It is a tough decision.

We thought about the same thing, mostly because we didn't think we could handle it, and it was too many kids.

We now have 4 month old triplets and I can't imagine life without them. Yes, it's a challenge every day. It's also a decision for you and your wife to make together.

PS: Traffic has been light in this forum lately. Much more traffic on the main forum, although the response will be mostly female.

Good luck.

Greg
Father to Christine (6), Sam, Courtney and Katrina (03-03-03)

I can still remember going in to the fert. dr. for the implanting of the 3 embryos and naively laughing as the Dr. was saying, "sometimes we hit the jackpot on these."

The decision of whether to choose SR is a VERY personal decision. It is a decision that you and your DW will have to live with for the remainder of your lives. I can only offer these bits of advise...

Remember that this is you and your DW decision, not anyone elses.

You must come to a decision that you both support after discussing EVERYTHING that your decision impacts. Talk, talk and talk somemore, or should I say, listen, listen and listen some more.

Beware of letting minor things, ie: the possible replacement of a VW, impact major things, ie: to SR or not.

Try to think in the long term, not the short term.

Good luck in your decision making!

Ken
Husband to Ann
Dad to Sarah-12,
Joshua, Kyle and Jessica(07-07-
03)

I know too well the situation that you are going through. I am guessing that most of the responses you will receive are from fathers of triplets and not expecting fathers. We are 14 weeks and we too had to discuss the possibility of SR. In the end we decided that SR is just not an option unless there would be serious health issues with DW or the babies. This is a decision that you and your DW are going to have to make. These are not words from experience, but words of thoughts going through the same situation as yours "Don't try to push your DW to do something because of logistics. It is a very difficult decision that might be 20 times harder for DW. If you pursuade her and she did not want to go through SR there will always be questions and maybe hard feelings in the future. Please make sure that the decision is right for both of you?"

Now that we are past the decision stage of SR the road has been much smoother. Don't get me wrong, I am still scared Sh@#less, but I have excepted the challenge and would not have it any other way. I wish you the best with your decision!

soontobe3

Jason,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I urge you to seek a second opinion from a Higher Order Multiples (HOM) specialist that is not affiliated with a fertility clinic. I suspect the second opinion will reveal that SR does not significantly imrove the chances of a healthy delivery and in fact adds unacceptable risk for the babies and their mother. Unfortunately some fertility specialists see HOMs as being detrimental to their 'stats' (I guess the chance of having HOMs might scare potential future clients). Please get the facts from someone who has no personal stake in your decision before proceeding.

All of the things that you mentioned are true. HOMs are hard, they change your life, you have to get a bigger car, it takes a little longer to reach your goals. All of this pales by comparison to having three babies to hold and love. Since you went through the fertility process, I have to presume that you see getting pregnant as a success. How then can being preganant with three babies be less of a victory and not more? Just my two cents.

I have included some links to previous threads on this subject. Please read them. They contain the perspectives of many who have faced your situation. Also please don't hesitate to come here for advice whenever you need to.

http://www.tripletconnection.org/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=12118&forum=forum1

http://www.tripletconnection.org/dcforum/DCForumID17/209.html

http://www.tripletconnection.org/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=10142&forum=forum1

Regards,

John

http://webpages.charter.net/jnkspencer/index.htm

A few things you will find here:

1. The vast majority of us had successful triplet (quad) pregnancies.
2. A vast majority of us were advised to SR.
3. A vast majority of us chose not to SR.

Like the others have mentioned, this is you and your wife's decision and no one else and is no one elses business. I am not going to say that you should do one or the other, but I will offer my personal experience.

We were advised by our fertility dr. that carrying three was quite a risk and we should consider reducing. The Peri that the infertility dr. sent us to, said the same.....we were strongly considering the option.....so we went to another dr. for a second opinion. He told us that in his experience, a triplet pregnancy was very similar to a twin pregnancy. (not sure I agree after talking to all the twins moms we know) Anyway, we asked if there was any medical reason why my wife could not carry trips....he said, "no" So we went with our gut and decided not to reduce. We put it in God's hands. I thank God every day that we did not reduce as I would only have two of the three precious babies that I have today.

Keep in mind that there are risks of losing the entire pregnancy when SR is performed.

Again, you can see my standpoint on the issue, but I WAS in your shoes at one point in time. We had to make a hard decision and I am pleased with the decision we made. The pregancy was not easy. Wife went on bedrest at week 20 and was in the hospital full-time starting at week 23. We delivered at week 33 and 5 days. All three were and are very healthy and we thank God for that.

I will praying for you and your family.

Tripdaddy
Father of Sam, Rob, & Trey

Thank you all very much for the positive encouragement. Your contributions have made things a little less scary.

DW is still only 7 weeks along and suffering severe nausea. Poor thing. The DR gave her some medication to help her get through it. We received our official due date of Feb 12 but that of course is based on a single child term.

We won't be seeing the HOM specialist for another three weeks. This doctor (who was recommended by our fertility DR) is supposed to be the best in the Pasadena area and the only Dr that our fertility Dr would recommend.

So with twins did everyone here end up buying three of everything? I was actually considering having a crib custom made should we decided to keep all 3.

==============
Connor, Chloe, & Gwynne - 3 Precious
miracles born 11/03/03 @ 25W

See our babies at http://
360.yahoo.com/jasonnferris

All we have to decide is what to do
with the time that is given to us

Our decision was easy when confronted with the option to reduce. We basically said, "We tried very hard to have a baby. Now God has given us three of them. We weren't about to give one back."

