This year my kids, (all three of the triplets) were March of Dimes ambassadors. We did a half dozen TV appearances, and a couple interviews. One was for the local paper. At all of the TV appearances Eric was mentioned, and the kids were reffered to as triplets. Part of the reason we agreed to be ambassadors is that I wanted people to understand that prematurity doesn't always turn out perfect...or even good. That prematurity does take our babies away from us.

In the local paper the reporter took the angle that our sons loss fueled us to help MOD cause.

http://www.columbian.com/article/20090501/LIVING/705019990

In the article, she referred to our survivors as twins. I guess I should have mentioned that they are NOT twins when we talked, but honestly, it never came up, nor did it occur to me that she would say they were.

So, as I get ready to send out thank you's for people that donated, and for media that helped us spread the word, I wonder; How do I tell her with out seeming crazy or rude, that I wish she hadn't called them twins, and that they aren't twins?

Or should I even say anything at all?

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

We were ambassadors this year, too! How cool that you got to be on TV! We only got newspaper coverage. I agreed to be ambassadors for the same reason you did. I was actually surprised that one reported asked me if we preferred them to be called twins or triplets. I was so glad he did! It would really bother me, as is does you, if mine were called twins in the paper.

I'm not sure if I would even bother to correct her. If you really want to, could you maybe just send an email thanking her for the article, then mentioning that? I wouldn't include it in a formal thank you. BTW, what are you doing for thank you's? I just had photo cards printed with a note of thanks and picture of the kids holding a thank you sign, but am always looking for better ideas!

Here are the links to our articles, if anyone's interested.

http://www.modbee.com/life/story/671590.html

http://oakdaleleader.com/main.asp?SectionID=15&subsectionID=3&articleID=36654

I was happy to be asked to be ambassadors, i'm sure you guys were too! For me it was such a great opportunity to not only spotlight MOD and what good work they do, as well as get the word out that help and support was out there, but also to get people to understand prematurity is a real issue. And that prematurity isn't always the beautiful miracle stories you read about.

Those are great articles! What a great picture of you holding the babies, and they're so cute now! You're story always hits so close to home for me since your boys were identical too...

I think I will email the reporter, and thank her for the article, and somehow mention the twin/triplet thing. (don't know yet how...)

I ordered Kodak cards, had three pictures from this years walk, and the line below reads "Thank you! With your support our team raised over $1000 for March of Dimes!" With most I will also send a personal note.

The fundraising on the west coast is kinda slow, so I think our chapter was working very hard to get the word out. The walk here locally had 56 Family Teams and 84 Corporate Teams, 400 walkers, and raised $90,000!

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

That's great. Where are you located? We're on the west coast, too - central valley area.

We're up North, SW Washington. I originally come from Northern CA, but was raised in Oregon.

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

"...but it wasn't until she and husband Eric Landon had triplets born at 26 weeks that the nonprofit's mission became personal. Two of the twins, Vivian and Levi, are now healthy 5-year-olds... "

Looks more like poor editing and a lack of detail on the part of the reporter. She calls them triplets, then in the next sentence calls them twins.

I don't think I would correct the reporter in a thank you note. But I would definitely say things like "we enjoyed sharing about our triplets with you" or "thank you for sharing the story about our triplets, E, V, & L, and for helping to promote the MOD".

If you really feel that something should be said more directly, I would consider writing a note to the editor about attention to detail and proper use of the language. "two of the twins" really doesn't make sense.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

Poor editing is true, but it is also what everyone does. We say 'they are triplets, their brother passed away when they were a month old', they say 'Oh!! The twins are so cute!'.

It's frustrating!

I will send a thank you email, focusing on thanking for help in spotlighting the MOD and I'll be sure to clearly point out that I enjoyed sharing with her our triplets' story.

I wish it were more widely known that just because they see two they need not call them twins... I'm sure you deal with the same thoughts/feelings in connection with your DS...

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

>>
>I wish it were more widely known that just because they see
>two they need not call them twins... I'm sure you deal with
>the same thoughts/feelings in connection with your DS...


Yep. Only when I was out with just him, people would comment (he was such a cute baby and had distinctive "birdie" hair) and ask all the normal questions.... "how old?", "do you have others?". I found it difficult to answer when it was just strangers chit chatting in the grocery line.

I finally became comfortable with deciding "who" got to know that he is a twin, then I had the girls. Now, they don't miss a chance to tell everyone that their brother is a twin. But then I get sucked into conversations I really don't want to have with complete strangers. In trying to get on with my day, I'm afraid that the girls and DS will feel I'm a bit too nonchalant when talking about my angel. I'm not, I just don't always want to spill my guts to complete strangers.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

Hi Erika,

we were the ambassador family for the wheeling chapter in 2006 and 2007. I was always very concerned about that issue. The first year I couldn't intervew/talk to them because I still felt it was too personal for me to discuss with "strangers" but in the same respect I wanted to honor my son. My husband was interviewed and he told them upfront how we referred to them. I think if you would feel better addressing it then I would. I thought the thank you email was a good idea. I am all for letting people know because I think they would want to know plus maybe be more conscious for the next time and ask like the reported did in I think Amanda's case. You should do whatever feels right. The article was really nice. I agree that it does appear that it may have been an error. I'm sorry this happened. This year our team "Benjamin's Buddies" won third place for raising the most money. We were very excited. Let us know the outcome. Oh and thanks for all of the great thank you ideas.

