Hey everyone, hope all is well.

So I went to my first shrink appt yesterday and I only cried for half of the session! Hubby went with so that was very helpful since he could talk for me when I couldn't get the words out. It was also helpful that hubby goes to this doc regularly, so she pretty much knew what happened and kinda knew me from whataver hubby told her (hopefully good). Anyway, she was good at knowing when to push a harder question and when to back off and go to an easier question so I could compose myself. If anyone is thinking of going to see a professional, I can honestly say the hardest part so far was getting myself there and walking in the door. I am going to see where it takes me so I will be going back next Tues. I just wish she could tell me what to do to makes things better, but unfortunately it doesnt work that way. I know once she gets to know me better, I will atleast get suggestions. She seemed to like that I was on this forum with you ladies, so we must be doing something right!

Can anyone share if they went to a therapist, and if so, was it helpful to you? How long did you go for? TIA

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

Way to go Nan!!!! I am soooo proud of you!

I would totally recommend going back and reading the posts on here. I know I started a post in late Dec/Early Jan about going "bra shopping" (that is what I call going to the therapist). while it was hard at times, when I took a night to myself and pretty much read every single thread on this board, it was quite cathartic. More than anything, I started to realize how "normal" everything I feel is, and how nothing is too weird to feel or think.

To answer your question specifically...yes, it has been helpful. Money is so tight right now that we haven't found the extra money for the copay for the past few weeks, but I look forward to going back soon. If for some reason you decide you want a person all your own to talk to, that is fine. A lot of people find themselves talking to more than one person trying to find the right fit. That is ok, and normal.

Anyway, I'm very proud of you! We are always here for you!

Karen
mom to William, Patrick, and our Angel Hunter
7-14-08

Hi Karen, thanks!
I feel so out of it, and now I know I have been out of it, because I did read your bra shopping post last week (gave me a smile). I haven't been through all of the posts, but I did read alot of them last week, and you are right, they do help. In fact, I think that is what may have helped push me to get to the doc - especially hearing that it has helped some of the ladies to go early on.
Its a sin that copays have to be out of this world, I hope you can go eventually. I am pretty lucky right now that I only have a $5 copay, but that could change in July. Our company was bought so we might have to go on their plan which stinks. I can certainly relate to money being tight, I am still waiting to find out if my disability is approved or not so I have had no income and hubby is laid off (he is in a Union).....yikes!
Well, thanks again, it helps to know you are here for me Nan

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

Nan,
I'm so glad you had the strength to go to a therapist. Sometimes it is a tough step to take. I have been seeing a therapist since about 3 months after our loss and it has helped so much. She has really helped me to reframe some of my thinking and I catch myself replaying her advice over in my head throughout the week... I think that is when I knew that talking to her was really helping. It would be great if they could just give us the solution to getting through this or help take the pain away but unfortunately no one can do that. I have found that really working through my feelings with her has been difficult but helps immensely.
I hope you find the same!

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

I had a lady come out to our house and I summed up my whole life in 30 mins. I am so emotionally stunted that all I feel is stress. I have no idea if I will continue. Good for you for having the courage to go.

Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob

"
Big brother Justin 8

Nan,

I too have been seeing a threapist....I go every other week and have been since Jan. I hated it at first, but have found it is really helping...I am so happy you are going. I am not sure how log I will need to go, I guess I will just know when that day comes. I am sure for each of us It is different. The hardest part of it was getting there the first time,

Good Luck!!!

www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com
www.thisisourLONGjourney.blogspot.com

Cathi

Our Precious Angels
^Raiden Landon^(B/D 10/17/08) 22wks
^Ryker London^(11/12/08-11/22/08)25w5d
^Gwyneth Bella^(11/12/08-12/1/08)25w5d

Megyn Velynda born 12/08/09 @ 35w 4 day

Thanks for the input and support everybody, I appreciate it. Yes it was hard to go, and now it may be even harder to go since hubby is going back to work the same day I have my next appt., so he wont be with me and he wont be driving me.

Has anyone else had a hard time driving yourself somewhere?

I start to make myself get anxious when I think about driving, and Im still having trouble being in a store. I had never experienced dizziness with a panic attack (I used to have them alot a few years ago), so this is a new symptom for me. I am hoping its just hormones coming down. I guess I will try the car ride tomorrow, I couldnt do it today.

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

Nan,

I had a similar problem for a while after I was home from the hospital. For me, I felt like it was shell-shock, almost like driving and being out in the world were just too much to handle. I felt very overwhelmed when I was anywhere on my own and couldn't handle driving on the freeway for quite a while. I felt the need to either been in the coccoon of my house or with my husband because he was the only one who knew how I felt and could talk for me, answer questions, etc. We have a Starbucks near us and I avoided it for the longest time because I hated when they asked "how are you today?" because I couldn't bring myself to say "good."

Just be patient with yourself, the best advice I ever received was that all I needed to do was put one foot infront of the other. That was all I could do at the time but slowly you will find yourself better able to get through each day.

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

>"the best advice I ever received
>was that all I needed to do was put one foot infront of the
>other".
>
Hi Jessica, I couldnt have put it more simple myself, this is GREAT advice, thank you! Nan

Hi Nan,

I didn't go but probably should have. I didn't want to leave my house, I didn't want to get dressed or really do anything. I finally left to go to work only because I had to. I remember having some very unhealthy thoughts during that first year. I don't have any advice but I am in awe of your strength. You are amazingly thoughtful, kind and supportive of others. I hope that I can do the same for you.

Dana

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

Hi Dana,

Wow, I am so flattered by your compliments that I have tears streaming (good ones!). For someone to say I have strength just floors me because I always feel like I am not strong at all. You absolutely do the same for me and you are thoughtful, kind and supportive as well. You have no idea how much I appreciate you and the other ladies here! Thank you!

Hugs, Nan

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

I promise I won't document every psych visit for you, but I just have to share that yesterdays appt was HARD. We switched the appt from today to yesterday since I couldnt drive and DH went back to work today. This whole past weekend was hard because on Friday it had been 4 weeks since the girls were born and then yesterday was the 6th, which I guess symbolizes the day of each month I will probably be accustomed to remembering for the rest of my life. So needless to say, going into the appt I was a mess again. She did tell me that having thoughts of concieving again was normal and that its actually a good thing since that is a thought "outside" of grief. I thought I was thinking those things to replace the girls, since I wanted babies to be here so bad, and there should be babies in this house, but then DH said "there is nothing to replace because they are here with us", and that just had me sobbing uncontrollably. *sigh* He thinks so positively, and then theres me: "but they are not here, I am not changing them, feeding them, kissing them or playing with them", I should probably take a lesson from him. Today I managed to drive two blocks away to the video store to return a movie, yay. It felt really weird but I guess thats progression. It actually feels a little less stressful being alone at home right now and I can do things at my own pace. xoxo Nan

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/