Hi there, I am not a regular poster here by any means, so I hope you dont mind me jabbering for a few minutes.
Back in 2002 after 10+ yrs of IF, I finally found out I was pg! Talk about a shock! Then we finally went for our first u/s. I immediately saw two hb's and I said "twins"...then the wand moved and dh was like "huh?, what are you talking bout?" He had no clue what the flickers meant. Then I heard the words

"No, honey, I see three!!" as she pointed them out to me. All three had heart beats...I instantly began shaking and crying... Im not really sure why, but it totally freaked me out. I was sooo happy, scared, excited, terrified....all of the above. I was shaking so much that the u/s tech asked me to calm down a minute so she could get the heart rates.

We left in such a daze. At the time we lived in a two bedroom house and already had a 14yo, so you know the thougts going through our heads.

Fast forward a few weeks later and Baby B no longer had a h/b DH was really upset, but I was afraid if I got upset than I would loose another one so I just kinda blocked it out. Of course I had already told everyone we were having triplets, so I got to hear all the wonderful remarks 'oh, it was for the best' 'well its good you lost it, you really wouldve had your hands full' you know all the *helpful* comments you just want to smack people over

I went on to have my babies at 26wks. Knowing what I know now, I understand that baby B, we believe was an identical to my DD, gave her life for her brother and sister. Had she lived, I would not have the outcome I have today...as much as I love her for that, I miss her all the more.

My *twins* are pushing 7 yrs old, and there are days that I still want to cry (tonight for example) for what could have been. I wonder what it would have been like, I wonder what her personality would have been...somewhere in between my DS and DD????

Its so hard to talk about her to people, they think I am nuts, so she is only talked about between DH and myself, and even then, he gets really upset and I dont like to upset him.

Every year on their birthday we send a balloon to heaven to her. We all right something to her, but I dont think that R and K understand what it is all about yet, I believe this year they may *get it*.

I know I am just rambling and Im sorry, the jest of it all is

I miss my sweet Angel! I will always love you and miss you tremendously!

Patty
mom to Ryan and Katie
b.2/1/02 @ 26wks
^!^ Angel Marie

Patty.

You are by no means alone. My DH and I tried for years and finally had to do IVF. when the doctors asked us how many embros we wanted to put back we both said without hesitation THREE. We were just hoping for 1 baby, at first... I have to tell you I have said this to my DH tons of times. from the day they implanted me I wanted those babies so bad. I new there were three and had a strong attachment to them from the MOMENT they were placed inside me.

My Doctor talked about selective reduction....I stopped him and told him there was NO way we would make that decision/

Unfortunately my story has a tragic ending. But I completely understand where you are coming from. You are not Crazy it is nice that you celebrate your triplet.

My DH and I are going to try again for another baby. I will most likely have to do IVF, again, we still have embryos on ice. We will only be placing 1 at a time, because my body cannot handle a multiple birth again and I would feel the same way you do if one did not make it.

Good luck to you...Just know you can post here anytime. This forum is so amazing. It is really the only thing that has kept me sain the past few months.

www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com
www.thisisourLONGjourney.blogspot.com

Cathi

Our Precious Angels
^Raiden Landon^(B/D 10/17/08) 22wks
^Ryker London^(11/12/08-11/22/08)25w5d
^Gwyneth Bella^(11/12/08-12/1/08)25w5d

Megyn Velynda born 12/08/09 @ 35w 4 day

Thank you! ((((HUGS))) to you as well.. Sorry for your loss, I wish you all the best and luck for the new year.

Take care
Patty

Hi Patty. Nice to see you over here, but of course, I wish it didn't have to be in the bereaved forum. Hugs to you.

I think it is wonderful you all do something for your tiplet baby girl on your kids' birthday. What a lovely thing to do to remember her. I think it is completely normal for you to have the feelings you do. I still think of your triplet baby whenever I see you post (on OS of course). You will always be a triplet mommy to me

Nik
GBG triplets born 4/2/05
30w5d
www.thebestthingscomein3.blogspot.com

Hey Nik...You are such a sweetie, Thanks for your comments, they really mean alot to me!