Unless your wife has an issue that might prevent her from carrying three, take this forum as proof that it can and, most likely will, come out fine.

As far as work and school... in reality, these are things that may have to get prioritzed for the time being. Can you take a year off school?

Having triplets is NOT easy. You have the rare distinction of being unique to the world, but just shy of charity and free stuff LOL!! However, I believe these are Gods children and he has asked us to raise them.

Just like the above poster, I couldn't imagine life without any of the babies. I look at them and think of SR and wonder, "Which one would I have missed out on?"

I hope you make the right decision and that peace will prevail regardless. Whatever you do, you have to never look back. Make sure you are sure...


Good luck, friend!

PS: If you end up with two, you're still welcome here Update us?

Surviving husband to Tammie who passed in March of 2009.
Now married to Nina.
Father of Samantha Nicole, Kayla Shea , and Dominic Paul born on 10/14/02
Step-father to Kristina Nicole born on 09/24/85
Grandfather to Riley Faith born on 5/13/06
Come and see

You are trying to make the choice of life a practical matter. I was overwhelmed when we found out we were having triplets. We had to move, we had to buy a bigger car and all the other stuff that comes with 3 babies at one time. They are now a year old and the most precious thing in our lives. How lucky we are to have these wonderful kids. Each of them is unique. Which one would I give up? None. Never.

I don’t know where you stand from a religious standpoint but taking the life of a child is the worst sin known to God and man. Christ is clear about how he feels about children (born and yet to be born). Tell your wife you where wrong and that you want three healthy children. The first words out of my mouth when we got the news was “I’m on the team”. You need to get on the team. You don’t have another option that you can live with in peace for the rest of your life.

I don’t want to change your mind I want to change your heart. These are your kids. School can wait. All the other issues are not important. I have been there and will be for the long haul. The first six months will be very tough. You will need as much help as you can get. The nights will be long and the house will be a mess. But what fun we have and the love we share.

If you want more info you can email me. craigh@flash.net

Welcome to the father's forum. This is the right forum for this question - - we will shoot straight from the hip. I know you aren't asking us to make this decision for you. Rather, I am assuming that you want to hear all perspectives. So, here is mine:

Hindsight is 20/20: I shudder at the thought of not having any one of my three children.

Mike.

GBG born 6/12/01

Well, I thought I would give you all an update.

Today we went in for another ultrasound and after hearing the heartbeats of all three, It was then coupled by the advice and kind words here that I made my decision that I didn't want to reduce. I told my wife and she was simply overjoyed.

I know the road ahead is going to be a scary one, but its one I am very much looking forward to!

==============
Connor, Chloe, & Gwynne - 3 Precious
miracles born 11/03/03 @ 25W

See our babies at http://
360.yahoo.com/jasonnferris

All we have to decide is what to do
with the time that is given to us

Congratulations,

I am sitting in a hospital room with my wife who is currently 32weeks 3days pregnant with triplets.

When we found out that we were pregnant with triplets it was in our fertility doctors clinic and was a total shock. Our fertility doctor seemed angry at himself and one of the first things he mentioned was reduction.

He put us in touch with a perinatologist who phoned us at home about 3 days later. After speaking to her we were encouraged to hear her positive thoughts on our situation.

The pregnancy has been nerve racking and my wife was admitted at 26 weeks, 6 weeks later she is still pregnant with babies estimated at over 4lb each!!

I have no idea what life is going to be like when the babies arrive and come home with my wife, my 20 month old daughter and myself. I am sure it is going to be tough but on the bright side, in 10 years I won't have to do any yard work

Everyone is different. Whilst being in the hospital for 6 weeks I have met fathers who have had single babies born at 24 weeks, 26 weeks and 28 weeks, so nothing is guaranteed even with twins or singletons.

I wish you and your wife all the best in whatever you decide.

NC_TRIPS

PixelPusher,

Your story is exactly like ours. My wife has PCOS, we did Clomid, Follistim, and Gonal-F; on the second IUI, we were successful. Our triplets are expected 12/30/03. We were approached with SR by our fert. doc, but we declined having discussed it previously. We had invested (and still are) so much blood, sweat, and tears to conceive, we couldn't think of removing one. Ours is basically a spiritual reason; we believe life begins at conception. Our beliefs, and our decision. Yours and your DW's views may differ from ours; that's why it's a personal decision to be made as a couple, NOT individually. Our philosophy is that God won't give us anything we can't handle!

My wife probably won't go back to work (she's a teacher) which will cut our monthly income in half. We've upgraded our vehicle and are refinancing the house to help offset the increased payment. I just received a promotion and am in the process of negotiating a raise; we'll be OK until next summer, but after that I may have to begin looking elsewhere.

As for the school/work situation, that's a hard one. On one hand, you are close to being done and putting it off would make it hard to go back. On the other, you may be able to finish by extending your schooling, taking fewer classes at a time. From what I've heard, we won't be sleeping much anyways!

Just my 2 cents as a new member here and a soon to be proud pa of 14W6D triplets.

War Eagle!
Ben
Husband of Kim
Father 2b of ???

Husband of Kim
Soon 2b father of 3 (???)
12/30/03

Congratulations on your decision.

After reading everything here I am even more surprised that our Fert doc never brought up reduction to us. Seems like most have. On our first trip to our peri he offhandedly asked us if anyone had discussed SR with us. We said no, knew what it was, and stated that unless there was a medical issue with DW, there was no need for a discussion. He seemed very relieved.

Again, CONGRATS, and good luck.

Regards,

Mike

Proud Daddy of Kate, Michael, Xander 2/01

Regards,

Mike

Proud Daddy of Three