Tonight is probably the anniversary of Carina's last breath. She died 5 years ago just hours from now.

But, Caidan and Caeleigh are simply amazing. Tonight we went to Henry's Market and they, as usual, asked for a balloon. But, lately they have developed a pattern of getting the balloons for Carina.

Tonight was special. Caidan and Caeleigh got a green and a red balloon for Christmas. And, Caidan did not even want to wait until we got home to send his balloon to Carina. When we got to my dad's house to drop him off, Caidan asked me to open his window so he could give Carina her balloon. Caeleigh had fallen asleep in her carseat, but as Caidan watched the balloon climb up into the clouds, he said, "Mom, she's really happy up there with all of her balloons, isn't she?" I told him, "Yes son, she's very happy with all of her balloons and with getting to live with God."

It made me want to start weeping, but how do you explain that to a sweet 5 year old who dearly loves the little sister he never really got to remember knowing?

I wish I could simply take this entire week off. I didn't expect it to be so tough this year. I think it's partly that the days have lined up again and it makes it hard to forget about where I was at each particular time in this week. Caeleigh was standing on her head and exposed the scar on her rib cage and I immediately realized that in 8 days from now, she was being rolled into surgery as a tiny 3 pound infant and the outcomes were very much unknown.

I'll be glad when this week is behind me. Please keep me in your prayers this week. I have way too much going on right now and I simply don't have time for an emotional collapse.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://b3.lilypie.com/bDA

Oh Cat...

What a sweet young man you have there. I will keep you and your precious Carina in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sending Big Hugs your way!

Let us know how you are doing, ok hun...I know that we will all be thinking about you. I hope that gives you strength.

Karen

What amazing children you have....((((HUGS)))!!!!!

www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com
www.thisisourLONGjourney.blogspot.com

Cathi

Our Precious Angels
^Raiden Landon^(B/D 10/17/08) 22wks
^Ryker London^(11/12/08-11/22/08)25w5d
^Gwyneth Bella^(11/12/08-12/1/08)25w5d

Megyn Velynda born 12/08/09 @ 35w 4 day

Cat,

When we got off the phone the other night I immediately thought about the triplets birthday and how you were going to Disneyland with your two and I thought OMG she is so strong and your love for your little ones just shines through. My heart ached thinking about how you must miss Carina and how bitter sweet the birthday celebrations must be. I pray that this weeks goes quickly but is also filled with beautiful memories with Caidan and Caeleigh. God bless. Love and hugs.

Raquel
Mom to triplet angels: Sophia, Steven Jr. & Xavier b/d 25w4d (11/26/06, & Sweet baby Joseph (11/14/07-11/14/07)
Eliana Grace-God has answered
Born 4/03/09