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

It was hard to talk with so many people so openly about the kids, even this year, but it was good to do so...

It seems harder to address the twins thing at certain times. If i'm talking face to face it's easy to say "i don't have twins" but to correct later is hard. In some form I always feel like people think I'm a little crazy, 'oh, look, she can't let go of the past'... but in reality he is our past, present and future...

Wow!! Way to go on raising so much money!! We raised just over 1000 dollars this year, and i'll tell ya, it wasn't easy! Good job!!

In time people will "get it", right??

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

OK, I didn't think it was appropriate or worth your time to say something. BUT, I did think it was completely appropriate and worth MY time. I sent an email to the editor of the column.

Here it is (minus the formatting for emphasis that doesn't show on TC)-


Dear Ms. Williams,

I enjoyed seeing the Landon family in the Bits 'n' Pieces column of April 30. The research and training conducted by the March of Dimes saves the lives of countless babies every year, including my own. I'm always interested in reading about the cause and "meeting" the families who are selected as Ambassadors. These families muster all of their courage to share their deeply personal stories in order to raise funds to help other premature and ill babies recieve the finest care available. However, I was disappointed to see that the article was not carefully proofread and a horrible error was printed.

"...but it wasn't until she and husband Eric Landon had triplets born at 26 weeks that the nonprofit's mission became personal. Two of the twins, Vivian and Levi, are now healthy 5-year-olds. ..."

The Landon children are referred to as both triplets AND twins in consecutive sentences. Your staff and most of your readers may view this as just a simple error due to lack of detail. But, to refer to them as "twins" is insulting and hurtful to the family and to the memory of Eric, Jr. The Landon children are triplets and will always be triplets.

Please, as a professional, take better care in your attention to detail when reporting on such deeply personal stories. Perhaps a correction could be printed and an apology sent to the family?

Thank you,

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

BRAVO!!!!!

Please let us know if they reply to either of you. I think maybe a couple of these might be in order.

Karen
Mom to Patrick, William, and our Angel Hunter
7-14-08

Way to go! I would love to know the outcome of this. I second Karen on more letters.

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

What a great idea! I wish I'd thought to do that.

Response from editor:


You make a very good point.
Thank you for bringing it to our attention. The reporter has been in touch with the family.
Regards,
Elisa Williams
Features Editor
The Columbian


Response from the reporter:

Thank you so much for bringing the wording of the item about the Landon family to our attention. You raised a good point and we discussed it with the family.
Thank you,
Mary Ann Albright

Mary Ann Albright
Features Writer
The Columbian
360-735-4507

These messages came back to me within a day of my original. It just took me a while to check, as I didn't use my "mommy" address. I used my more "professional" one that I don't check as often.

FWIW, I chose not to provide details of my own loss, nor the circumstances of any of my children's birth. I wanted to be sure the point was made without anyone thinking it was from a lunatic, grieving mother who isn't in her right mind.

MonsterMom6
10 year old ^b^ b twins @ 30w5d (1 survivor) and
8 year old gggg quads @ 32w0d

I hope we find out if the reporter did get in touch with the family! I sure hope so!

Karen
Mom to Patrick, William, and our Angel Hunter
7-14-08

First of all, thank you so much for standing up with/for our family like that. Yes, she did get in touch with me...

I read the response you posted late one night as I was brushing and rocking Levi... one of those endless nights when he can't sleep. (every night) It brought tears to my eyes with gratitude for you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. really. I was too tired to respond, as it was 1am, and I get up for work at 3...
I kept meaning to, but work has been crazy busy (lumber trucking, so thank God it's finally picking up!!) and with the issues at home I never got a chance to get on the home computer. Then, my oldest son turned 18 that thursday...

I was shopping for last minute cards from the babies to him on my lunch hour, and I got a call on my cell. It was Maryanne. She apologized for the oversight, mentioned the email, and said it was truly a mistake, and she asked if i wanted them to print a retraction. I said it was not necessarry, that I appreciated that she understood what we were talking about, and that hopefully this will help in the future when employees of this paper thought of surviving multiples. I was impressed, and glad to be understood...

Thank you. from the bottom of my heart...

Erika

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

I just have to jump in and say, to all those who wonder why we still visit TC, THIS is it. You can not get support and understanding like this anywhere else. To have another mom who has walked in your shoes write a letter defending your family and honoring your survivor is an amazing gesture and Erika, it sounds like it meant so much to you. Sorry to butt in but I love it!

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

You said it!

There is understanding that I feel while "here" that I get from only one other friend. I am not here as often as I'd like, too busy with work and home usually, but the sotries I've read, and the support i've gotten at TC is never far from my thoughts...

Thank you all for being here with us!

Mom to:
Matt (1991) Megan (1994) and ^Eric Jr^ Levi and Vivian (2003) at 26 weeks
http://survivingtripletsandteens.blogspot.com

I really loved this entire post and responses. I've missed you all so much as I've been extremely busy and right now I should be preparing for a trial to commence tomorrow morning. I simply longed to see what all was happening with everyone.

Congratulations to our MOD ambassadors; congratulations for those who stood up for our friends here; and, thank you all for continuing to be a compassionate support group for those of us who have suffered the loss of one or more of our triplets.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
Born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.