I have been struggling with the idea of seeing a therapist or someone like that to help me with the loss of our son. While everything I read seems to indicate that my thoughts, feelings and emotions are "normal", my husband and my sister have both suggested it. I think they are concerned because my husband woke up in the middle of the night and I was sitting up in bed, sound asleep, rocking a baby. I have read that this is a "normal" greiving reaction. My sister is concerned because "I have not really had anyone to talk to about my experience that would understand or be able to help".

For those of you who did seek help..how did you know you needed it and did it really help?? It's not like you ever get "over" something like this.

Tammy

Nathan 12-14-02 - Our angel in heaven
Rachel 12-14-02
Hannah 12-14-02

Tammy

Nathan 12-14-02 - Our angel in heaven
Rachel 12-14-02
Hannah 12-14-02

I saw a therapist for a year after the death of my 18 mo old son. I decided to seek counciling after my son's drs determined that he was terminally ill. His Pediatric Oncologist actually referred me to someone. I found therapy to be very helpful because the situation was too painful for me to discuss with anyone else. I also discovered that for me individual therapy was much more helpful than group therapy as I could not take the additional pain of other people's losses. I think that now (8 years later) I could more easily discuss the loss with others whereas I could not during the first 2 years. Good luck to you. I am very sorry for your loss.

Nettie

Mom to g/g/g age 3 1/2
and 7 yr old big sister

Nettie

Mom to g/g/g age 7
and 11 yr old big sister
and ^angel big brother^

Tammy,

I think if you are even asking yourself this question it is worth pursuing. One thing I would suggest is trying to find a therapist that has dealt with others that have lost infants.

I have not seen a therapist with respect to our loss but had been going to one a few yrs ago for issues in my marriage. I went for only about 6 or 7 visits but it was so worth it. I think that that therapy along with a retreat program dh and I went through right before getting pg with the triplets were what got us through the pregnancy and the loss of one of the babies.

No one knows what you are feeling and I've told others that there is no word in our language to describe the emotion that accompanies our joining this club of raising one or more survivors. It's inexplicable.

As always, I'm very sorry for the loss of Nathan and I hope you can find some peace. A couselor might be worth trying. I'd do a phone "interview" before setting up an appt.

Marie

Marie

Hi,
Have you tried a support group? Many hospitals have them for bereaved parents. You can check with the hospital where you delivered at for starters. Then check into other local hospitals.
If you get nowhere, please check out one of the national bereavement organizations as well. They have local support groups scattered throughout the country.
www.missfoundation.org
www.nationalshareoffice.com
www.climb-support.org
www.compassionatefriends.com

I am not trying to sway you from obtaining professional help, but support groups can also help with grieving process, especially when you are surrounded by others who can in many ways "understand."

You know it's time to seek out help when you feel helpless. If you feel suffocated by your grief, definitely seek out support.

Very sad to hear of Nathan's death.
Sincerely,
7mozz

Hi.

I am so sorry for your loss of your ds Nathan. I know the previous post before mine mentions support groups, and I wanted to add another online support group that I have found very helpful for me: it is called fertile thoughts. The sight covers every topic imaginable related to pg, loss, fertility, etc.

The women on the board for 'loss of an infant or child' provide great support. We have all lost babies/children at different stages-some have lost singletons, others have lost multiples (one, two, three of more of their multiples).

I, too am not trying to deter you from seeking councelling. I am just throwing out another area for support.

I hope this helps. The website address is: http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/forums
click on "PARENTING" and scroll to "LOSS OF A CHILD OR INFANT"

April
Mom to ^i^ Hannah, ^i^ Ryan and ^i^ Abby. My 3 little birds in Heaven.

Joey, born 5/8/05 (Mother's Day!)
Laura, born 5/26/07
^I^, ^i^

A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment, It's glory and beauty belong to our world..

Korrie, that is so wonderful that you make burial gowns for the NICU. It was so important to me that Brendan be dressed. Thank you for taking on such a project.

Marie

Marie