Ok, so let's cut to the chase. This is the father's forum - a place for dad's to come and chat. Note the word father in the title. It's kinda like the men's locker room (ok ladies... envision all us guys hangin' out in our underroos).

Now we get visited quite regularly by the ladies. We all know that they can't resist reading our stuff. They seem to have this desire that they 'must know' what's going on in the Father's forum. Why is that? I don't know. Maybe they enjoy our posts. Maybe they can't stand not being a part of the conversation. Maybe they are just really bored (yeah, right... the DW's can be bored with all the little ones!). All I know, and everyone knows, is that the women read our stuff. And we can accept that.

But.... it really bothers me (I bet y'all didn't know that) that they feel they MUST be a part of the conversation. They seem to like starting their replies with 'sorry' or 'I know I shouldn't be posting here'... but they do it anyway.

I know I'm not the only guy that get's bugged by this, but I'm not sure what 'most' of the guys want, or if they even care. I don't want to make this form the 'RoadMoyer Ruled Forums', I want them to be our forums.

So here's every FATHERs chance to tell me what you think. THIS IS FOR THE FATHER'S ONLY! PLEASE NO DW'S POST HERE! How often should women be posting on this forum? Am I being to hard on our lady visitors? Are we being too soft (i.e. see if we can't get a private forum the ladies can't read)? Does anyone else really care? Trust me, I have strong opinions, but if the 'majority' wants me to shut up, just tell me to shut up.

I sure hope the DW's enjoy reading this! Hi girls! Y'all look marvelous today!

I'm voting for look but don't touch....if I feel I would like a response from the ladies, I would post in the main forum to begin with.

Phil
Proud papa to:
Brennan (18 mo.)
gbb (edd 7-25-03)

Phil
Proud papa to:
Brennan (20 mo.)
Jackson, Landon, Molly

I'd second the "look but don't touch" but also see the need for the occasional "need a guys perspective" type question. These types of questions usually get scrolled right of the main forum because of the volume of posts.

Note: 1st I said occasional and 2nd I said question.

I DO NOT feel it is appropriate for Mom's to be jumping in on the fathers discussions.

Jonathan
Dad to Al 18), Dan(16)
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (9-01)

Jonathan
Dad to Ally(25), Dan(23),
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (8)

Let's just rename it the Taliban Forum...

Chuck
gbg 1997
b 2008

If this would be the Taliban forum, how do we deal with those women who choose to speak here?








Paul
Proud Father of the Simonet3
Ashlyn Elizabeth
Alexander Mattingly Paul
Abigail Marie
12-27-02, 34w4d

Paul
Ashlyn, Alexander, Abigail
12-27-02, 34w4d

Roadkill

Why do I get the feeling that we need to keep this quiet or Martha Burk will be strolling along with a dozen ladies to protest our forum?






Paul
Proud Father of the Simonet3
Ashlyn Elizabeth
Alexander Mattingly Paul
Abigail Marie
12-27-02, 34w4d

Paul
Ashlyn, Alexander, Abigail
12-27-02, 34w4d

ROFL... too bad we dont' have access to their golf course... then we could have a true father's forum... after at least 1 round!

LOL

I agree. No women needed here. If they had a women's forum for feminine issues (pms, weight gain/loss, big body parts that won't shrink) I don't think you'd catch any of us lunking there even just "to look."

Todd

Maybe we should just start a "ask the fathers" forum, maybe that will keep them from posting here.

Steve
Dad of Meghan, Nichol & Christopher (5/8/99)

Steve
Dad of Meghan, Nichol & Christopher (5/8/99)

Ok Steve, let me answer you by asking you a question.

The question is: Why was I, Kozzie, allowed to post, up until 23/4/03, when I became a father? Before that I was not a father, and the name FATHERS FORUM did not apply to me. Furthermore, it does not apply to many other "TO BE FATHERS" posting at the moment.
Nobody kicked me out, or told me not to post. Why, because I am a guy, that's why!

