I went in for my regular peri visit yesterday and was starting to dialate and had no cervix left. Because of an allergic reaction (long story) they couldn't do steroid shots so sent me home and said to come back today for my first round of steroids. Long story short, they put me on the monitor, contractions picked up through the day and I am now trying to make it to tomorrow to give the steroids 24 hours to work. I will be 34 weeks then which is much further than last time but would love a few more weeks. Right now it is looking like the baby will be here tomorrow though. It's been a very up and down day, for the most part I am okay but a few times I have been overcome with emotions from the events of our last delivery. I feel like a lunatic and my poor husband doesn't know what to do to help me feel better.

We could use all the good thoughts, prayers, whatever you can send our way.

Thanks for all of the support,

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

Oh Jessica
I will send every positive feeling, thought, vibe, emotion I have your way. You have done an AMAZING job! Just trust in that and realize that your little one just can't wait to see their mommy and daddy!

We are all going to be on pins and needles until we hear from you again. If you can't get to it, please have DH post a quick update or send me a message on FB and I will let everyone know.

Way to go Mama! You are going to do great!

Sending you ginormous hugs!!!!

Karen
Mom to Patrick, William, and our Angel Hunter
7-14-08

Jessica,

I will be praying for you...wow where did the time go...34 weeks is awesome!! I just checked your blog the other day and saw you were 32 weeks....You are going to do great, I can't wait to hear all of the great news.....Good luck.. I can't wait to hear what name you choose.....

www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com
www.thisisourLONGjourney.blogspot.com

Cathi

Our Precious Angels
^Raiden Landon^(B/D 10/17/08) 22wks
^Ryker London^(11/12/08-11/22/08)25w5d
^Gwyneth Bella^(11/12/08-12/1/08)25w5d

Megyn Velynda born 12/08/09 @ 35w 4 day

Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts. I'm doing okay now, the pain meds are making the contractions tolerable and also seem to slow them down for a bit so are buying us a little more time. I get my second dose of steroids in two hours. They checked me a bit ago and I'm 1cm but the head is at zero station so the doctor said they are not going to touch me unless I tell them things are feeling different. So we are on hold trying to buy time for this little one. I think we may have finally agreed on a girls name too which is a relief!

On another note, I am having SUCH a hard time today. I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming amount of emotions that I am experiencing. I literally could cry all day. So many memories are flooding back and I just miss my daughter so much. I wish she was coming here this afternoon to visit me with her brother and sisters and that all I had to hold was not a pendant with her ashes in it. I'm so afraid for how things are going to go this time. I know we have gotten so much further but last time we were told 28 weeks was great and that we should be in the clear, only to lose our daughter several days later. I just keep thinking, what if that is happening again, what if I am setting myself up for devastation by getting excited or anticipating that we will have a healthy baby home soon. I don't want to look back and think about how naive I was as to what could happen as I did last time.

If you are still reading, thanks for listening!

Jessica
Mom to Parker, McKenna, ^Hadley^ born 10/9/07 28w5d
little brother Sawyer
and big sister Ashlyn
www.fourplusanangel.com

Jessica, I am sorry you are feeling like this all over again, but you are soooo much further along and they are keeping you at bay for now so I think you are doing really good. The steriod shots are supposed to work really well, try not to worry (I know - shut up Nan!)and I am glad you are in the care of the hospital. Just try to take deep breaths and know that your little angel is looking down and is with you every step of the way. I pray you meet your happy healthy little one later, rather than sooner Love Nan xo

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/

I've been thinking about you all day and hoping everything turns out okay! I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but am really excited that you'll get to meet your new baby soon. I'm sure everything will be fine - keep us posted!!

Jessica, 34 weeks is awesome! I know you're scared and there's really nothing we can say to take that fear away. But just know we are thinking of you and praying for your baby girl. 34 weekers can even be take home babies so hang in there and try to relax. Sooo many things happen in the development of the baby between 28 and 34 weeks. I'm glad you got the steroids, but try not to worry too much because at this point, the lungs are developed. You did it, Jessica, hang in for as much longer as possible, but know you've already done a great job.
Thinking of you,
Cindy

-Cindy
Mother to 24 week triplets;
Brandon
^Ryan^ & ^Jessica^ (7/25/05-8/24/05)
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>

Hang in there Jessica. I think 34 weeks is awsome too. We will be thinking about you and praying for you, your baby girl and family!

Dana

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

Jessica, I havent been able to log in in a while and Im reading your post right now...

Im really glad you are 34 weeks, its the goal of all of my dr´s... by 34 weeks there is no chance of brainbleeds and they can suck, swallow breathe... My BFF had her triplets 3 weeks ago at 34 weeks and they did GREAT! they were in the NICU for 1 week just as feeders and growers... and your baby is only 1, so she´s bigger and stronger. If your baby is born during these couple of days, she will do great, I know it! Wow, made it from 28 with no cervix to 34, that is so great, you are an inspiration... please believe it!

You and your baby girl will be in my prayers,
hugs!

Monique
Mom to 26.5wk triplets, born 09/14/06
^Nicole^
^Daniel^
Nathalie

Jessica,

I'm praying for you, your family and especially your little one. 34 weeks is great! I'm sorry you are having a tough time with all of the emotions and memories of your daughter. I wish I could think of something to say to make you feel better. Please keep us posted, and best wishes for smooth sailing.

Allison

Mom to:
Madeline 09/2001
Jack, Evan & ^Alex^ 03/02/2008 @ 26 weeks

Just sending positive happy vibes your way - hope today is a little better for you. Love Nan xo

Nan~
In loving memory of my beautiful girls:
^Shelby Lee^, ^Megan Aimee^ and ^Lynne Barbara^,
March 6, 2009, born at 20 weeks, 0 days.
http://rememberingourtripletangels.blogspot.com/
http://forumforgrievingdads.com/