The 1st bday is coming up. I am so emotional I feel like I am losing it sometimes. After losing my baby girl and 3 months in the NICU, I am so happy this year is coming to an end. But....also so sad my boys are getting so big. I want to celebrate their life. They have had so many obstacles and I am in awe of them. Is there a way to celebrate and at the same time have something for my daughter? Any ideas?

Margie

Margie,

for their first birthday we sent Benjamin balloons. We went to the grave yard. We had a cake with all three of their names on their cake. We include Benjamin in everything. That's what I can think if real quick. I know some others have great ideas too.

I am sorry for your loss. That first birthday is so hard. for me it is still the time leading up the their birthday that is the most difficult. I am glad your boys are doing well. when is their birthday?

Jacob, Olivia, Benjamin
30 weeks 1 day

Hi Margie,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. And I appreciated the kind words you wrote on my blog.

I don't have much advice, as I didn't do much for my girls' 1st birthday. We do not live near family and had no friends at the time, as we'd just decided to permanently stay in Anchorage. My sister visited, and we drove to the ski resort and had lunch the day before the girls' birthday (the day we found out Caitlin had died). I bought a potted tulip at the food store on the way home, simply because I walked by the floral section and saw on that had three. We did nothing on their birthday - not even cake - because I figured they were too young to remember, and I didn't want to force myself to be celebratory when they weren't able to appreciate it.

I know some people release balloons, others donate clothes/toys to shelters, others plant trees. I think there's no right or wrong, just what feels right to you.

Amy

Julia, ^Caitlin^ & Gabrielle



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