So it's MENS FORUM and not FATHERS FORUM. It seems that we have double standards. We should either be more flexible or we need to define the boundaries very well.

Personally, I have no problem with women reading and even posting here. Especially when it is for issues that only we can answer.

Kostas,

As far as I'm concerned you were already a father. You were a man facing fatherhood issues on a steep learning curve. In my book this qualifies you to be here.

Regards,

John

http://webpages.charter.net/jnkspencer/index.htm

Kostas,

I have to agree with FullQuiver6.....I believe that once you found out you (DW) was pregnant with triplets, not only were you then considered a father, but more improtantly, a triplet father. Your duties as a father did not start at time of delivery, you had plenty of duties before....take care of your DW, start to learn what you need to know (ie..the father forum), get the nursury prepared, etc.

Yes, in a way, this is the men's forum, but it is fairly specialized in that it is men that either have triplets or more, or are expecting triplets or more, or were once pregnant (DW) with triplets or more.

Tripdaddy
Father of Sam, Rob, & Trey

;) So you're saying the babies inside your DW's womb aren't weren't your babies? To me, fatherhood begins long before the babies come out of the womb. So you were the father to babies from the day of conception

Kostas,

You became a father the moment your DW conceived a child. The duties of being a father began the moment you and DW learned she was pregnant. I am sure you began paying extra care to DW and started making early preperations for what you are doing today.

Hello All,

I vote for this being a male forum where we can seek some male bonding. If you guys are anything like me, there is little enough of that to go around these days. Especially with guys that understand (or soon will) what we are dealing with on a daily basis. I suspect most DWs relaize that this forum serves a useful purpose in our lives and that this is a good thing...

It is naive to expect that this forum will not be read by women. My own DW reads it occasionally. I have no problem with that. I am confident that my DW will not post here out of respect for my wishes and those of the other men here. I don't think it is too much to ask for the women to follow her lead.

Having said all of that, my recollection is that when women post here it is usually seeking male advice on some weighty issue. Perhaps we could develop a mechanism to dispense our (highly sought after) wisdom to the masses. I suggest that women who want male advice post in the main forum and place a one line post here calling our attention to the question. I further suggest that when women post here for other reasons, we not egg them on by replying to such posts thus encouraging their further posts...


Just my 2.5 cents (inflation)...

Regards,

John

http://webpages.charter.net/jnkspencer/index.htm

OK, here are MY two cents....in case you missed them on another thread a few days ago....

I think the name of the forum speaks for itself. There are three other forums on the TC site that I feel their names speak for themselves: Veteran Parents, Teen & Young Adults, and Triplet Talk. I am none of these, although I am slowly getting clser to Veteran Parent status b/c I do have "older" triplets....older than many, but not near older than most, so I do not feel that I qualify yet. Anyway, b/c I am none of these, I do not post at these forums. I do read the Veterans forum, but honestly have never once looked at Triplet Talk or Teen & Young Adults. I have not interest.

So what does that mean for the father forum? I feel that it should be limited to fathers (or fathers to be). I don't really have a problem with the moms posting a question that they need the dads' perspective on, but that usually seems to open up the flood gate for additional female invasion. I liked someone's idea for a different forum that is a "Dad directed questions" forum.

More importantly, I would like to see a mom's forum. I do like to read and post on the main forum, but frankly, some of the topics are completely non-relevant to me.....and very relevent to the females. The title of the main forum is Triplet Connection Multiple Questions. Many, if not most, of the questions do not relate to multiples but rather just personal info and idle chit-chat like we have on the father's forum. By creating a mom's forum, it should be able to clear a lot of that stuff up.

I like to come and post to the father's forum b/c I work with ALL (100%) women (75 or so) and I need quality adult male interaction on a regular basis.....the father forum is my only real outlet. Things are much too busy at home for me to go hang out with the guys in the evenings or the weekends. This is my form of male communication. I would like to see it that way.

