They're 4yo, new to beds, and I want them to stay in bed at night. I thought a veteran's moms perspective would be helpful. Does that really happen? If they're not tearing the room apart and going wild, should I care if they get out now and then? I'm trying to figure out how strict to be about it. And how the heck do I enforce it?

They do not have any toys in their room. And actually, only 2 are in beds right now. The third went back in the crib since he was getting out constantly while the others stayed in, and that was the threat I made. He's trying to earn his bed back, but I'm sure once he gets it, he will get out again! But ongoing, I'm not going to dissassemble/assemble cribs and beds.

They are good kids. They won't destroy stuff. But they will tend to play. Mostly they stay in bed, but last night I hear the little feet running over to another's bed. I could open the door, catch them out of bed, and discipline them. Or I can let them think they'll pulling one over on me. Or I can tell them, they can play for a bit (ie set a timer) and then they must stay.

I'd appreciate any wisdom you have! Thank you!

Mary

born 12/12/04 33w2d

Our boys were in regular beds before yours, so our experience is quite a bit different. Our guys all climbed out of their cribs the same night, so I broke all the cribs down, haul the cribs to the garage and the boys slept on their crib mattresses on the floor. I think they were about 2.5 yrs old. By 5 years old, the boys had a bunkbed and one single bed.

By having the mattresses on the floor, "falling out of bed" was no big deal -- when they could stay on the bed all night, they graduated to raised beds.

Like you we had no toys in the bedroom, nothing that could be pulled over, etc. We even took the light bulb out of the fixture so they would not get up and play with the lights.

One of us sat outside of their closed door and would get them back in bed if we heard them get up. A bit tedious, but after a month or so, they stayed in bed (I found the time to be a good time to get some reading in.)

I think it is worthwhile to impose a stay-in-bed rule and keep to it. In the long run it will be easier on you, though perhaps not for the short term. Kindergarten will be coming up sooner than you might think -- and good sleep habits will be important so that the kiddos are well-rested for school in the mornings.

Again, with 4 year olds, I don't know exactly how long this will take...there is a lot more independence at that age than when we started. Lots of luck!


Vaughn and the ABC Boys
Alex, Bryce, & Calder
3-31-97 @ 28.5 weeks
http://s515.photobucket.com/albums/t356/vaughn3abc/

"One of us sat outside of their closed door and would get them back in bed if we heard them get up. A bit tedious,"

Yep. My kids were younger then yours so hopefully they will just "get" it quicker.

Really the best way to get kids to stay in bed is to wear their butts out all day long so they are soooo tired by nightfall they just go to sleep. Oh and to not let them stay up too late and catch their second wind.

I guess I am with the others on this too,so now real advise.My kids were all in beds by 3.They were split 1/1/2 so the single ones never gave us any trouble.The 2 girls did try to get up and play,but I was right there to out their butts back in bed.I would sit in the hall and match socks and fold laundry....I could WAY out last them!
I would not give them control...make the bedroom a place for sleep,no timers..no 15 min of play time.I would get working on this now b/c it is dark so early...summer time could be a bigger problem.
I would also lock all drawers and closets,no toys just a book and a lovey if they already have one.
DON'T keep taking cibs up and down..
Becky
Realtor in Ohio and Indiana
Emma,Amber,Ian 8/18/99
Olivia 9/29/00

I am actually surprised at the consensus so far, but pleasantly. I have done the sit by the door thing when we go on vacation, but not yet at home. We're still in the first week, so I was just trying to figure out which way to go. I tend to be strict on alot of things, and I was second-guessing myself on this rule.

Please keep the advice/experience coming! It is very helpful to hear from the vets! Thank you.

Mary

born 12/12/04 33w2d

Ok, voice of dissention here:

We moved ours to beds at 19 months. I had a three month old at that time, so there was no way I was going to play hall monitor. Mine were allowed books and soft toys--nothing noisy--but they had to go into their room and stay there--quietly. If they played all of nap time, that was fine, but they did not get to nap later, and they still had to be quiet. At bedtime, if they stayed up for an hour, that was fine, but wake up time was still the same the next morning. Yes, they got out of bed. Yes, they played. Yes, they slept on each others beds, on the floor, and on each other. Did it matter? Nope. Within a couple weeks, they would lay in their own beds and fall asleep on their own without issue...without me having to run in there every five minutes.

They will sleep when they are tired. They will get used to the routine. Mine are now 9 and I still hear them going to different rooms depending on what they want to listen to while falling asleep. Last night, my two girls and singleton son all slept in the boys' room to hear Radio Disney while my triplet son slept on the bottom bunk in the girls' room to hear an audio book. No fussing, no stress.

My triplets (now 13) went through a phase at 2 years of getting out of their toddler beds and going to the Kitchen and leaving the fridge open. This is just one of the many phases we have gone through with them, pulling off sheets (solution: binded them underneath with those old lady garter things), pulling off diapers (solution: put them on backwards), Throwing their bowls of food (solution: put food directly on tray)..many many more.

When they went through the getting out bed phase, it only lasted about 3 months. My husband and I took turns sleeping in their room on a twin bed pushed up against the door. After the 3 months, they rarely got up.

Now that they are 13, I find them all over the place. Sometimes, all on the couch, sometimes all on one bed, sometimes separately.

I don't worry about it now, as long as they don't wake me up *G*!!

Lisa
mom of 15 yr old Cameron
13 year old bbb triplets, Carter, Jordan, Brenden (@32 weeks)

just wanted to thank the moms for their input. I've decided to start off strict; I can always get lenient later. I have a video monitor in there and mostly they (still just the two) stay in bed really well. when I do hear them getting up, which isn't every night, I go to the door immediately, knock as a warning, and just tell them- I thought I heard some feet and someone out of bed. I sure hope you are staying in. I will be sitting outside the door to listen now.

Just the warning seems enough. and then they stay in and go to sleep. I don't really sit outside their door since I have the monitor, but they don't know that.

the fact that their brother is still in a crib due to getting out of bed so much probably serves as a visual warning too of what might happen. he did earn his bed back, but it lasted about 5 minutes. oh well. now he's trying again! it's actually so much easier on me this way though!

so thank you again!

Mary

born 12/12/04 33w2d