placed them together again? My girls are in 1st grade in seperate classes. We had them together in pre school and in Kind. Two of them are doing well emotionally and all are doing well academics wise. One of my daughters is still having spurts of seperation anxiety and it is almost APRIL??? Is this normal? Should I just stay with them seperated or should I put the one who is having difficulty with another next year? The homework is a killer but we are getting used to the three teachers, rules, etc.
I guess I'm just looking for advice and or stories. DH says we should just stick it out.

Thanks,
Joyce

Yes...we had them together K and 1st. Separated for 2nd - 4th. Put back together in 5th. Bottom line: during the 2-4 years, one did great the other two had problems (clingy when they WERE together since they were apart during the day, friends decreased, grades went down, became depressed,...) We put them together upon their request for 5th and it was like we had different kids! They made friends as a group, grades shot up (yes..we are sure there was no cheating!), and overall confidence increased. We both so regret letting to go as long as we did. It had been in the back of our minds after 2nd grade to put them back together, but kept wanting to stick it out. I wish we could have those years back. I have found this idea of independence isn't nearly as important in life as happpiness and security.

But, this is just my story and opinion. I am sure there are others with different situations. I would say to do what you feel is right for them not just what you think you are supposed to do.

Good luck!

Stephanie
Ashley 10/24/89
Kristin, Alex and Ben 4/9/92
(GBB @ 35 weeks)

Thanks Stephanie. See I'm so undecided. Last year it was a huge decision from us to seperate and now I feel like I may have jumped the gun. I want them to be as individual as possible but I also don't want them to be upset. How did the school deal w/ your decision to put them back together?
Thanks again.

They actually were fine with it. They were seeing what we saw and realized we weren't set in stone either way. We just needed them to be in the best setting to learn.

Stephanie
Ashley 10/24/89
Kristin, Alex and Ben 4/9/92
(GBB @ 35 weeks)

My kid's school history:

Preschool 3 years together

Kindergarten all together only because there weren't 3 classes

Grade 1 all apart

Grade 2 all apart

Grade 3 all apart

Grade 4 "C" alone, T & J together due to the teachers and their strengths

Grade 5 "T" alone, J and C together, again due to what this teacher had to offer each of them

I worked at the same school that my kids attended and I knew that we had some very poor teachers and some extremely great teachers, so I placed my kids accordingly.

Grade 6 they were off to middle school and I requested the same team (group of teachers) but the kids were placed in classes by computer shuffle. Sometimes they were together sometimes not. They didn't always choose the same elective classes either. I actually got to choose the team they were put on because I had an "in" and knew who the good teachers were. I think there were 6 teams. By the time they got to middle school they enjoyed having the same teacher so they could do homework together, SOMETIMES. But they did mention once and a while that they really liked it when they didn't have to constantly see a sibling in class or the hallway. My older son also was at the same school as them most years.

Like I always say though, each family must do what is best for them.

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

Mine are all together this year (all day K), and we are still debating about next year. I think one would do well, and the other two not so well. One of my three has now developed a tic cough, and we are seeing 2 specialists to see if it is sinus or emotionally based. She seems to struggle with being away from me, so she would be devastated if we split her from her sisters!
I can speak from personal experience though (I have an identical twin). We were split during all grades and although it may have helped us become more independent, it was devastating during several of those years to be apart. We begged our mom to keep us together when we moved in 8th grade. She supposedly had no say in the matter. I still remember the first 2 weeks of school like it was yesterday. Sometimes I think I overthink some decisions and should just go with what I believe to be the best from the get go. You need to follow your gut!

Lori

Mommy to ggg born at 29 weeks, 5 days on 1-30-01

We did Young 5's and kindergarten together and then seperated for first grade. It was a rough year for everyone. One triplet had a much better teacher. We had spelling tests on three days and homework due on two. I forgot so many things it wasn't funny. I went to the Halloween party and spent the whole time running from classroom to classroom. I didn't even go to the Christmas or Valentines parties because it was so horrible. They fought about everything..."I got to do X and you didn't"...

I put them back together this year for 2nd grade. It's been an excellent year. My kids are very independent - I had a mom tell me last month that she didn't even realize they were related. They'll be together again next year for sure.

Lori --
Mom to Zac (9/91) and triplets Noah, Karissa & Jazmine (5/98 at 27 weeks)

lORI,
yes yes yes. I have forgotten things so many times this year. Who has what due on what day. Wrong homework in folders. Can't volunteer for one class and not the other (so everyone gets left out) One teacher has a bunch of presentations that include the parents and the other two teachers don't. UGH It drives me crazy some days.
Thanks for your input, good to hear it's not just me.

Joyce

Joyce
GGG 7/6/00
B 5/24/05

I kept my girls together for preschool, kindergarten and first grade (this year) and plan on keeping them together until there is an issue. It's really a matter of what works for your family. My girls are very independent and don't really pay much attention to each other during the school day. It was important to me to be able to be a room mother, volunteer, field trip chaperone, etc. so having them all in one class lets me do that without cutting myself into thirds!
I figure right now is the time when they 'want' mom to be at school helping, in a few years they won't want anything to do with me (sigh) so keeping them together now just seems to work for us.

Laura M. - Chicagoland
mommy to miracles
Hannah, Sarah and Emma
4/21/00 --- 28w5d


"Many children, many cares; no children, no felicity." -Christian Nevell
Bovee

Joyce,

Glad to have you on the board! Yes, I've had my kids together and separate. My boys prefer being apart. They have plenty of time together and enjoy having their own teachers. We've been very lucky and we've had amazing teachers for each of them.

In preschool and kindergarten, they were together. From 1st through 3rd grade, they were apart. In 4th grade, we did a 2/1 split. It's worked out fine. The teachers are terrific. They all want to be the one with their own teacher. But having only 2 classes helps me! I've had 2 knee surgeries this year and I knew I would be at my limit at times. This had helped me.

I would not suggest putting your daughter in with her sister since it's almost April. But separation anxiety happens. For one of my boys, it hit in 2nd grade. Just as school started, we moved back into our remodeled house. Same friends, same school, same everything except he had his own room. This was a huge change for him and we had crying for several months. It was the same at the beginning of 3rd grade. Lasted for months. He just missed me. But he got over it and is now a stronger kid. No crying at all in 4th grade!

Best wishes in your choice.

Sharon
10 year old b/b/b + 13 year old son

I would try to stick it out. Have you talked to the school about this? At the end of the school year last year the principal called us and asked us if he could recommend what who he thought should be seperated. We have 2 classes for each grade up to 5th grade so every year one kid will be in a grade without the other 2. Now that ive seen the seperation I would love for all 3 to be in seperate classes but thats not an option here. The kids seemed to adjust really well to one being in a class by herself.

What the principal recommended is what we ended up doing.

Sandy

mom to 4 kids
oldest is 18, and trio age 7

I agree with tripplefun. Definitely stick it out this school year. Speak to the principal AND teachers to hear what they recommend. When I taught Kindergarten, I had one little boy who had separation anxiety throughout most of the school year. He was the sweetest little boy, but you could tell he wanted to stay home with his Mommy. Almost every morning he'd come to class crying a little for about 10-30 minutes. Then he'd get over it and was happy the rest of the day. I spoke with his Mom, and she said he enjoyed the class and didn't complain about any student bullying him or mean teachers(lol). He was just extremely sensitive. Also, talk to your daughter and ask her how she feels. Good luck! -- Gloria

Uhgg you guys are scaring me now.. We have kept the triplets together in prk & Kind. They want to seperate for 1st. Me not so much but I think it will help in them appreciating each other more. Also I will have a meeting with the principal on parties and such bringing them into together for the Valentines on since that is their B-day. I am really nervous on seperating more for myself then anything. I mean I work a fulltime job plus teach gymnastics and keeping track of all the homework will be a challenge in itself..

I always tell moms to realize that if these kids had been born as 3 singletons, you would have 3 classrooms and 3 teachers to deal with anyway. When all 4 of my kids were in elementary school I just dedicated Halloween to one child, Christmas to another etc. as far as room parties went. It worked. Sometimes I would slip out and drop into one of the other rooms to say Hi and give a hug. It really did work out fine. Track and Field Day was awesome cuz I could be all over the place that day.

As moms we could drive ourselves nuts trying to always make things equal, but it just isn't going to happen.

Good luck with your decision.

mom to:
Ryan 32 The Lawyer
Jason 30 The Chief Meteorologist
Chris 30 The College Student
Tim 30 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!

Kathy,
I so totally agree with you! I think my kids learned that everything's not "fair" early on. I never tried to make them think that everything would always be equal. At my kids' school, each class has one "room mom" who is responsible for putting parties together. I have always volunteered and told the committee to put me in whichever class NEEDED a room mom. And I told my kids that I would help wherever the most help was needed. They have never once complained about this not being "fair". They get enough love and attention at home, and they know I am very involved with all their activities. Splitting time equally between the classes just isn't an issue for us. And, like you said, there are parents in our school of 4 of 5 singletons who have a MORE difficult time dividing themselves up than I do!

LCN
21 year old college senior
14 year old bbg triplets--teenagers!

Then I guess we will be fine cause our girls get the love and attention they need from mom and dad plus their two older sisters.

I guess sometimes it is scarier for the parent then the child. I mean I already balance 5kids homework now so them having different will kind of be a blessing they won't be able to say no thats not right or I already did that.. Cause they will all be different homework.. I think we can do it and be OK.. I already spread myself between five girls so I think I can handle three different class rooms.