For those with older kids, (mine are 12 and 7th grade), what is your take on Facebook for middle school age? I recently gave in, but later rescinded it (just wrote a whole whiny blog post about it).

Just looking for opinions here.

and by the way - happy Fall everyone.


http://teensandtriplets.com
Wiltrip Mom with 5
2 teens & BBG - school age and easier than the teens!

All 4 of my kids got Facebook when they reached 7th grade.
my rule is they have to "friend" me and I have to have their password.

I am not a huge FB fan. I mostly use it to play scrabble with a friend who lives across the country and to see pictures of my cousins' kids but it does open your eyes to the world your kids live in.

My daughters have done really well with it. My son has lost privledges twice- neither time for things he posted but for giving his password to friends and what THEY posted.
He has had to "unfriend" a few people for their language.
Now that he is a sophmore, I can ignore mild cussing.

It is a hard decision. I do see pitfalls and if unregulated kids can really get out of control. They tend to develope lots of relationships (friends of friends) but most are so superficial.
On the other hand, it is here to stay for a while. It is how they all communicate and I didn't want my kids to be totally out of the social loop.

If you think you can get on the computer often enough to moniter and you think you are strong enough to respond to inappropriate language and behavoir, I would let them get an account.

I had the same rules as Judie, except that mine were in 9th grade when the girls first got FB. My son wasn't interested until he was a sophomore. I had their passwords and checked frequently. I did have my son unfriend one boy that was just terrible with what he posted and what he wrote on other peoples walls. I told them when they turned 18 they could change their passwords. Well, they are 18 now and one has un-friended me, (she thinks it's weird to be FB friends with her mom) but all still have same passwords (I checked).

Trish Dawson
Mom to bgg (1992 @ 31
weeks)

The boys were 14 when they got their Facebook accounts. Like the others, they have to be my friend so I can monitor what they post. We've never had a problem. I got on FB to monitor them, and I use it more than they do!

Heather, BBBB (two identical, two fraternal) 28 1/2 weeks, now age 18!

My oldest has Facebook but doesn't use it a whole lot. It's there but he's not obsessed with it.

My trio hasn't asked for it yet and I'm holding out until they do. I did get them their own email this year and they are entering 8th grade. I have the passwords but I've seen their emails and they are innocent. Lots of homework type questions.

Many of the junior high kids have Facebook. I'm not thinking it's essential. But I'm not sure I would have given the kids access, then taken it away. Even with good reasons, it's a very mixed message and my kids would have been angry. Monitoring is the option I would have chosen.

And your blog post wasn't whiny! It's very heartfelt and the love you have for your kids is so wonderful.

Sharon
13 year old b/b/b + 17 year old son

I can't remember when my oldest got her Facebook but the rule is that she had to "friend" me. Some of her friends (and their mom's) have "friended" me also and that makes me feel better. Oldest dd even has "friended" her religious ed coordinator.

My other dd has been begging for one. She just turned 13 and is in the 7th grade. I think I am going to wait until she is 14 with the condition that she gives me her password and "friends" me. Kids can be nasty in those early teen years, especially girls.

My ds has absolutely no interest yet. He would rather spend time on Google Earth and his weather websites,lol. Gotta love my little rockin' geography/science nerd!

"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson