Ok I know this is going to sound crazy but now that I have twins do still belong here. Taking owen off of life support was the hardest thing I have ever done. I tell people that I had a set of triplets 3 weeks ago and I took one off of life support and they are like great. I just shook my head and said not really but he is with grandma and grandpa in heaven. So here is the question I have since I have lost one of my triplets do i still belong here? The second question I have is when the babies come home do i still call them triplets or do i just call them twins? I am lost with out owen but he is in a better place watching over us. I am sorry I will stop rambeling. Thank you all for your prayers and concerns. Zander and ellie are making progress we have a long ways to go but with the good lord helping we will get thru thanks again quanita

I posted on the general forum. I am so sorry for your loss, and wish that I could walk with you as you go through the NICU journey.

Please call your triplets triplets if you are most comfortable doing this -- and, then tell everyone that the third one is with grandma and grandpa right now. It is the simplest way of dealing with this issue -- both for you and for strangers.

You will be in my prayers.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://b3.lilypie.com/bDA

Quanita,

I also lost one and brought home two and, in my experience, you should do whatever feels right to you. It is your journey and you make the calls. I am sorry for your loss of Owen and I will keep Zander and Ellie in my prayers.

As for belonging here, you most certainly do. I am still here because the people are great, the information is priceless, and it lets my little Brody live on...if only in my signature line.

One day at a time...

Lisa
Mom to

BB 03/05/1997 34 weeks, 2 days
Dean Thomas 4 lbs 14.5 oz
Owen Andrew 4 lbs 8 oz

BG^B^ 09/29/2007 33 weeks, 1 day
Trey Samuel 4 lbs 1 oz
Marley Carol 4 lbs 15 oz
and our stillborn angel, Brody Brendan, 11 ounces

Yes, you do belong here. No matter what, you gave birth to triplets, and you'll always be a triplet mom.

As for what to call them, it's personal. I can't stand when people call my babies twins, but that's me. I call them "surviving triplets" if anyone asks. But if you're comfortable with twins, then it will save you having to answer a lot of questions and talking about Owen if you don't want to.

I'm glad to hear the other two are doing so well.

I agree with the others, what you choose to say is a very personal choice. We lost one of our boys when he was 8 months old. As far as we're concerned, we had triplets and Alexander and Ava are still triplets. I can't bear it when people call them twins. They're not!

I find myself telling people that they are 2 of triplets and that we lost their brother James. We have the strength to do that, and believe me some days it does take every ounce of strength to say that.

Good luck with your other two, I hope that they are home with you very soon. It's the hardest thing to endure, life and loss at the same time.

Angel Owen is in my thoughts.

I wish you all the very best from a very cold London.

Kerri xxx

Sorry so late, but people are stipid. They are not twins they are always triplets. That makes me mad if someone ask me how the twins are and they know they are triplets. Boy do I correct them. Just because Hayden is in Heaven does not change the fact that they are triplets.


Grandma to 24 weekers
Preston, Madison and Hayden
Hayden got his wings May 15 07
only 14 months old

Quanita,

I am sorry for your loss of baby Owen. I am so glad to hear that Ellie and Zander are making progrss. I too think you should do whatever feels right to you. I always call my children "surviving triplets" I am very sensitive to the word "twin." It really hurts me when people call my children "twins." For me I always feel that I need to include Benjamin because I am so proud of him and all of my children and that I had triplets!You absolutely belong here, you are a triplet mom!

Dana

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

Keep in mind you are not a mother of twins you are a mother of triplets. We took Alex off of life support 12 hrs after birth and I still wonder if I made the right choice. I look at Bren (his Id) and realize Alex would have had a lot more problems. Your babies are surviving triplets and you do belong here. Please remember that. The hardest part about having triplets is when people ask where is the other one. I say I have on at home, one at the hospital and one in heaven. When people call them twins I get upset. When I see twin boys together I get upset. It is very hard. I hope both your babies get to come home together.

Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob

"
Big brother Justin 8