Kind of overwelmed and sad and disappointed with your self since everyone is talkinga bout the lady with the 8 babies. IT makes me think wow what did i do wrong I couldn't carry three healthy babies?

yeah me too...

Rachel - mother of four...forever
^Jaxon^ (3/2/07-5/29/07)
^Courtney^ (3/2/07-3/8/07)
^Colin^ (3/2/07-3/8/07)
23 weeks 6 days
www.tripletbutterflywings.blogspot.com
www.themcconathys.blogspot.com
Kenzington Rae 12/26/08
Born at 36 weeks after 5 months of

me three

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

yep... just like the story of the grandma that served as a surrogate for her triplet grandchildren... my friend who is expecting triplets told me.. well, if she can do it, why cant I.. and then I thought.. well, something is wrong with me because I couldnt...

Monique
Mom to 26.5wk triplets, born 09/14/06
^Nicole^
^Daniel^
Nathalie

YES. I am on bedrest and they keep running stories about her on CNN. I'm so sick of it. It makes me so disappointed that my body couldn't manage my three babies, no matter how hard I tried to follow every order from my doctor to the letter and then some. (And my doctor had delivered the first surviving octuplets...) I just don't understand.

Heather
B ^B^ G (30 weeks, 1 day pregnant)

When I first read your post Quanita, I really didn't agree, and THEN I went out today and it kind of hit me. I don't want to hear how well the babies are doing, how she carried them to 30+ weeks, and I don't want to hear how she plans to breastfeed all of them. I don't begrudge her, but it felt like everywhere I went today with the boys, the octuplets were brought up. Aarrgghh....

Karen
Mom to Patrick, William, and our Angel Hunter
7-14-08

I understand the "nudge" this brings and I, too, have felt it.

It is so amazing to me that we all tend to blame ourselves somehow for the loss of our babies. It's like we somehow should have been able to know or do something differently. It's like our bodies somehow betrayed us.

And, in truth, that is the whole crux about grief. It is so very hard to come to accept the fact that what is, simply is. It is the whole finality of the thing. No way to go back and change anything. No rhyme, no reason. But, ladies, also definitely no fault, no blame. You did nothing wrong that caused your loss.

I love you all so much and wish that we could just meet up for a group hug.


Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

I have been having a difficult couple of weeks. I feel the same way.

Dana

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

I don't post to this forum very often but it is news like this that I need other bereaved parents of multiples who understand that emotions that this brings.

On one hand I get frustrated by the news reports that glorify the birth because I know that there is so much grief and loss in higher order multiples.

On the other hand I get frustrated with the news reports that suggest that she should have reduced, and make that sound like such an easy option without considering the moral and even medical limitations. I know that so many of the higher order multiple moms that I have met here tried so carefully to get pregnant and their mutliples were completely unexpected. I get frustrated with those that claim that those are pregnant with HOM's are careless, because we saw 5 gestational sacs (4 of which developed heartbeats) from what we were told were only 4 eggs. We asked regularly if we should cancel the cycle and were always told know (when I requested my medical records, I found out there were too many 15 mm follicles hanging around and I should have been cancelled, but if I was asking every day, what more could I do). While it was our first injectables cycles, it was after almost two years of infertitlity and five rounds of clomid. I know that so many of you here have had long roads through infertility and your multiples were completed unexpected given your history. It bothers me a lot when I heard that she supposedely had 6 other children, including a two year old...what were they doing treatment for? Of course, in many ways most likely having undergone so many succesful pregnancies enabled her body to be better prepared for the multiples.

And this may be silly, but it is really bothering me that such a miraculous feet happened at a Kaiser hospital. We switched onto Kaiser the day my babies were born (I stopped working, and that was when my coverage ran out) and they were quite difficult about letting me keep my doctors. Their hospice provider did not accept newborns, and they would not authorize an alternative provider that would accept an infant. But what really pissed me off was when they CALLED to ask WHY we were bringing Samuel but not Lucy to pediatrician appointments and we had to explain for the second time that she was DEAD. (Their pediatrician had signed the death certificate a few days earlier). She need to be in the system for the hospital bills to be paid, but their was also a hospice referall in the system.

But I am happy that it appears that the babies are doing well. I do not want anyone else to experience the painful emotion of infant loss.

Jane

Jane

Blessed with a quadruplet pregnancy
Miscarried quads A and D at 10.5 weeks
Lucy Mae (8/1/05-8/4/05) and Samuel were born 8/1/05 at 36.5 weeks after 17 weeks of bedrest!

oh yes i know exactly how you feel...

it's as if my coworkers and friends have already forgotten about how much pain we still go through each day - - and all i want to say is - - HEEEELLLOOOOOOOOOO - this isn't easy for me to listen to!!!!! i know that it isn't always about me or our triplets - but cmon people - it's still hard to hear about a woman who has now been blessed with *14* children under the age of 7, and yet our triplets are in Heaven????? I just do my best to tune it out now and try not to dwell on the "why's" I can't question God's motives. and I certainly can't go back to the dark place where I feel I'm being somehow punished or that God deliberately denied us a miracle. I suppose that through life, we will be tested, our Faith will be tested, and some babies will live and babies will not. it's not up to us i guess. i'm just glad we can vent about this to each other!

God bless-

Mom to triplet angels born too soon on March 30, 2007 @ 21w6d
^Oliver Jonathan^
^Avery Lauren^
^Thomas Andrew^

and blessed with Benjamin Reilly on April 8, 2008 @ 39wks
8lb 1oz

Yes, it has made me feel a little pig sick too. I've learnt the hard way that there's no rhyme or reason in this world, that's for sure.

Kerri.