I would also like the fathers to feel free to post whatever they want to post without getting flamed by the moms. Many times, we have seen a mom jump into a discussion and create an arguement. I think we eliminated most of this, but it does happen. I don't like the idea of having to edit my posts b/c I am afraid that it may get flamed and I don't want to ruffle feathers. We KNOW that the forum will be read....there is just way to much interest .(if I am wrong, no mom will see this sentence so I don't need to worry about being told, "we have no interest in your posts."......if you read this sentence, you have interest) I don't have a problem with the reading, it is the responding that I don't like. However, I also don't really appreciate when we get flamed on the other forum sites after our posts have been read. Let the moms that are interested in our forum read it, don't go and spread our words to those that don't take interest.

I am sure I will think of more.

Tripdaddy
Father of Sam, Rob, & Trey

One more thing.....I think each dad needs a screen name that is unique from their DW (TODD!) Frankly, everytime I see that "Cruella" has made a post, I read to see if it is an arguement with RoadMoyer

Tripdaddy
Father of Sam, Rob, & Trey

ROFL... scary thing is I do too!

Well said.

Jonathan
Dad to Al 18), Dan(16)
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (9-01)

Jonathan
Dad to Ally(25), Dan(23),
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (8)

If I can quote -

Tripdaddy said:
"and I need quality adult male interaction on a regular basis.....the father forum is my only real outlet. Things are much too busy at home for me to go hang out with the guys in the evenings or the weekends. This is my form of male communication."

I think this sums it up for me and my trips aren't here just yet. This is where I feel I can build my testosterone level up a little, lol.

M and K
Parents of "The Boys"
Dave,Eric and Sean
Born 07/15/03 at 32w4d

Well I am in the minority here. I could care less if they read the forum or respond.

In the grand scheme of things it just does not matter to me. If I have to say something that I don't think I want a member of the opposite sex to see, then I either do it privatly or not all.

We have to remember that it is not only women that can read this, but anyone that happens to visit this site can read it as well, you only have to register to be able to post.

So in closing just remember that this is the internet and what we say is not private by any means.

Gargoyle plus 3
Dad to BBB 05/03/00

I totally agree. This is a public forum, if you don't want your writing read by thousands of strangers then you should not post here.

On the other hand I feel confident in the relationship and love Grace and I have to know she won't misconstrue anything I write here.

It took me months to join the forum. The stir my Grace caused over at the main message board shortly after joining here, partly of her own making but not entirely, kind of soured me on posting anywhere on TC. After months of DW's encouragement, I finally decided to jump in but I stick almost entirely to the father's forum.

This should be our board, if the women want to ask for male advise from time to time that is fine. Otherwise I feel they should respect the board and not join in the general discussions.

I don't think anyone is really opposed to the women reading the forum. I don't think people are worried about privacy. I think the issue here is the men being able to post to other men without female input. For a little background for some of the newer forum members, there have been some pretty ugly arguements between some of the dads and some of the women ON the father forum. Some of the dads felt like they had to be careful what they said on the FF b/c they were getting flamed by the moms. I have been a member of the TC for almost 2 years now and the FF has only really picked up in the past 5 months or so.....at least from what I have seen....thanks to the encouragement of one of the moms. (Was is FullQuiver6's DW?....can't remember) Her suggestion was that the dads were not involved a lot on the TC and that the father forum would be a good outlet for discussion for not only her husband, but many other dads too. I totally agree! It has been great. But not long after that, the flaming started. We even got flamed on the main forum for having stupid topics that all reverted back to football. True....but thats what makes the father forum great.

My point again is that we are not looking for privacy, just to be left alone in our discussions. Of course we can't make it private, then how would prospective dads find us?

I personally love the FF b/c I feel like I have met some friends that are in the same boat as me and understand the issues that I am going through that all relate to triplets, like no other friend of mine can relate to. The silly, off-the-wall, sports, etc topics just help us get to know one another better and give us things to talk about when no serious issues are being discussed.

