But God does not follow the rules, He makes the rules, so He has made a whole new set of rules for Nathalie! Dont let the doctors scare you, give Delilah all of the love and support you can give her, dont fret about the future (it will be what it will be), but strive for excellence, give her therapy as soon as you can (request PT in the hospital and f/u when discharged) AND PRAY!

I forgot to mention in my previous post that not only did I pray, but there was a whole army of people praying for my baby. It was unbelievable, people I didnt even know. So, join prayer groups in the internet, when people ask what they can do, ask them to pray for Delilah, and I too will have her in my prayers. LOL!

Monique
Mom to 26.5wk triplets, born 09/14/06
^Nicole^
^Daniel^
Nathalie

My ds had a grade III and IV brain bleed. He then got hydrocyphlysis and then menigitsis. I am hoping that he will still have a quality of life.

Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob

"
Big brother Justin 8

I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet babies. I pray that little Delilah will grow & thrive & be healthy. You have been thru so much & to have a little one still in the NICU must be very scary & tiring. You will get thru this...one day at a time. You will never get over it, but you will get thru it. Please keep us updated on little Delilah. And by the way...I LOVE their names! I have twin angels...Elijah & Olivia. Take care mama.

Check us out at:
http://thewrighttrips.blogspot.com/

Isabel, Jasper & Jonah were born on July 1, 2006

And my twin angels in heaven ~
Olivia Layne - 2/13/05
Elijah Cain - 2/13/05

i love all your babies names too! seeing that you went on to have triplets after losing your twins gives me hope. at least that is how i took it...am i right in that?