I'm just curious why each of you continue to come to the TC site. Is it specifically for this forum? Is it because of the general child raising advice?

To be honest, I'm having a hard time coming to the site anymore. I will sometimes go days without visiting, whereas I used to come several times a day. In my heart I consider myself a mother of triplets, so it's not as if I feel that I don't belong. But in the spirit of the site - sharing information and tips with other parents of triplets - I feel that I don't belong, because I have nothing to offer. I'm not raising triplets, and as many people have said on the main boards, raising two isn't the same. Aside from Caitlin dying, my pregnancy wasn't even complicated, so I can't even offer advice or support to anybody on bed rest or suffering from other "normal" triplet complications, because I didn't have those.

People with triplets make me jealous, people with twins make me angry (because I'm lumped in with them, and my children aren't twins). I'm just having a hard time feeling where exactly I fit, which I know is normal, and everybody else here has dealt with (and perhaps is still dealing with). I'm not really sure what I'm getting at, just curious.

Amy
Julia, ^Caitlin^ (due to encephalocele complications) & Gabrielle

Hi Amy,
Im quite new here so obviously I come here for this forum. I come here because I receive support, love, advice and warmth from only the women on this forum can understand. I think you will always belong here. You sound like you are struggling or frustrated and Im sorry if thats is so. Do you go on any other forums? Before I lost my girls, I was on a forum on pregnancy.org and they have a multiples section if you ever wanted to offer advice or get it, they are so nice too and its pretty active. Here is the link if you are curious http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/forumdisplay.php?f=165
I had to leave it all together, just too many memories. A few people still PM me and keep in touch. They have other sections that might help you too. Maybe you could just use a change of pace? Well thats all, just wanted to ultimately tell you we are all here for you. Hugs, Nan

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

I come for a couple of reasons. One is for the general advice. I can't think of where else to go to find that much parenting experience and expertise channeled into one place. Yes, a lot of the posts have to do with having three babies/kids to contend with but a lot of it applies to just one or two as well. So I've used some of the feeding advice to figure out how to feed my two survivors at the same time and I've also gotten a lot of good info to help deal with my one son's reflux. I do post sometimes, and it did take a little while to feel comfortable with that since I don't have three at home.

The main reason though is something you mentioned about fitting in. This specific board is really the only place where I know I fit exactly. The weird thing is I still feel like I fit better with the main board than I do with my local multiples group which is mostly twins. I have started going to those meetings again and it really stresses me out so I'm not sure if I want to continue or not for now. I had started going when I was pregnant, so anyone who was in the group then knows that I was pregnant with triplets but now it's all new people in the support groups. The first thing I always get asked is "How old are your twins?" and the rest of the night it's twins this, twins that. I just can't relate to that term. I know I have two babies at home so that makes me the same as them but I don't feel like I fit in.

That was a really long ramble which all goes to say that I think what you are feeling is normal and I definitely don't have it figured out either.

I love that picture of your girls, by the way. They look so sweet.

Allison

Mom to:
Madeline 09/2001
Jack, Evan & ^Alex^ 03/02/2008 @ 26 weeks

Amy,

While I was pregnant with the triplets I lurked around the main forum, extremely excited about the possibilities of raising three babies, when the complications came and I ended up in the hospital, I used the main forum for advise and support. I will tell you that it made every minute of the heart breaking experience a little easier knowing I wasn't alone.

When I lost my babies I still went to the main board because I didn't know what else to do. That is what I did for so many months so I just kept going. After my loss I started coming here to the bereaved part. I have made many friends here, I joined other mulitple loss websites Most and lambs, but I really never felt like I belonged. So I only find myself here. I am a triplet mommy at heart and although I did not get to bring my babies home, I feel like no other site or group understands what the few of us have been through.

I don't follow the main site anymore, because I dont need advise on raising triplets, but I come here because the women here understand the anguish of loosing one or more triplets. The support I receive here is different than anywhere else, the women here really understand what each other are going through.

www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com
www.thisisourLONGjourney.blogspot.com

Cathi

Our Precious Angels
^Raiden Landon^(B/D 10/17/08) 22wks
^Ryker London^(11/12/08-11/22/08)25w5d
^Gwyneth Bella^(11/12/08-12/1/08)25w5d

Megyn Velynda born 12/08/09 @ 35w 4 day

Hi Amy,

I often lurk on the site and only respond when my heart compels me to.

When we lost our triplets, I like you felt angry and jealous of what others had that I did not.

Over time, my jealousy and anger subsided and I came to the realization that I carried within me 3 beautiful and loving children and I am a Triplet Mum - even though my children are not on Earth.

For me, it was realizing what side of the line I stood on that made the difference on why I still visited TC - even before my 2nd pregnancy, I accepted that I was a Triplet Mum, the only difference was that my babies were with God.

I continued visiting TC specifically the bereaved section, because I wanted to help others in any way that I could - I have been blessed with a wonderful friend and kindred spirit because of TC and for that I will always be eternally grateful.

I wish your heart peace in whichever path it guides you onto, you alone know what your heart goes through - it is my hope that your inner compass will guide you in the right direction.

Amanda
Mummy to Earthly Angels BBG born on Dec 12-05
& BGB Guardian Angels (Sun/Moon/Star) taken to heaven on Jan 29-04 & Feb 4-04

awwwwwww and we love our kindred spirits, don't we? xo

I come back here when I feel like I have something to say that would help someone.....

But I have to say for me, the most important thing was finding 2 other girls who understood what I was going through and then we have kept up after our losses and have been encouragements to each other going through fert tx/pregnancy again. And our losses were 5 years ago.

Kind regards,
Melody
^bbb^ 11-03-03 at 22 weeks
BBB ^d^ 1-08-06 at 30 weeks I am an earthly mom at last!
keep up with us at www.lodyp.com