Tripdaddy
Father of Sam, Rob, & Trey

Gargoyle... thanks... like I said, I don't want to speak for everyone.

And as TDSteve said, I don't really care about them reading it (is what we say really that interesting?). I understand there is no privacy. I also understand that half the guys on here could be 'fakers', or women in disguise (is Todd really responding? Or is cruella unleashed some secret plot to take over the FF??? )

But again, thanks. I'm glad someone disagreed.

I S T T T T T W T A N B T T S H M G.

Now take your hands off the Bibles..

? ? ?

I
Swear
To
Tell
The
Truth
The
Whole
Truth
And
Nothing
But
The
Truth
So
Help
Me
God

But not sure what it means here.

Tripdaddy
Father of Sam, Rob, & Trey

Yes Tripdaddy Steve, you got it !

It has to do with the fakers. A faker cannot say that!

Gorgoyle
Very well put, I agree 100%

Steve
Dad of Meghan, Nichol & Christopher (5/8/99)

Steve
Dad of Meghan, Nichol & Christopher (5/8/99)

Gentlemen:

I also posted my two cents a few days ago, but must get on the record in the Official Post: No Girls Allowed. Period.

To quote a female: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Greg
Father to Sam, Katrina, Courtney (03-03-03)

Greg
Father to Christine (6), Sam, Courtney and Katrina (03-03-03)

Thought it was time for a refresher....


Jonathan
Dad to Al 18), Dan(16)
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (9-01)

Jonathan
Dad to Ally(25), Dan(23),
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (8)

This is what I posted on the main forum in response to jenanddarol:

"I agree that there should not be exlusionary rules, etc. regarding women. But, let's not put the FF in the same category as 'The Augusta National.'

The fact of the matter is that women have the ability to post on the father's forum. OK? So, if you would like to post, there's no block by the webmaster. As long as you know that some guys will offer their views, some of which may be non-welcoming, but you have the choice of ignoring them.

From a guy's perspective, it gets really old having to be so sensitive and politically correct on the main forum. The FF is a nice refuge. Men are from Mars ...

Yes, the main forum doesn't say "women only", but in a lot of ways it is gender-based. And guys will be eaten alive if they complain about certain issues. But just like women can visit the FF and choose to ignore "mean" men, we can do the same in the Main Forum.

Can't we all just get along?

Mike."

GBG born 6/12/01

Jonathan
Dad to Al 18), Dan(16)
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (9-01)

Jonathan
Dad to Ally(25), Dan(23),
and Aidan, Zachary, and Jillian (8)

Hi, I love you all and I have DIED laughing. But seriously, I think we (women) should read and not touch. You guys need a place to talk and maybe it should be totally off limits to us so you can feel a sense of safety in really talking about issues that concern you. I know that I would not be as frank in my women's group if I felt men were reading it. (I know I am about to be slammed, but it is true). And just from the quality of women I know on here, I know there are some quality guys who would do a great job of keeping order and sanity. Come on guys, go for it! Good luck.....

Tere (tinaboomom) proud mom to Dawn, Rachel, Amy, Tina, Boo and (Sam, Gabe, Riehle, born 11/25/02 at 30 weeks) 8 is Definitely enough!

was this in response to some male-bashing? I can't beleive that would ever happen here!

Long ago this was a great place for dads to hang out but like
all good things a few out spoken ... ummm females felt they had
to tear it down. They had to constantly throw their 2 cents in
on "the farther forum" which torked some of the guys.
Once the girls realize they were pissing the guys off they got
way out of hand and it turn into one big pissing contest where almost
every time some of the guys posted these girls would reply.
Finally the guys had enough, picked up their toys and left.
Like everywhere most of the girls are great but there is the small
group that always has something to say and it's never good.
You will learn to recognize them soon it's kinda easy because they
always stick together. Looks like your already starting to get the
picture.

This thread is just plain retarded. No wonder this forum is so quiet....

Dave